TITLE: SHE BLINDED ME WITH SCIENCE (1/1) AUTHOR: Sister Moon E-MAIL: Dhcmoon@aol.com CATEGORY: MSR RATING: PG-13 SUMMARY: Purely mindless fun.....Mulder gets an enigmatic phone call on a cold winter's night. DISCLAIMERS: These characters aren't mine and I won't be making a dime off of them. This is strictly for fun, not for profit. FEEDBACK: Yes, please! I'd love it. E-mail me at the above address. AUTHOR'S NOTE: This story is *ancient*....it was written during Season 5, so I would place the time frame well before "The End"---long before The Foul (Fowl?) One darkened our collective doorsteps "She Blinded Me With Science" (1/1) It was the coldest night of the year. Mulder was slumped lazily on his couch wrapped in a warm, thick blanket, wearing sweatpants, heavy socks and a long-sleeved t-shirt. He listened to the wind howling outside, rattling fiercely against the windows, and he snuggled deeper into the blanket, sighing contentedly. He felt pity for any poor bastards who had to be out in weather like this. He groaned out loud in annoyance when his phone rang. Trying not to move too far from his comfortable spot, he stretched his body over to reach for the phone on the coffee table. "Mulder," he mumbled into it. "Mulder, it's me." "Yeah, Scully, what's up?" "Mulder...I need you to come over to my apartment right away." No!!! Not *now*! he thought to himself miserably. "What is it, Scully?" Scully spoke hesitantly, as if she were afraid someone were listening in on their conversation. "I can't go into it on the phone, Mulder, but it's important." Mulder fought the urge to whine pathetically; he knew it wouldn't work with Scully anyway. "Scully, it's twenty below zero outside...are you sure this can't wait until tomorrow?" "I'm afraid it can't, Mulder....I'm sorry." He exhaled loudly, throwing the blanket onto the floor petulantly. "Okay....I'll be over as soon as I can." "Alright...I'll see you in a while." He heard a click as Scully hung up. Shit! Mulder got up and pulled a heavy sweater over his shirt, cursing to himself. He *hated* being cold. But he knew Scully wouldn't bother him for something frivolous, and he stopped thinking about the cold and started wondering a bit anxiously about what could be so important. He went to the hallway closet and shrugged on his down jacket. When he fumbled around and couldn't find his scarf and gloves right away, he left without them. He would only be going the distance from his car to Scully's building anyway. As soon as Mulder got outside, he started muttering curses again. It was freezing--the kind of chilling, bone-deep cold that made it hurt just to breathe. He hurried to his car and got in; blasting the heat to get warm. When he pulled up in front of Scully's apartment building a short while later, he saw there were no parking spaces close by; he had to drive three blocks away before he found one. He got out of his car and was immediately hit by a blast of bitterly cold wind that brought instant tears to his eyes. I'd better see E.T. sitting on her couch when I get there, he thought, trudging against the ferocious wind towards Scully's apartment. By the time he stood in front of Scully's door ringing her bell, Mulder was shaking with cold. His unprotected face and hands were numb. As he stamped his feet briskly to keep the circulation going in his toes and blew on his cupped hands to warm them, he heard Scully calmly call, "Use your key, Mulder!" Mulder was getting well and truly pissed off. He'd come all the way there and Scully couldn't even come to the freaking *door*? He grumbled to himself and fished in his pocket with stiff, frozen fingers for his keychain, pulling it out and opening the door. He was perplexed to find the apartment dark. "Scully?" he called out, feeling a twinge of apprehension. His face, hands and feet tingled painfully in reaction to the extreme contrast of going from the severe cold outside to the cozy warmth of Scully's apartment. "In the living room, Mulder," Scully called back. He walked towards the living room and saw it was lit only by the glow of a blazing fire in the fireplace. The apartment was so quiet, the only sounds Mulder could hear were the crackling pops of the burning logs accompanied by the wind whistling outside. His mouth dropped open in shock when he saw Scully. She was lying on the floor next to the fireplace, inside a large double-size sleeping bag. Only her head and one creamy white arm and shoulder were visible. There was a tray on the carpet next to her with an opened bottle of wine, two wineglasses, and cheese and crackers arranged artfully on a china plate. Mulder's body began tingling with another kind of heat when Scully's eyes met his and she smiled at him, her face flushing prettily. He could feel the color rising on his own cheeks and his heart hammering in his chest as he asked in bewilderment, "Scully.....what is this?" Scully had to bite her lip to keep from laughing at the astonished look on Mulder's face. He had no idea that the flush on Scully's cheeks was partially due to the two glasses of wine she'd already fortified herself with to gather the courage to carry out her plan. She'd been planning this for months--ever since their night in the Florida woods hiding from "the Mothmen". At the time, Mulder had seemed oblivious to the overtures she'd made to him, much to her disappointment. She'd decided then that she needed to be more direct if she were ever going to get Mulder where she wanted him. She almost felt guilty for making him come out in such freezing weather--even in the dimness of firelight she could see that Mulder's nose, cheeks and ears were flaming red with the cold. But she would soon fix that. Keeping her demeanor as serious as a professor's, Scully stated, "As a scientist, I've been curious to test the validity of the sleeping bag theory; a theory which states that the fastest way to become warm is to crawl naked into a sleeping bag containing someone who is already naked. I believe you're familiar with it?" Mulder's eyes widened in disbelief, and he bit his bottom lip. He stammered like a schoolboy, "Yuh--yeah...." "Good!" Scully said crisply. "You are Test Subject A. Let's begin, shall we?" Mulder was dumbfounded. *Scully?!?* He gaped mutely at Scully as she glanced at the slim gold watch on her wrist and then reached over to the tray. Picking up a tiny tape recorder, she spoke into it. "Test Subject A arrived for the experiment at 8:05 p.m. Eastern Standard Time." She lowered the tape recorder and looked at Mulder. "Mulder, we can't begin the experiment until you take your clothes off.....whenever you're ready." It took Mulder almost a full minute to convince himself he wasn't dreaming before he started to undress. When he was down to nothing except his underwear, he stopped and looked at Scully almost shyly. He couldn't believe this was really happening. He almost expected someone to leap out from behind the couch and tell him he was on "Candid Camera." Scully gave him a seductive half-smile. "In order for the test conditions to be ideal, the subjects need to be *completely* naked." Mulder gulped, suddenly pondering what was hidden from his sight under the sleeping bag. "Are *you*?" "Of course," she answered matter-of-factly, flapping open the sleeping bag quickly. It was only for a brief second, just long enough for Mulder to get a tantalizing glimpse of stark naked Scully. Her eyebrow raised and her smile grew a little wider when Mulder's boxers hit the floor one second later, then he was lowering himself towards the sleeping bag. Scully picked up the tape recorder. "Test was begun at 8:10 p.m." she said, and placed the recorder back down on the tray. She held open the sleeping bag for Mulder to slide in next to her. When he was settled in, he propped himself up on one elbow and murmured in Scully's ear, "What next, Dr. Scully?" He brushed his cold lips against her ear, and puffed a warm breath inside it. Scully shivered slightly in pleasure, then coughed to cover it up. "Er......I need to do a preliminary exam to determine if Test Subject A is indeed cold enough to be a qualified participant in the experiment." She brought one hand up to feel Mulder's nose, then grasped one of his earlobes gently. They were both frosty cold. She ran her hand down one of his arms and felt his fingers. When Mulder tried to entwine their fingers, Scully moved her hand away, shaking her head. "No, Mulder.....my examination isn't over yet. Lie still." "Yes, doctor," he said obediently. He was beginning to really like this experiment. She picked up the tape recorder. "Upper extremities are cold to the touch." "What about my lower extremities?" came Mulder's teasing whisper in her ear. Scully started to reach down, her eyes widening when her hand brushed against a very prominent extremity which was *not* cold to the touch but hot as a furnace. When Mulder jumped a bit and sucked in a startled breath, Scully pulled her hand back. She didn't want this to go too fast. "Um....I can't reach your lower extremities, Mulder. We'll have to skip them and move on." Mulder grinned mischievously. "What about this?" Scully barely stifled a yelp when she felt his freezing cold foot deliberately brush her calf. She said into the tape recorder, "Lower extremities are sufficiently cold as well. Test Subject A has been deemed suitable for the experiment." "I'm honored," Mulder joked sarcastically. He was enjoying the game, but was starting to get impatient and wanted to move things along a little faster. "What now?" he asked Scully softly, nuzzling her neck. She swallowed heavily, struggling to maintain a business-like manner. "We have to time how long it will take you to become warm......why don't we start by putting our arms around each other. That should begin the process sufficiently." "Anything in the name of science, Doctor", he said solemnly, putting his arm around her waist and hugging her body closely to his. Scully slid one arm around his waist and hugged back. She momentarily forgot the experiment when she saw Mulder staring hungrily at her lips and felt his bare skin pressing blatantly against hers. They both moved in at the same time to kiss each other, and soon Test Subject A had his tongue so deeply down Dr. Scully's Merlot-coated throat that she felt dizzy. They broke apart breathlessly. Scully shakily brought her lips up to kiss Mulder's nose, and then sucked gently on his earlobe, checking for warmth. She turned away from Mulder to feel around for the tape recorder and breathed into it, "Test Subject A has shown a marked rise in body temperature at--" she paused to look at her watch, "8:21 p.m., due to--" She let out a shocked moan when Mulder grabbed her tightly from behind and started nipping and kissing the back of her neck eagerly. She let him continue for a moment before turning back to kiss him again face to face. After they'd kissed each other greedily for several minutes, Scully brought her fingers up to feel Mulder's earlobe, and checked her watch before reaching for the tape recorder again. She gasped into it, "Normal body temperature in Test Subject A was reached at approximately 8:32 p.m. Eastern Standard Time....my findings in this experiment will be explored in more depth at another time." She dropped the tape recorder weakly and lay there, panting. Mulder watched her in amusement, then his face promptly fell when she regained her breath and said coolly, "Thank you for participating, Mulder, the findings were very interesting. You can get dressed now." "What?" he exclaimed incredulously. Scully held back a smile; she was having too much fun with Mulder to stop the game just yet. She looked at him seriously. "You can go now, Mulder. The experiment is over." "Like hell it is", he replied, lying full length on top of her and kissing her hard. The tape recorder remained on the carpet unused, as the experiment continued. At 8:45 p.m., Test Subject A was reduced to unintelligible whimpers....... At 9:03 p.m., Test Subject A made Test Subject B scream....... At 10:13 p.m., the experiment was over, and the participants were celebrating its success with wine and cheese. End.