TITLE: Abduct This! AUTHOR: jeri EMAIL: agentjeri@thexfiles.com RATING: PG-13 CATEGORY: XRA(and my own odd touch of H), M-POV KEYWORDS: MSR, post-ep SPOILERS: Requiem STARTED: August 20, 2000 FINISHED: August 21, 2000 SUMMARY: What happened to Mulder. (Succinct, eh?) **DISCLAIMER: Good God! Don't you lawyer types know that we know we don't own these people?! You'd think you'd get it after seven years... **DISCLAIMER OF A DIFFERENT COLOR: The title is the name of a game that came with my "X-Fools" CD-ROM. Don't sue me, coz I don't own that, either. Oy, and I'm not Bill Gates, either, so I don't own anything Windows related. ^*^*^ It takes me a while to realize what I'm getting myself into. Even when I was standing in the circle of light with Theresa, Billy, and the Mighty Morphin Bounty Hunter, I didn't really understand what we were in for. However, now that we've all been magically beamed up to the alien ship, which next takes off for destinations elsewhere in the universe...well, the first thing that I think is "Ooooohhh shiiiiiit..." Before anyone has gotten used to the idea that they've just been abducted (again, for everyone else), we are escorted to the stereotypical abduction room. In fact, it is so typical that I wonder if this is all a stage by the government to keep tabs on me. But of course, all stereotypes have to start somewhere, and that's usually reality. We are seated in very uncomfortable metal chairs, strapped in by our arms, legs, and across our chests. That's when it occurred to me that we could be going away for quite a while. My mind flies instantly to thoughts of Scully...and how she is going to kill me when I return. Damn it! I'd promised her I'd be back. Hell, I refused to let her come with me because I couldn't lose her! And lately, she's been feeling a bit off; I wish she'd just go to the doctor. If he says it's the flu, then at least we'll know, and I won't have nightmares about her cancer creeping back into the foreground. About once a year I get that dream, and it lasts for a few nights. Then I finally convince myself that she's in the clear, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with her. Looks like I'm gonna have nightmares tonight. The Bounty Paper Towel Man comes into the room, looking at each of his hostages. I presume he's taking attendance, making sure we didn't forget anyone before we hit warp speed or whatever the point of no return is. Only a few people look worried. Deputy Ray does; in fact, he looks scared to death. Theresa looks more worried, and I think I know why--who's taking care of her baby? I hope she has family nearby who are willing to believe her about the abductions. Maybe Scully can watch the baby if no one else can. Dudley Do-Right the Bounty strides over to me, staring at my face with undisguised contempt. "Why are you here?" he asks in his gruffest voice. I can only answer honestly. "I haven't the faintest idea, actually. I was just looking for the ship; I didn't plan to be abducted." He looks away for a moment, then turns back. I'm surprised by the faint glint of emotion that peeks out from his eyes. "You shouldn't have come," he says, unnecessarily. "You have more important things to attend to back in Washington. You should have stayed there." Now I'm getting mad. "If I'd known that this would be the consequence for my actions, I *would* have stayed home. This is exactly what I didn't want to happen." He sighs and steps back. "It's too late, now. You'll have to stay with us for the duration of the test. I'll try to arrange it so that you go back first." "Why?" I ask as he turns away. "What's going on that I have to be there for? The audit? Agent Short is all done with my testimony; he's already sent in his report." "The audit is for your own good. Now is the perfect time for you to step away, Agent Mulder. It would be most responsible for you to find a nice, safe, stable job. Go be a psychologist, Mulder." With that oh-so-helpful bit of advice, Mr. Personality continues his role-taking. I wish I knew what the hell he was talking about. He's gotta know how hard it is to get me to quit. The FBI brass has tried to disgruntle me into quitting enough times to realize that I'm in for as long as possible. They'll have to throw me out...on a reasonable charge, of course. Well, now that I think about it, there is *one* reason that I'd quit now. And luckily for the Bureau, it's not happening anytime soon. Way back when the Bureau reqruited me for profiling, I made it very well-known that if at any point in my career I was to have children, regardless of my marital status, I would leave the Bureau to better ensure my presence in my children's lives. Of course...well, I guess the brass better hope I go crazy and kill someone so they can can me. The lights in the room go out without warning, plunging the room into darkness. There are a few frightened cries from the abductees, and I hear soft murmuring as the men try to reassure the women. I wish I had my woman here to reassure me. She survived this whole abduction thang, right? Who'm I kidding? The only thing keeping me sane right now is knowing that Scully is safe at home with the Gunmen watching over her. And I'm sure Skinner will make sure she stays out of trouble, too. I just hope she's not too mad. I hope she knows I didn't plan this. I hope she knows I love her. ^*^*^ Hours later, we find out what the "test" is all about. The colonizers want to know if our "superior" brain power can help them find the Rebels' Secret Base. As the _Star Wars_ theme song runs through my head, complete with filtered breathing, we are taken, one-by-one, into a room that's filled with odd equipment. Before I can ask about the hi-tech toys, a switch is flicked and my head is filled with a gillion thoughts, much like my reaction to that artifact last year. My hands shoot up to my temples, trying uselessly to subdue the pain that accompanies the noise. One thought comes up through the mess as though it was sifted through a sieve, demanding my attention. "Agent Mulder. You will learn to control what you hear in your head. You will find a particular person's thoughts: Alex Krycek. He has been a part of the Rebellion's efforts on Earth since their formation; only he knows the location of their base. Once you have found the required details, you will be permitted to go free." I know this is the Bounty of the Forest Hunter "speaking" to me. I look up at him, trying not to grimace, trying to control the noise like he said. "What guarantee do I get?" I ask. He grunts. "Agent Mulder, there is nothing I can say that will convince you that I am speaking the truth, so I won't waste our time. However, I will tell you that the Project is better off with you in your rightful place. We need you alive, in case recent developments fail to pan out." Once again, I have no clue what he's talking about, and it's beginning to really piss me off. "Why? What's going on that I need to be in DC for?" Bobba Fett the Bounty Hunter (oh, there's a name I can use!) frowns. "It's too bad you aren't aware of those developments," he confesses. "It would most likely make you more willing to help us." "Why would I want to help you? Why would I want to facilitate the destruction of humanity?" I'm bewildered as Bobba Fett throws his head back and laughs. "You must follow you're own creedo more often, Agent Mulder. Trust no one." With that parting shot that leaves me even more confused, Bobba Fett turns and leaves the tiny room. I assume that none of the gadgets before me are a "How To" guide to reading minds, so I close my eyes. As I hear the enormous jumble of thoughts, I imagine that each is on its own Instant Message window. Using the visualization techniques that I perfected for baseball and basketball I move my mental mouse and, one-by-one, click on each window's X to close them. It doesn't take as long as I anticipate, though I have the feeling I've lost track of a whole lot of time by now. When I'm done, I find my mind's eye staring at a screen with three Instant Messages on it. Ratboy0001; SkinnManAP; and Luvrgal4Me. I rather like that last screenname. The only problem with this version of the Instant Messanger is that it's a one-way conversation. What I wouldn't give to let Scully know that I'm okay. I decide to focus on Ratboy0001's IMs right now; he's my ticket out of here, after all. But I'll keep an eye on the other two. Ratboy0001: "I'm sending the Devil back to Hell." I pull myself from that little bit of unpleasant thoughts, and I decide to take a peek at Scully. Luvrgal4Me: zzzzzzzzzsighzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzsighzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzsighzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzsighzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzsighz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzsighzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzsighzzzzzzzzsighzzz I smile. At least she's getting some sleep. Of course, she probably doesn't know what's happened yet. Either she doesn't know, or that flu-ish thing has really hit hard. Okay, time to make sure Skinner knows what he's gotta do. SkinnManAP: I think I get the gist of his thoughts. Don't worry, I mentally plead, she won't kill you. It's my ass she'll be after...and not in the good way this time. Okay, back to unpleasant business. Ratboy0001: Geeze, why's he always thinking about sex? Well, I guess that's the "8 second rule" in action. But next I realize that he's talking about someone in his apartment. I didn't even know he had an apartment! Could that be where the Rebellion's leaders are holing up? I file this information in a corner of my mind. After a while, all three IMs are full of zzz's. I guess it's bedtime down there. What I wouldn't give to be in a bed right now, preferably with Scully next to me... Christ, I've caught the "8 second bug". I need sleep. I barely slept last night, between packing and saying goodbye to Scully and giving out instructions to the Gunmen. Once more, I take my mental mouse, this time clicking on the windows' _ to minimize them. That way I won't lose them for good. Task bar filled with inactive IMs, I start the screensaver and fall asleep. ^*^*^ I wake up to the sound of...well, I'm not sure what sound it is, to be perfectly honest. I'm gonna take a stab in the dark and guess that it's the sound of the alien ship's engine overheating, but I'm probably wrong. There's a pink "While You Were Gone" slip on the table next to me. It's from Bobba Fett, telling me that he stopped by to check on my progress, but I was asleep. I'm to stay awake until we can have a chat. Right. And Skinner's having Scully's baby. I promptly fall back asleep. ^*^*^ Next time I'm jerked awake by a very strong, very large, very annoyed pair of hands. Bobba Fett pulls me to my feet, growling something in a language that I'm unfamiliar with, despite my well- rounded education. I've noticed that my time in the spaceship has made me a bit more sarcastic than normal. Hmm. Odd. "I can't understand you," I gurgle out. Bobba Fett removes his hands from my throat, allowing me to breathe again. How thoughtful. "I told you, don't go back to sleep! Have you found out anything yet?" I shook my head. "Other than the fact that Krycek's a sick bastard? Well, I guess I didn't just find that out, I've known that for a while..." Bobba Fett glares at me, and I realize that's not what he wanted to hear. "Is there a, um, Master Baiter in the Rebellion?" "Not that I know of. So you don't know where the Rebellion is located?" "Not yet," I hedge. His look makes me really want to go back to my IMs. "I will return in a while," he says. "Try not to sleep." With an ominous glare, he strides out of the room, allowing me to breathe even better. I figure I'd better find out where that Rebel base is so I don't unleast the Wrath of Bobba Fett next time he comes to see me. I find the task bar with my mental mouse and maximize the IM from Ratboy0001. Ratboy0001: Wow, Krycek's a happy little homemaker. Who'da thunk it? I could really go for some eggs right now. And bacon. I love bacon. Pigs are wonderful animals. One corner of my mind does its own thing and maximizes Luvrgal4Me's IM. Luvrgal4Me: And at the same time, I hear Krycek. Ratboy0001: Luvrgal4Me: "Scully." Ratboy0001: "Agent Scully. I have some unfortunate news for you." Luvrgal4Me: "What do you mean, Krycek? Where are you?" Ratboy0001: "Nowhere you can find me, Agent Scully. I just felt that I should tell you that Mulder is gone." Goddamn it! Why'd she have to hear it from that scumbag? Luvrgal4Me: "What? Where is he Krycek? So help me God, if you've done anything to him..." Ratboy0001: "I didn't do anything, Scully. I'm nowhere near Oregon. I've been informed, however, that Mulder did indeed find the alien ship. The bad news is that he seems to have boarded it, and it has taken off for an unknown destination." From what I can gather from the rest of the conversation, Krycek has been working with the Rebels since they first began, as Bobba Fett had told me. Apparently I as valuable to the Rebels as I am to their enimies (who have me now, conviently enough). I wonder why I'm in such great demand these days? Ratboy0001: "I'm going to contact the head of the Rebellion, let him know what's going on." Luvrgal4Me: "The head of the rebellion? Is he nearby?" God bless you, Scully. You're pretty psychic for a skeptic. Ratboy0001: "No, he's at the Rebel base." Aha!!! Sthgincitlec!!! God I hope that means something to Bobba Fett, 'cause I certainly have never heard of that place. I write it down on the pink "While You Were Away" slip that is still on the table and with my handy- dandy NASA Space Shuttle pen that Scully gave me for my last birthday. (I bet she'd never thought I'd actually need it in space!) I do the best that I can at spelling the weird name and pray that Bobba Fett will know what I'm trying to say. Mission accomplished, I lean back in my chair and give a firm click on my mental mouse to close Ratboy0001's IM. Time to devote all my time to Luvrgal4Me. For kicks I open up SkinnManAP, too. Luvrgal4Me: SkinnManAP: "Scully...hi. How're you feeling?" Luvrgal4Me: "I'm feeling fine. They're just running some tests on me." SkinnManAP: "Um, Scully..." Luvrgal4Me: "I already heard." SkinnManAP: "Scully, I'm sorry...I lost him..." "I don't know what else I can say. I lost him....I'll be asked what I saw, and what I saw I can't deny....I won't." Hell, I'm starting to cry. Damn it, Skinner, this isn't your fault! Luvrgal4Me: "We will find him, sir. I have to." My heart breaks at the obvious emotion in that statement. It makes me feel so good to know that she'll never stop searching if Bobba Fett decides that I'm not as valuable as he suggested. I'm glad she knows how I feel about her, too. If this had happened years ago, she may have thought that I did this on purpose, but not now. Now she knows that... Luvrgal4Me: "Sir, there's something else I need to tell you. Something that I need for you to keep to yourself..." SkinnManAP: Luvrgal4Me: "I'm having a hard time explaining it. Or believing it..." SkinnManAP: Luvrgal4Me: "I'm pregnant." SkinnManAP: Holy fucking cow! THE END >} (evil Grinch smile) ^*^*^ FREE BONUS! Here's a song that I absolutely love and I just listened to it and it made me cry as I connected it to our heroes. Candle On The Water -- from Disney's _Pete's Dragon_: I'll be your candle on the water My love for you will always burn I know you're lost and drifting But the clouds are lifting Don't give up You have somewhere to turn I'll be your candle on the water Till every wave is warm and bright My soul is there beside you Let this candle guide you Soon you'll see A golden stream of light A cold and friendless time has found you Don't let the stormy darkness pull you down I'll paint a ray of hope around you Circling in the air Lighted by a prayer I'll be your candle on the water This flame inside of me will grow <--my fave line! Keep holding on you'll make it Here's my hand so take it Look for me Reaching out to show As sure as rivers flow I'll never let you go I'll never let you go I'll never let you go ::Sniffle, sniffle:: Sorry if I made you cry, but it's 12:30am and I just had to share that with you all :) Now I'm gonna go light a candle and put it in my window for Mulder. Toodles! 4 out of 5 doctors say expressing your enjoyment of a fanfic to its author increases your life expectancy 23-23.8 years. The other doctor was killed by Cancerman before we could ask him. jeri quinne, president, xpab (x-philes against bees) Gain membership by writing to agentjeri@thexfiles.com