Title: Perceptions
Author: Kayla Ariev 
Rating: R
Spoilers: Existence
Summary: The comings and goings of the X- Files agents had always
piqued the curiosities of the other agents at the DC Bureau, and had
been much fodder for office gossip. Then things got . . . different,
and so did the interest and the rumors.
Category: SR
Keywords: Mulder/Scully Romance
Disclaimer: The X-Files, Mulder, Scully, and all the rest belong to
1013, FOX and Chris Carter.  I'm only borrowing them for a nice little
excursion.

Author's note: Just pretend nothing ever happened after "Existence,"
okay? That's what I do, and I'm a happier person for it.

Feedback to kaylaariev@yahoo.com

* * *

When Special Agent Dana Scully had first been assigned to work with
Fox "Spooky"  Mulder, all bets were on -- how long would she last?

Everyone lost that one, because the longest amount of time anyone put
money down on was a year. And he'd been laughed at for giving Scully
so much credit. For giving Mulder so much credit.

But it had lasted for more than a year. Two.  Three . . . time
progressed, and though their relationship and their assignment to the
X-Files fluctuated, they remained together. Thick and thin.

Her abduction had been an interesting time.  A few cynical agents made
quiet, more-than- usual under-the-table bets about how long until
Mulder offed himself. They, too, all lost. He stuck around (Melissa
Scully saw to that), though barely, and Scully returned and she healed
and they were given back the X-Files and things returned to some
semblance of normalcy, as far as those two and that division could be
concerned.

There were plenty of incidents, of course.  More often than not, their
latest escapade would land one, the other or both of them in the
hospital in one form or another. That became routine, practically. It
was not, in fact, uncommon for it to be heard during the peak lunch
hours in the FBI cafeteria that Mulder or Scully was in the hospital,
and whoever wasn't bed laden sat dutifully at the bedside.

Sometimes, they made Bonnie and Clyde jokes.

It was, after all, common knowledge that the Spooky pair could get
into a lot of trouble, especially regarding government and military
installations. They'd snuck into and gotten caught sneaking into
several top secret, highest level security military bases. The rumors
were that Mulder was looking for aliens, or for his sister, or for
clones, or for human test subjects . . . and sometimes, the rumors
were that Scully was starting to "come around" to his crazy way of
thinking.

Somebody even once said that they heard her defend his convictions,
say that he was so right that everyone else was blinded by the lies.
Or something like that.

And then there was always speculation about the depth of their
relationship. What did it all come down to? Clearly, they weren't just
work-related acquaintances. They saw each other beyond the necessities
of the job and the FBI. They were friends. Best friends.  Defenders.
Protectors. Confidants.  Comforters. But no one could ever decide if
they were lovers or not. It was such a shady topic.

For starters, it was against Bureau regulations. So if they were doing
the dirty, they were keeping it quiet for a reason: they'd lose their
jobs if they were found out.

But that aside, no one could ever make up their minds. There were days
when everyone was nodding and exchanging knowing glances, muttering
and whispering, "Oh, yeah, absolutely, they are so having sex, it is
obvious!"

And then, other days, their eyes would look more disheartened. "No, I
don't think they've had sex."

And other days, it was "sex but no romance,"  or "romance but no sex,"
"love but just platonic," "care but not love," and sometimes something
else entirely.

One thing, however, seemed to be a common thread throughout the rumors
and gossip mills. There were people, of course, who wanted to see them
discredited, ruined.  Jealous people or individuals already in bed
with the X-Files agents' enemies. But most of the other FBI agents
were really pulling for Mulder and Scully. Not for their work or their
cause or the Truth. But for the two people involved. For their
relationship.  Because while the onlookers could never decide if
Mulder and Scully had or had not had sex or had or had not admitted
their love to one another, they were all certain that the pair was,
indeed, in love and loved each other beyond all else. That was too
clear, sometimes so clear that it hurt. And as time progressed, it
seemed to become more and more painfully obvious that Mulder and
Scully were oblivious. Maybe they had some inkling of their own
feelings, some bare tingling in the bottoms of their hearts, but they
had no idea that their feelings were mirrored in the other.

Sometimes, the observant agents wanted to go up and smack the pair in
the heads and tell them what was so clear to everyone else.

Not that it had been an easy conclusion for the others to come to. It
had been after years of observation, punctuated by some of the major
events they were witness to, directly or through gossip and rumor and
whatever tidbit Assistant Director Skinner's secretary, Kimberly,
managed to sneak down to them.

Scully's cancer had been a big one. Mulder became the big defender,
running around blindly into the night with a gun and a cause. Some
said he found answers, others said just more questions. Some thought
he contemplated his options . . . you know, if she were to die. But
she came back to work, forgoing treatment (somebody said the treatment
was making it worse).

But the pair was more somber after that.  They were quieter, but more
determined than ever, it seemed. But despite their best efforts, her
cancer was worsening and their entrapment in some scheme became more
serious than ever.

It seemed the entire Hoover building was silent when news hit that Fox
Mulder had killed himself. And that Scully had ID'ed the body, before
reporting to a review panel in order to discuss the work she and Agent
Mulder had pursued over the last four years.

Then her cancer struck her a blow, in the middle of the panel, and
she'd been rushed to the hospital.

That was when things got weird. Because Fox Mulder stormed in
demanding to see her, not caring that AD Skinner wanted to know why he
looked so good for a dead man, not caring that his prank was out, that
there was still a dead body found in his apartment to contend with.
Only caring that he get to Scully, just see her and know she was alive
and alright, at least for the moment.

He'd acted irrationally like that once before in a hospital. When she
had returned there mysteriously after her abduction. When Mulder was
in a mood like that, he would never be calmed until he could see her
and then he'd demand answers. He was stubborn, persistent and the
other FBI agents, the ones who watched him and Scully so regularly,
knew that it was because he loved her more than he knew he was capable
of loving another being.

Things got confusing at this point. They say Mulder snuck into a top
level security Department of Defense facility, then through there into
the Pentagon where he found something . . . possibly a cure for
Scully's cancer.

Some people say it was a vial of liquid, meant for injection. Some say
it was a card of special chemo treatment instructions. But the most
common story, the one more incredible to comprehend, was that all he
found was a tiny metallic chip meant to be implanted subcutaneously at
the base of her neck. Where she had previously found a similar chip, a
result of her abduction, one that she had removed before developing
the cancer.

It was all so far-fetched, but regardless, Dana Scully returned to
work shortly after having the new chip -- the one Mulder found --
implanted and her cancer drifted into remission.

Things got better for the pair for a while.  Just routine cases for a
while, and slowly their light occasional playfulness would return,
like before the cancer. But barely a year later their office was
burned and the X-Files shut down, Mulder and Scully reassigned to
domestic terrorism.

That summer they got involved in the bombing of a Dallas office
building and were facing reviews with OPR for their behavior --
something about being in the wrong building, leaving the SAC behind
alone, who had done what. And then they said that Scully got kidnapped
and taken to Antarctica, part of some experiment with the shadow
government it was rumored she and Mulder were always pursuing, always
attempting to uncover.

And Mulder, ever the hero, rescued her. He just took off to
Antarctica, after having just received a close call of his own, a
bullet meant for his brain that, fortunately, just grazed his brow. He
ran to the ends of the earth to rescue her.

But, as so often seemed the case with this pair, things really did not
get much better.  The X-Files were reopened after this incident, but
it was like higher-ups were taunting them, flaunting it in front of
them because Mulder and Scully were not reassigned back to the
division that truly was theirs. They got dumped on background check
duty interminably while another pair, people who seemed to have just
seeped out of the woodwork, took over the X-Files.

Mulder and Scully got into a lot of trouble that year. They were
ordered away from the X-Files, not to pursue any line of investigation
outside of their jurisdiction while assigned to background check
detail.  But, of course, Mulder couldn't be quashed.  Oddly enough,
neither could Scully. The two were always sneaking into their old
office, always making phone calls or taking off somewhere on some
lead, some clue, some hint . . . still trying to continue what had
become known as "their cause" despite their predicament.

And just as swiftly as they had been removed from the X-Files, they
were one day reassigned.

Kimberly reported with glee that their first case back on the X-Files
was an undercover job, as a married couple. The lunchroom crowd had
long hours of laughs over that one, imagining and sharing various
possible scenarios. That was a favorite for the followers of the
Mulder-Scully rumor mill for years.

And following that escapade, things returned to X-Files normalcy.
Again.

Things -- just things -- still happened. But at least they had the
files. And each other.

Mulder battled some bizarre mental disease, which disappeared just as
mysteriously as it had arrived.

His mother died -- committed suicide.

That was an interesting day in the gossip mills. Kimberly reported
that Scully had spent the night at Mulder's place, helping him through
his grief. She said Skinner, himself, had found her there that
morning.  She told him, "He's had a rough night."  Kimberly knew
because it had shaken Skinner enough to tell her himself. He, too, of
course religiously followed the Mulder- Scully gossip. They were his
agents, but even he did not know whether they'd consummated the
relationship, as it were, or not.

And he, like the rest of the FBI, was dying to find out.

Time continued to progress.

Despite his mother's death, Mulder managed to find closure to the
mystery of his sister's disappearance many years ago.  Someone said
they'd heard him tell his partner that he was finally "at peace," or
at least, "some semblance of peace."

Talk -- rumor, again -- was that he was insinuating that his and
Scully's relationship was still in turbulent waters, but other aspects
of his life had been peacefully concluded.

Turns out, the talk was pretty true.

Following the closure of his sister's abduction, Mulder seemed to have
become much more light-hearted. He still went on about government
conspiracies and alien colonization plots, but he did so with a small
smirk tugging at his lips; like he seemed to know that no matter what,
he had something good in his life. That something good -- well, it was
Scully.

The exact date when they finally consummated the relationship has
still been up for much office debate. But the fact of the matter is --
they did consummate it. And both agents' spirits lifted.

Somewhat. There was still a sadness -- some sort of regret --
lingering just below the surface. Most people thought, at the time,
that it was because they had to keep the relationship a secret. Never
mind the whole damned FBI knew and was rooting for theme;  protocol
demanded secrecy. They would want their privacy, too. Some thought the
restrictions on their relationship had something to do with the
lingering sadness.  Maybe they wanted to get married, but in order to
keep working together they'd have to remain legally single ... and
continue to keep their relationship clandestine.

Then one day, in the midst of a lunchroom discussion on this very
topic, Kimberly muttered, "I think they want kids."

The conversation stopped. All eyes looked at her. She elaborated. "A
few years ago, they found out Agent Scully was barren because of that
abduction business ... I think they're so sad because they cannot have
children. They tried, once, I think, actually ... before they'd
consummated the relationship, even. I overheard them muttering about
in vetro and Mulder's participation in the procedure. I think it
failed; they were devastated. I remember that week -- they came in for
a meeting with the assistant director and I've never seen them so
morose. It was like they were mourning ... anyway, I think they're sad
because they cannot have children."

Someone mentioned the consequences.

"I don't think they care," Kimberly went on.  "They only keep working
at the FBI, on the X-Files because that's all they have, besides each
other. I think if they could have kids, they'd give it up in a second.  
Get hitched, move to the suburbs, buy the family dog, raise the
children and watch time progress around them. While they stood still."

The others nodded knowingly, understanding this logic. It made the
most sense.

So it was soon spread throughout the building that Mr. and Mrs. Spooky
wanted to have little baby Spookies but couldn't. And that was why
they were so sad.

Barely a month after this rumor came to popularity, Mulder disappeared
-- an alien abduction -- and Scully was released after a very brief
stay at the hospital. Skinner wouldn't tell Kimberly anything -- which
in and of itself, told her it was huge -- but he did have her return
Agent Scully's medical files to the records office. And en route, she
peeked inside ... and almost fainted.

Georgetown Medical Center Patient: Scully, Dana Katherine. Pregnancy
test results:
     Positive
Time along: 3 (weeks)
Paternity: Mulder, Fox William (confirmed)
Due date: May 29, 2001

In her excitement, Kimberly almost forgot to return the file to
records. She did, but immediately after doing so, she ran as calmly as
she could to the corner of the cafeteria where she and the rest of the
core Mulder-Scully gossip mongers gathered. Most of them were there.

She was breathless when she panted the news.

A baby Mulder-Scully was en route.

Then someone asked: "But where's daddy?"

And everyone sombered. Mulder was gone. He did not know he was soon to
be a father.

Everyone watched the next few months with bated breath.

They saw the new "partner" come in -- John Doggett -- and watched his
puzzlement over the entire situation. He was a transfer from New York,
so he was out of the loop, but he seemed to be the last to find out
Scully was pregnant and the last to figure out Mulder was the father.
He didn't even figure it out when all Scully lived and breathed was
finding Mulder; she had to find Mulder.

The core gossipers opted to keep Doggett out of the loop; it was safer
for them and for him. They didn't need Scully finding out.  But he
heard enough through the proverbial grape vine.

If the silence had been profound when the agents at the Hoover found
out Mulder was "dead" the first time ... this time, now that he was
dead and about to become a posthumous father, it was more than
silence. Life inside the building stopped. Time stopped.  Everything
paused.

Everyone watched as Scully moved through the building, her black garb
loose over the gradual swell of her belly, her eyes clouded and as
dark as an overcast night sky. Her jaw set. Her hair bounced on her
shoulders as she walked, her heels echoing on the floors, the sound
bouncing off the walls of the otherwise still, pristine hallway.

The gossip dwindled after the funeral. It was true, then. Agent Fox
Mulder had died;  he was buried in the ground, now covered with
virginal snow.

The Widow Spooky still came to work; still held her head high when
anyone watched, but most knew that in the silence of her own night she
was a wreck, and the only thing still tethering her to this earth was
the child inside of her; the child that would be its father's child.

Then one day, Dana Scully smiled as she walked down the hallway. Just
looked up and smiled. Her hands rested happily on the now obvious
round belly, her hair moved and swayed, but so did her hips, her
shoulders, her face. Her eyes were sapphire again, clear and not
clouded. They twinkled again.  Her flesh had a rosy hue to it, no
longer pale and sickly like death. And then somebody noticed that she
was wearing color -- a bright sage green shirt underneath her
professionally -- not mournfully -- black skirt suit. And when she
looked up at one of the agents she passed, she offered up a small
smile.

That agent knew what was later that day confirmed -- somehow, by some
act of God or some otherworldly miracle, Fox Mulder had arisen from
the dead healthy and alive.

But, see, things once again got strange for that pair. He grew
distant. And the source of the growing gap between them seemed to be
the child growing in Scully's womb.

More rumors: he didn't know he was the father. He didn't believe he
was the father.  Thought she'd cheated on him. Thought the baby was --
gasp! -- alien. Thought more malignant forces were at work.

One day, a small tirade was overheard:

"How, Scully? How can that, that thing inside of you be a miracle?
You're barren.  You can't have children. Yet here you are, with child,
and you're just so happy to have this, that you've gone blind. Is that
what my absence has done to you? Left you blind?"

"Don't be flippant, Mulder."

"Look who's talking. Scully, I would love nothing more than to become
a parent with you, but as much as I want that, I will not let these
people seduce me into believing another lie. I won't be lulled to
sleep like you have, while this abomination nears its due date."

Somewhere along the way, he came around. And his features brightened.
So did hers. They were both still concerned. Seems they were both
half-asleep. They were both half-right.

Malignant forces were at work in creating this child, but it was
indeed their child -- Mulder's and Scully's -- and nature had
conceived it even if a secret science had made it possible.

Then Mulder went got fired from the FBI.

At first, no one could believe it was true.  Fox Mulder, fired?

But then the realization dawned: he had lasted this long?

Truly, it was quite admirable he had made it so far in the debacle one
might call his career. But the oddest thing about his dismissal from
the Bureau was not that it had finally happened, but that Mulder
didn't seem to mind. It was almost as if the FBI had made it easier
for him; he didn't have to justify a resignation. He could just accept
his dismissal. And he did, whole heartedly.

There were odd stories about the birth of Scully's baby, and most
people were too exhausted from past X-Files-related stories, and
Mulder's recent resurrection, so the stories went largely untalked
about and unsubstantiated.

When Mulder had been found dead, the building had mourned for him.
When he returned with a red visitor's badge bouncing against his
thigh, with son in tow, the building smiled.

And for once, in the years he had spent walking the hallways of the
Hoover Building, Mulder acknowledged the people watching him pass by.
And this time, people were blatant in their observations. They stopped
and stared, almost reverently. Father and son.  Outside of Assistant
Director Skinner's office, the pair was greeted by the child's mother.
Agent Scully took them both into an embrace. She kissed Mulder on the
mouth, unashamed, and took her child into her arms.  Together, they
went into Skinner's office.

Kimberly's mouth dropped open a little when Scully laid her badge and
her gun on top of her desktop after a brief meeting with the assistant
director. Skinner, himself, watched from his doorway, leaning against
the wooden frame, arms crossed, face bright and smiling. "I'll see you
all this weekend," he said.

The trio -- the family -- walked out. As the reached the hallway,
Scully turned back to the secretary.

"Kimberly?" The woman looked up. "You can tell your gossiping friends
that I've resigned to raise my son ... with his father, to whom I am
now engaged, in the suburbs, in a house with a white picket fence,
where we hope to one day have a dog and our very own minivan. Oh, and
we've always known the rumors you tell about us -- and we find them
very amusing."

"Especially the one about the alien baby,"  Mulder said, bouncing his
son in his arms.

Kimberly watched, silently, as Mulder wrapped his free arm around
Scully and together, their child giggling as he bounced against his
father's hip, they left the Hoover Building, riding off into the
sunset.

And they lived happily ever after.

* * *

See? Fairy tales really can come true! And they always have a happy
ending.

Send comments of pleasure and displeasure (preferably the first) to
kaylaariev@yahoo.com