Title: Joy in Mudville
Author: Laura Sprys
Date: 5/17/2001
E-Mail: short_and_cute@hotmail.com
Rating: a nice, healthy PG (with a bit of swearing)
Category: MSR
Summary: Let's just say; who needs that whole "no
consorting in each others rooms" rule.
Spoilers: DON'T PANIC: There aren't any spoilers.
I swear.
Disclaimer: I've borrow our illustrious duo for a bit
... to write something that Carter wouldn't dare ...
Mulder and Scully having a life ...
because his toying is too hard to bare...

Joy in Mudville
By: Laura Sprys

"Give me that before I shove this stapler down your
throat."

"Are you threatening me?"

"Yes Beavis, I'm threatening you."

"That would make you Butthead."

"I prefer Ted."

"Good, 'cause I was always a fan of William S.
Preston Esquire."

"Are you going to pay up or not?"

"This bill has a mind of it's own Scully, I can't
control whether it wants to go in your wallet or not."

"Mind of it's own, my ass."

"And such a nice ass it is too."

"Money. Hand. Now."

"It's not good to keep that anger bottled up."

"Give me that." Scully scaled the desk and stood
next to him but still couldn't reach Mulder's up
stretched arm, "now!"

"Are you ever gonna grow Scully?"

"I'll kill you in your sleep, I swear."

"I thought Catholic girls didn't swear?"

"God'll forgive me."

"But the question is, will I?"

Both spun around at the sound of their boss' voice.
Scully, however, spun a bit too fast and stumbled
backwards.

Mulder made a quick save and caught her before she
tumbled to the ground. While in his arms, she plucked
the $20.00 neatly from his hand, "thank you very much."

Grinned at her smiling face, "cheater."

"Ahem." Skinner cleared his throat to get their
attention back. "I hate to interrupt but I need you
two to listen."

Mulder dropped lightly to the floor and held Scully's
hand while she got down beside him. Turning to his boss,
"sir, we're sorry..."

Skinner held up his hand, "didn't ask, don't want to
know." Handing a file to Mulder, "welcome to your new
case."

$%&$%&$&%

After stopping at a Blockbuster, getting a membership
and picking up a pile of movies, they got back to the
hotel. "So, which should we watch first, 'Silence of
the Lambs and Hannibal' or 'Armageddon and The Fifth
Element'?"

"I'm sensing a theme Mulder."

"Good ... I thought it was my feet."

Shaking her head at him with a smile, "Silence and
Hannibal. We can pick out how much they did wrong."

"Terror awaits." He hit play and then the lights,
plunging them into almost complete darkness until the
movie began its opening credits.

About an hour into 'Silence', Mulder commented, "you
know, she reminds me of you."

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

"I'm comparing you to Jodie Foster ... it's a very
good thing."

"Then would that make you Hannibal?"

"Well, I've never eaten anyone but I often get the urge
to bite a head or two off."

"As long as you don't feed them to me for dinner."

"Never, Scully. Never."

$%&$&%&$

By the end of the movie, both were cheering the
Cannibal, "that Chilton ass deserves to be a main
course."

Scully got up to change tapes, "rarely do I root
for the bad guy but I couldn't agree with you more."

"Are we sick?"

After sliding 'Hannibal' into the player, she sat
back down next to him, "what do you mean?"

"For the last 12 hours, we've been sifting through
body parts and been up to our elbows in blood and we
unwind by watching this stuff."

"We're not sick Mulder. The person or people who gave
us those bodies are the ones who are sick."

"We're cheering for a person who eats people."

"But it's Anthony Hopkins."

Debating for a moment, "good point." Shifting onto his
stomach, his head now at the end of the bed, "hit it."

Scully settled next to him, head propped up on her
folded pillow, "I wonder who the main course is this
time?"

"Hopefully someone who resembles Kersh."

"You're right. We are sick."

"But I still love us."

$%&$&%&$

"Can I just say that whole brain thing was totally
disgusting."

"Mulder, you ought to be used to stuff like that."

Reaching over the side of the bed, he opened their
sixth and final beer. Taking a long gulp, he handed
it to Scully who did the same, "all I know is I
enjoyed that quite a bit."

Continuing to pass the can back and forth, "the first
was better but this still ranks pretty high on my list."

He finished the drink with a final slurp and laid his
head on the pillow facing her, "what else is on your
list?"

"All kinds of weird shit. My favorite movies, my
favorite books, those five people I'd like to haunt
... things like that."

"Am I on your list somewhere?"

Grinning at him, "yup, right above chocolate and
right below strawberries."

"I'm on your favorite foods list?"

"Good night Mulder."

Shutting his eyes and knowing her would dream of his
Scully, warm, next to him on the bed, he smiled in her
direction, "good night."

$%&$%&$%

He did indeed dream about her and apparently she
dreamed about his as well, because when he woke up
the next morning, she was curled up beside him, her
head on his arm.

He, on the other hand, was settled on his back,
Scully's hair tickling his chin and her back moving
against his side with each rhythmic breath. Deciding
he would like to stay just like this forever, he
closed his eyes again, fully prepared to sleep the day
away.

The world had other plans for the pair however. Mulder
hoped that whoever was knocking at the door would go
away but of course, they didn't and he finally had to
slide out of bed, if only to shut the idiot up.

That idiot turned out to be the sheriff they were
working with on their current case. The sheriff glanced
around the room, taking in Mulder's hair and sweatpants
along with the still asleep Scully in her pajamas, as
well as the rumpled bed and beer cans. "Rough night?"

Mulder ran his fingers through his hair, making it
stand up even more, "let's say you can only work a case
for so long before you need a break."

"Well, I hope it was fun because I'm about to rain on
your parade."

Leading the sheriff outside, Mulder switched himself
into investigator mode, "shoot."

$%&$%&$

A few minutes later he came back in the room and knelt
at the foot of the bed by Scully's head. Softly he
began waking her up, "Scully, wake up ... Scully ..."
A grumble emerged from her throat and her head moved a
bit so Mulder continued, "it's 7:00am and not all is
well."

"Go away, I gave at the office."

"Time to go to work."

This time she lifted her head up, "was that the
sheriff?"

Leaning against the side of the mattress, "yup and
you're not going to like this."

"Why do I have the feeling that I'm going to have a
scalpel in my hand the entire day?"

"Because you're psychic."

Her brain worked its way awake and she pulled herself
into a sitting position, "all right, let's hear it."

Mulder dutifully filed the image of her in her pajamas
(without her bra he gleefully noticed) into the back
of his mind so they could focus on the information at
hand.

$%&$&%&$

Once they had tossed around some idea and planned their
day accordingly, Scully grabbed her stuff and headed
for a quick shower in her adjoining room while Mulder
took one in his.

Meeting 15 minutes later, Scully sat down to shove her
feet into her 'Doc's', to which Mulder asked, "you're
wearing those?"

"If I've got to stand at that autopsy table all day,
I sure as hell am not doing it in dress shoes."

"They're red Scully."

Glancing up at him, "I'm still waiting for a point to
this line of questioning."

With a grin, he dug in his suitcase for his own battered
Navy blue boots, "you wear yours, I wear mine."

Once they were on, she studied both of their feet, "I
think we should wear these all the time."

Grabbing their coats, "wouldn't Skinner just love that?"

$%&$&%&$

They finally stumbled into their hotel at 2 the
following morning. Mulder pulling off his boots as
he walked then crashing onto the bed face down, "am
I asleep yet?"

Scully tossed her shoes and jacket in the corner and
flopped onto the empty side of the wide bed, "I fell
asleep an hour ago so I have no idea."

"Would you mind if I slept right here until Christmas?"

Scully turned on her left side and faced him, brushing
the hair from his eyes before closing her own, "not at
all. I don't plan on moving, why should you?"

Already drifting off, "you're an angel Scully."

"You're not so bad yourself."

$%&$&%

About five hours later, the phone rang next to Mulder's
head, scaring the living shit out of him. Slamming
his hand on the table trying to reach Alexander Graham
Bells infernal invention, he finally got the receiver
to his ear. Growling into it, "this had better be good
because I have no qualms about shooting you.""

"Agent Mulder?"

"Shit. Sorry sir. What's wrong?"

Scully listened carefully from her side of the bed and
had already sat up by the time Mulder said goodbye.
"Did they find him?"

Trying to smooth the wrinkles from his shirt, he gave
up and grabbed a pair of jeans and a thermal shirt from
his suitcase, "yeah, about five minutes ago. They're
waiting on us. We lead."

Already reaching for her jeans and boots, "this is
going to get messy."

"It'll be an adventure. The mud can't be more than
6-7 feet deep."

"Great." Heading towards the bathroom, "as long as
we catch that bastard, I don't care how much mud I
have to slog through."

Pulling on his shirt, "then let's get it on."

Scully poked her head out the door, "excuse me?"

Sitting on the bed in his boxers, he started to pull
his jeans up, "you know what I mean."

"Well, first we've got to do this raid thing but after
that I'm free."

"No, I meant ..." It took a minute for him to see the
teasing grin on her face, "you suck."

Shutting the door, her laughter mixed with his,
"I know."

$%&$&%$&

Almost eight hours later, the pair slowly entered
Mulder's hotel room. Both resembled walking mud pies,
caked dirt covered nearly every inch of their bodies.
Mulder's hair had achieved a spike that no mortal man
could ever reproduce while Scully's was plastered to
her head.

"I don't even know how to begin to get this shit off."

Mulder slowly pulled his boots off and gently set them
next to the door, trying not to knock the dirt off,
"I say we get in the shower and try to keep most of
the mud in the tub."

Scully held up a hand, "better idea." Moving as
carefully as she could, she got hold of the comforter
on the bed and walked backward, pulling it flat on the
floor. Standing on it, "self contained mud. Better than
clogging up the pipes."

Grinning at her as best he could, considering the
dried mud cracked and pulled whenever he moved, "have
you seen yourself in a mirror? We're still going to
fuck up the plumbing."

"But we'll be able to say we tried."

"Very true." Beginning to pull the shirt over his
head "let the stripping commence."

Five minutes later, after a bit of giggling, a nice heap
of muddied clothing sat on the blanket and Scully was
heading for her shower, giving Mulder explicit orders
not to look at her in her underwear.

Those orders, like so many others in his life, he
chose to ignore once Scully had started to walk away
from him. It didn't help that the underwear was
black and looked damn tempting against her pink skin.
His reaction was quite noticeable, so he scurried into
his own shower, figuring a cold one might do the trick.

$%&$&%&

Digging in her ears with some Q-Tips, Scully walked
through the open door between the two rooms, finding
Mulder on the phone with the pizza guy. Finishing
the call, he swung around in the chair, "I left a
dirt ring in that tub that no cleanser will ever
get out."

"It's nice not to have mud in every crevasse of
my body."

"Ooohhh, need me to double check any?"

"Cute." She settled cross-legged on his bed and balled
up the towel she had carried with her, shooting in
expertly into his open bathroom door, "how long
'til food?"

"'Bout twenty minutes." Propping his bare feet on
the bed, "the big question on my mind now is, do we
file this case under: B for bastard ass killer, D for
delusional shit head or M for the mud puddle that
tried to eat us?"

"This is why I'll never understand your filing system."

Seriousness shadowed his face for a brief time, "we
did good Scully."

"I know." Lighting up the room with her smile and
patting the bed next to her, "now get over here so
we can start the movies and fall asleep."

"Yes ma'am."

$%&$&%&$%

Surprisingly enough, they made it through the pizza
and one of the movies before succumbing to exhaustion.
Mulder woke up just long enough to flip the T.V. off
and slide Scully from her sitting position against the
headboard to a better one on her side. He settled
behind her and after a moment's hesitation, he slipped
his arm over her waist, resting his elbow comfortably
in a hollow in her hip. Smiling into her now clean
neck, "good night my sweet Scully."

They slept through to the next morning, with Mulder
only waking momentarily when Scully stumbled over him
trying to get to the bathroom. Feeling her way back
to the bed, she crawled in, using as a pillow the first
thing her head hit, which happened to be Mulder's
stomach.

$%&$&%&$

Scully opened her eyes slowly to the sound of rumbling
thunder. For a minute she thought that maybe it was
Mulder's stomach but then a bright flash of lightning
told her otherwise. Moving carefully, she dug the remote
from under the pillow and turning the volume off, found
the weather channel.

According to their maps, a storm pattern the size of
Asia seemed to have parked itself over their hotel.
Flipping the T.V. back off, she jumped when Mulder
asked, "do I need to start building the Ark yet?"

"I'll let you know when."

"Thanks ... how come you got off me anyway?"

"Ooh, the fun I could have with that loaded question."

"Just lay back down. You were keeping me warm."

Settling back into position, "it's gonna be one of
those lazy days isn't' it?"

Absent-mindedly, he began playing with her hair, "do
you realize this is the third morning we've woken up
together?"

"I'd say we're pushing that consorting rule to the
breaking point."

Feeling totally relaxed and comfortable with the
fact they were lounging in bed, "I think we ought
to forget that damn rule. I like waking up with you."

Scully, with boldness coming from regions unknown,
"consider it forgotten 'cause I like waking up with
you too."

"Hell, how about we get married? Then we wouldn't
even have to forget that stupid rule because it wouldn't
apply anymore."

Lifting up her head, she looked straight into his
eyes, "sounds perfect to me." The silence hung there
until Scully stood up and headed for the bathroom,
"gonna take a shower."

"Scully?"

Still facing the bathroom, "yeah?"

"I wasn't kidding."

She turned to him with a happy grin, "neither was I."
Flipping on the bathroom light, "so, are you taking a
shower with me or what?"

He bounced off the bed and got to her in less than half
a second, "just waiting for the official invite."

Pulling off her shirt and handing it to him, "how's
this for an invitation?"

"Perfect, my love. Perfect."

$%&$&%&$

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