Title: Come Back To Me II: Search & Rescue Author: mulder42 E-Mail: mulderfortytwo@hotmail.com Rating: PG Category: MSR, Torture, Angst, told from both Mulder & Scully's POV's Spoilers: A little bit of this & that--all the way up to Season 7 (and parts of Season 8!), where this story takes place. Summary: Mulder & Scully have admitted their true feelings to one another and embarked on a romantic relationship. But soon after they become lovers, Mulder disappears, the apparent victim of an alien abduction. How far will Scully go to get her partner, best friend, and soulmate back? Disclaimer: Mulder & Scully don't belong to me--they belong to each other! I have no right to keep them apart...Legally, they belong to Chris Carter, Ten Thirteen Productions, and 20th Century Fox Television. Author's Notes: I got so much great response from "The Distance Between Us", that I decided to write a sequel of sorts. You don't necessarily have to read the first story, but if you would like to know how M&S got to where they are in their relationship, then by all means do! If you're reading this, you should've previously read "Come Back To Me I", right? You haven't? What are you waiting for? Dedications-- To lbjeffries & TAG: My two biggest supporters when "Distance" was originally posted at the FANDOM messageboard. Your endless feedback to me after every part was a really great motivator. Thanks so much, ladies! To Susan Frankovich: My fanfiction goddess; the queen of the vignette, and accomplished M&S dialogue writer. What would I do without your beautiful works? Thank you. AND especially... To Nancy: What can I say? When I first met you online in August 1999, I felt I had met a kindred spirit. We could discuss anything and everything X-Files. As a fellow Mulderist, I can always count on you to have a good chat about 'all things' David. Talking with you for the last 2+ years has been a lot of fun, and very enlightening to my life. Hang in there, and "never give up on a miracle." Thank you for being my friend. :) ============================== Look at this face I know the years are showing Look at this life I still don't know where it's going I don't know much But I know I love you And that may be, all I need to know... --"Don't Know Much" by Linda Ronstadt & Aaron Neville And death shall have no dominion. Dead men naked they shall be one With the man in the wind and the west moon; When their bones are picked clean and the clean bones gone, They shall have stars at elbow and foot; Though they go mad they shall be sane, Though they sink through the sea they shall rise again; Though lovers be lost love shall not; And death shall have no dominion. --"And Death Shall Have No Dominion" by Dylan Thomas ============================== COME BACK TO ME II: SEARCH & RESCUE By mulder42 PART NINE: THE EMPTINESS INSIDE XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX SCULLY'S APARTMENT 9:45am As I lie here in bed, I wonder what course of action I should take. How do I get Mulder back? What I really wanted to do was shrivel up and die. He was gone, and I felt so numb. I didn't know what to do, but I had to remain strong. Mulder would want me to. I don't know how long I stayed in bed. I was in a daze, just staring up at the ceiling. I heard a pounding at my door. I tried to ignore it, until I heard someone frantically calling my name. "Dana? Dana, I know you're here. Please, open the door! It's your mother." I jumped out of bed, and let her in. "Mom? What are you doing here? What's wrong?" "What's wrong? I should be asking you that question, Dana. I got a phone call an hour ago from your boss." "Assistant Director Skinner?" "Yes. He said there was a 'situation' with Agent Mulder. What is it?" "I wish he hadn't done that. I don't want you to worry." "Dana! I'm already worried! Are you going to tell me what's going on?" I closed the door and led her over to the couch. I guess I had to tell her. How could I keep something like this to myself? "Mom, this is going to be very upsetting to hear, but I want you to stay strong, okay?" "Okay." I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. "Mulder's gone, Mom." "What do you mean, he's 'gone'?" "Remember when I was missing, Mom? This is the same type of situation." "You mean he's been abducted?" "Yes." There, I did it, and with no emotional hysterics. I grabbed my mother's hands. "You'll find him, won't you Dana? You'll find Fox?" "I have to, Mom. A part of me is gone. Gone with him wherever he is right now..." She didn't say anything else. She held me in her arms and told me that everything was going to be okay. xxxxxxx TUESDAY, OCTOBER 3rd X-FILES OFFICE 6:37am I took Monday off, but I just had to come in today. Skinner told me to take as much time as I needed, but I had to do something. So I sat in our office looking around at everything--all the books, files, Mulder's 'I Want To Believe' poster, Max Fenig's NICAP hat. Seven years of memories in this office, and I wouldn't change a day. Well, maybe that 'flukeman' thing. I could have lived without that just fine. I smiled. "Oh, Mulder..." "Agent Scully, what are you doing here? I told you to take some time off." "I know, sir. I just couldn't sit at home another day." "I know this is hard, but we'll find him." "I know we will, but I was just wondering..." "Wondering what, Agent Scully?" "What if Mulder is...what if he's...?" "Don't say it, Dana. Mulder's a strong man. He can make it through this." "I don't even know why I'm thinking this way." "Go home. That's an order." "But, sir, I feel like I should be doing something!" "You'll be no use to me right now. The gunmen are working on it, so don't worry." "Don't worry! That's all I've been doing." I went home, still worrying. It just dawned on me that today is the day Mulder was going to see my fertility doctor. I called her office to cancel the appointment. She wanted to know when Mr. Mulder would reschedule. "Nothing's definite right now," I say. I couldn't possibly tell her that he was abducted by aliens, and that I absolutely had no clue as to his whereabouts at this very moment. "No, Dana! You can't think like that. He *will* be found. You *will* find him." 11:21am I couldn't take any more of this pacing around my apartment, so I left to go for a walk. When I got back, I thought about what my mother told me right before she left me Saturday. "I'm going to church, and light a candle for Fox." "Oh, Mom, you don't have to do that!" "I know I don't, but it will make me feel better." "Thanks." "You call me the minute you find him, Dana. I don't care what time it is." "I will. I promise." I don't think I could go to church right now. Just the thought of it was enough to make me feel woozy, just like when I was in Oregon. It made me angry too, and I didn't want to pray to a god that would let this happen. So I went to my bedroom, and lit a candle to place by the picture of Mulder and me. The picture my mother took on July 4th. What did she say in her note to him? 'Cherish the moments you have together.' It was too soon for us. We haven't had enough time to enjoy being together. "I don't care what it takes, Mulder. I'll do whatever it takes to find you. It's not your time yet. You can't be gone..." I felt kind of silly talking out loud to Mulder like this. Tomorrow I'll go out and buy some nice stationery. I wrote him before; I guess I can do it again. xxxxxxx 10:13am I didn't like any of the paper I saw at the store. Somehow, they didn't seem to 'fit'. I looked for a few more minutes, before I decided to leave. That's when I saw it--a notebook, with a clear cover and pink pages. I picked up two. Before I got to the cashier, I saw some pens that jumped out at me, one in particular--a purple one, with metallic ink. I picked up two of these as well. I rushed home, all ready to make the first entry. I really didn't know what I wanted to say, so I just told him what was in my heart right now. I put today's date at the top: Wednesday, October 4th. xxxxxxx I took the rest of the week off, but on Monday, I came back into the office. I demanded that Skinner give me something to do. He reassigned me temporarily to the Behavioral Sciences Unit. It was all I needed to get my mind off Mulder for a few hours each day. I wrote Mulder every night, right before I went to bed, blowing out the candle by our picture. I closed my eyes, hoping I would dream about him, but the dreams never came. I was still having those lightheaded episodes, so I made an appointment to see my regular doctor. I couldn't get to see him until Friday. Mulder's birthday. I took the day off, really dreading it the entire time. Imagine my shock, when he told me I was seven weeks' pregnant! I couldn't believe it. How could this be? It was a miracle--I had no other way to describe it. Seven weeks! That meant it happened the first time Mulder and I made love. Unbelievable! He wouldn't believe it when I told him. I decided to write my letter a little early tonight. Afterwards, I went to bed. I was happy and sad all at the same time. A couple hours later, I woke up from a terrible nightmare. I could hear two heartbeats--one mine, the other my unborn child's. Then I saw Mulder on a table in a room that slowly became dark. Silence for a few moments, and then I hear the most awful scream from him, begging them not to hurt him... xxxxxxx SOMEWHERE ABOVE THE UNITED STATES 10:13pm I don't know how long I've been here. I haven't seen the other abductees since I walked into the light that took us all away. I'm pretty sure Scully is worried sick about me. But she's a strong woman--I'll be back with her soon. I'm really hungry, but I try not to worry about that. They've only given me water while I've been in this room. I try to dream about Scully, but it's very difficult to even picture her face right now. I think they've been drugging my water, as I seem to be sleeping a lot. To pass the time, I start to count backwards from 100, and when I got to 58, I heard them coming back to my room. The room was very dim, so I never really got a good look at them. They wheeled a table into the room, picked me up off the floor, and placed me on it. They started to take my clothes off. Once they were all removed, they strapped me down. When one of them reached for Scully's cross, I pleaded with them. "Please, do whatever you want to me, but PLEASE don't take the cross! It's all I have left of her! I'm begging you, please don't take the cross!" I squirmed on the table, trying to get free. They don't know how important that cross is to me. I had to tell them. "Please, that cross was given to me by someone I'm close to. Someone I love. I'm asking you again--please *don't take it*!" Just then I felt another presence in the room, one that wasn't there a few minutes ago. I heard a loud, booming voice say: "As you wish, Mr. Mulder. If that's what you *really* want, I'll let you keep it." Shocked at this, I looked straight into the eyes of the Alien Bounty Hunter, and several more of them, who lined up behind him. I guess he was the head honcho. "What do I have to do now?" "You don't have to do anything, Mr. Mulder. You're going to be here for quite a while, so you might as well get used to it." I didn't like the sound of that. For the first time since I arrived here, I was truly scared for my life. The ABHs all gathered around the table, and put their hands on my naked flesh. I felt a burning sensation go through my entire body. I couldn't do anything, so I did the next best thing. I called out for you. "Scully! Scully! Scully..." *To Be Continued...* COME BACK TO ME II: SEARCH & RESCUE By mulder42 PART TEN: THE NIGHTMARES XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX FRIDAY, OCTOBER 27th The next two weeks were uneventful. I came in to work, did my few hours with the BSU, then ran over to the gunmen's for the latest updates. Still nothing. I was getting restless, and I fought going to sleep at night. I knew what would happen if I did. I'd wake up from a terrible nightmare, with the sheets soaking wet. I know this wasn't good for me, or the baby, but what was I going to do? I've got to sleep sometime. Luckily, I was only working half days now, so I would go home and try to get a nap in, which helped me greatly. It just seemed that at night, after I wrote Mulder's letter, and blew out the candle, I got really tense. I can't explain it. Sometimes I could swear I feel Mulder's presence in my bedroom. That's where I spend most of my time now. I try to do just about everything there--eat, read, write Mulder's letter, watch TV, or listen to the radio. Yesterday, the Yankees beat the Mets in game 5 to win the World Series. Mulder was right; he said they'd win it again this year. I recorded all five games, so they'll be waiting for him when he gets back. On Saturday, I spent the entire day in bed. I thought about our vacation in Chicago. We had so much fun together, starting our romantic relationship. He looked so handsome in his tuxedo that night we went on our first date. He gave me a gold bracelet at dinner. I've been wearing it everyday, ever since Mulder's been gone. When I went to bed that night, I felt really relaxed. I felt so good that I put on my purple nightgown after I wrote Mulder's letter. I haven't worn it since that night--the night our child was conceived. August 24th. It rained that night, and I was angry at something Mulder had said to me at the office. He came over to apologize; one thing led to another, and voila!--a miracle. Our little miracle is growing stronger everyday. I haven't told anyone yet, but I'll have to soon. xxxxxxx SUNDAY, OCTOBER 29th 1:45am He told me that he wanted me, and I shivered. The slightest touch from him made my skin blush. When he kissed me, he took my breath away. He always does. He slipped the straps of my gown down over my shoulders, and told me that he wished our first time would be in my bed, and now the wish was coming true. He showed me how much he loved me that night. Afterwards, we lay in each other's arms, reveling in the feelings we just shared. Everything was so perfect, and then it got dark. Mulder disappeared. I called out for him--I knew he was near. I could feel him all around me, and he was in pain. He called out to me, "They're hurting me. Help me, Scully!" "I will, darling, I will," I say, as I try to reach out to him. I see him in the distance, and try to get closer, but it's no use. 'They' are taking him away from me, and I can't catch them. Mulder screams my name, "Scully! Scully! Don't let them take me away from you..." I woke up, thinking this would be a good night for a change. xxxxxxx SOMEWHERE ABOVE THE UNITED STATES 3:30am I'm sore all over, and I can't move. I just woke up from a terrible nightmare. I called out for Scully, and she approached me, out of the darkness, a heavenly angel, dressed all in white. When she reached me, she gently touched my face, told me to close my eyes, and in a few minutes it would feel better. I thought back to an early morning neck and shoulder rub in a Chicago hospital room, and I smiled. Scully can always make the pain go away. I closed my eyes, and when I opened them again, Scully was gone, replaced by the Alien Bounty Hunter. Somehow, they had gotten inside my head. I screamed for her again, and woke up, as I have for the last I don't know how many days, on a cold floor, naked, and in the dark. I don't know how they get in my head, but I wish they would let me have this one thing to myself. I want to dream about Scully, but they rip my dreams away from me. I asked ABH #1--I had started calling him #1--if they could just stay out of my mind. He replied, "Well, Mr. Mulder, we already let you keep Agent Scully's cross. You're in no position to make any demands of us..." And then he and the rest of his 'brothers' poked and prodded me. The pain was unbearable, and I called out for Scully. I keep hoping that one day she'll hear me... xxxxxxx WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 1st LABORATORY OF DR. CHARLES BURKS UNIVERSITY OF MARYLAND COLLEGE PARK, MD 8:32am "Agent Scully, how nice to see you. Where's Mulder?" "That's why I'm here, Chuck. I've come to tell you Mulder's missing. He's been abducted." "When did this happen?" "The early morning of September 30th. I know you two were friends...excuse me, *are& friends, and I thought you should know." "Thanks for telling me, Agent Scully. You'll tell me when you find him?" "Of course! And please, call me Dana." "Sure. Dana, if you need anything--don't hesitate to call. Here's my card. I'll put my home number on the back." "Thanks, Chuck. You know, when I first met you five years ago, I thought you were full of it. But after all the things I've seen with Mulder, I can see why he trusted your judgment on all things paranormal." "Thanks, Dana. I appreciate that." He hugged me before I left. It was totally unexpected. Before I made it to my car, I suddenly started to feel lightheaded. I knew why--I didn't have breakfast today. I drove straight home, and had a small meal. I told Skinner earlier that I was taking the day off. I really didn't feel up to it today. I had another nightmare, and it really shook me up, more than the others. I don't want to worry Mulder, so I don't tell him about this in my letters. The rest of the week went by slowly. The gunmen still say they've come up with nothing. They gave me the web addresses of some UFO abduction sites, and I've been checking them every couple of days. I keep thinking there's something we've missed. Even Skinner goes back to Oregon every couple of weeks to look for clues. I ask him to let me come, but he always says no. I told him I was pregnant on Monday morning, and he's been treating me with kid gloves ever since. I think it may be because he feels guilty that Mulder got taken, and that he feels he let me down somehow. That he should have been able to protect him. I invited him over to set him straight when he got back. I told him that now was not the time to place blame, or feel guilty. Mulder needed our help, and we can only help him if we do it together. He agreed, and said he'd take me to Oregon next time. He also took me off my transfer assignment with Behavioral Sciences, and put me back full- time on the X-Files. He told me that I just got a new partner--himself--temporarily, until Mulder's found. For the first time in a very long time, I slept through the entire night. I sure hope Mulder's sleeping somewhere peaceful, too. *To Be Continued...* COME BACK TO ME II: SEARCH & RESCUE By mulder42 PART ELEVEN: SOMEWHERE OUT THERE XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Somewhere out there Beneath the pale moonlight Someone's thinking of me And loving me tonight Somewhere out there Someone's saying a prayer That we'll find one another In that big somewhere out there And even though I know How very far apart we are It helps to think We might be wishing On the same bright star And when the night wind Starts to sing A lonesome lullaby It helps to think We're sleeping Underneath the same big sky Somewhere out there If love can see us through Then we'll be together Somewhere out there Out where dreams come true And even though I know How very far apart we are It helps to think We might be wishing On the same bright star And when the night wind Starts to sing A lonesome lullaby It helps to think We're sleeping Underneath the same big sky Somewhere out there If love can see us through Then we'll be together Somewhere out there Out where dreams come true... TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 7th MULDER'S APARTMENT 8:00am I'm at Mulder's apartment. It's my first time here since he's been gone. I wanted to come so many times, but I've been so scared. When I unlocked the door with my key, I just stood there in the doorway with my eyes closed for a few minutes. I don't know why I'm so nervous to be here. I opened my eyes and walked inside, looking at everything, trying to take it all in. I fed his fish, and sat down on the couch. Images of him flashed in my mind. I slowly started to relax, until I saw an image of Mulder strapped to a table, with a look of desperation on his face, calling out to me. I jumped up, shaking these terrible visions away. I ran to the bathroom, feeling sick to my stomach. There was a cup on the sink, and I filled it with cold water, taking a slow drink. Somehow, I managed to keep my breakfast down. I took some deep breaths, trying to calm myself. I looked in the mirror, and I didn't like what I saw. I looked so tired. I was still feeling a little queasy, so I went to the bedroom to lie down. I walked inside, and turned on the lamp. I saw Mulder's New York Knicks t-shirt on the pillow. I picked it up, brought it to my nose, and inhaled. It smelled just like him. I couldn't hold the tears back any longer. "Oh, Mulder, where are you?" I lay down, clutching his shirt, and continued to silently cry. I put my hands on my stomach, wondering how I'm going to live like this. Without Mulder here, it's unbearable. I closed my eyes, and in a few minutes, I was asleep. 2:15pm I woke up, hearing my phone ring. I sat up, and dug it out of my pocket. "Scully." "It's Skinner. What happened, Agent? Long line at the polling place?" "Sir?" "Did you forget that today's Election Day?" "What? Oh, guess I forgot." "You also forgot to come in today." "Sorry, sir. I'm over at Mulder's. I fell asleep." "How are you?" "I'm fine, sir. I'll leave right now." "Don't bother coming in to the office today." "Why not?" "The gunmen got a lead." "Where?" "I don't want to talk about it over the phone. Go home and pack a bag. I'll pick you up there." "But sir, I need to know!" "Can you be ready in an hour?" "Yes." "Good. Be waiting for me." He hung up. I wanted to talk to the gunmen myself, but I'm pretty sure they wouldn't talk to me on the phone either. I quickly drove home and packed. I paced my apartment in a nervous panic. I had to talk to someone about this, so I called my mother. She wasn't home, so I left a message. "Mom. No news on Mulder. I really need to talk to you. I'm going out of town for a while, so I'll have to tell you when I get back. It's very important that I tell you face- to-face. It concerns both me and Mulder. I'll talk to you soon." I looked out the window, and saw Skinner pull up in his car. I grabbed my bag, locked the door, and ran down three flights of stairs. I met him before he could get out of the car. "Sir, what's the news?" "Get in. We've got a flight to Portland in 90 minutes." "Portland--Maine or Oregon?" "Oregon. The guys were checking the websites again. Someone posted on a message board that they were picking up some activity in a forest preserve." "What kind of activity?" "Some kind of weird flashing lights at nighttime." "Do they think it could be a spacecraft?" "They're not sure. That's why we're going to check it out." "Sir, he's been gone over a month." "I know. Don't get your hopes up, Agent Scully. It may be nothing." I didn't say another word, as he drove us to the airport. Once we were on the plane, Skinner asked me how I was doing. "As well as I can be, sir." "And the baby?" "Everything's fine. I'll be three months in a couple of weeks." We didn't say anything else during the flight. When we got there, it was after seven o'clock. Skinner got us a couple of rooms at a nearby motel. He told me to take it easy for a few hours, as the lights hadn't been spotted until after 10pm. So I paced my room, channel surfed, and listened to the radio, nervously waiting until we could go out to the forest. 10:37pm The drive took longer than I had hoped. Skinner checked the directions he had received from the gunmen to make sure we were in the right place. We walked about a mile until we reached a clearing. When we got there, we saw burn marks on the ground. They seemed to go off in all directions, so we split up to look around more. After 15 minutes, we met back up at the clearing. "See anything?" "No. How about you?" "Not a damn thing. I'm sorry, Agent Scully. Looks like there's nothing to this information I received..." Just then, we heard a loud humming. We pointed our flashlights in the direction where we thought it was coming. Then the lights in the sky started. We saw nothing. The lights just circled around us, then disappeared after five minutes. "No! Don't go now!" "Agent Scully!" "They've got him, sir." "Who is 'they', Agent?" "I think we both know, sir, though we might have a hard time believing it ourselves. It's the aliens, sir." "OK, so they've got him. What do they want with him?" "I don't think you really want to know, sir." We looked around a few more minutes, before heading back to the motel. I had a funny feeling in the pit of my stomach before we left. I couldn't put my finger on it, but it felt like Mulder was very close by. I felt him very close to me. What could I do? Skinner and I looked on the ground thoroughly; the lights in the sky are gone. Where can he be? "Mulder, if you're out here, please give me a sign!" I said a prayer for him, before going to bed. xxxxxxx WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 8th SOMEWHERE OVER PORTLAND, OR 12:13am It's been an hour since I've seen her. Scully was with Skinner, obviously looking for me. I screamed at them, but of course they couldn't hear me. We were hovering right above them. Why couldn't they see us? She looked so tired. They both did. I'm surprised that the 'brothers' actually let me see them. After I screamed at them, they started to punch and kick me until I fell unconscious. I woke up a few minutes ago, just one big ache. I could really go for a shower right now. I don't even want to imagine what I look like. I'm bloody all over, I'm cold, and I'm hungry. It's been hours since they've given me anything to eat. I had a moldy piece of bread and a small cup of water. It was the most delicious meal I've had in quite a long time. Of course, being half delirious probably helped. I can't get the image of Scully out of my mind. I'm glad she's okay. I'm glad that she's out there, searching. I'm also glad that she had Skinner with her. I don't think she could do this alone. I tried to get into a comfortable position, so I could get a few hours sleep. I've gotten used to sleeping on a cold, hard, floor without any clothes. As I drifted off, my last thoughts were of Scully, wearing that lavender dress on our first date in Chicago. "Don't worry, darling. We'll be together soon..." xxxxxxx 3:17am "Oh! Mulder!" I woke up from another nightmare, clutching my chest. I jumped out of bed, and ran to the bathroom. I splashed some cold water on my face. I quickly got dressed, then went to Skinner's door, knocking frantically. "Sir? Sir!" "What is it, Agent Scully?" "Nothing, sir. I just...I had a bad dream." "Want to talk about it?" "No! I'm sorry, sir. I just want to get some fresh air." "Give me a few minutes." I looked up at the sky. Mulder is there. I can feel it. "Scully?" "Yes?" "How long have you had them?" "Excuse me?" "The dreams--how long?" "Oh, it started a couple weeks after Mulder disappeared." "Should I start worrying about you? Dana?" "No, sir, I'm fine." "You don't look fine." "No offense, sir, but you don't look too great, either." "OK, we've both been through hell. What are we gonna do about it?" "Just find Mulder. Then I can start breathing again. He's somewhere out there, sir. And we have to find him." He squeezed my shoulder before going back to his room. I continued to look up at the sky, hoping I could make a connection with him. "Mulder, you once told me about starlight. You told me that you saw it with your sister Samantha. If things don't work out, and you can't come back, I want you to go there, where you'll be safe. Just know that I love you, Mulder. That will never change." xxxxxxx THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 23rd MARGARET SCULLY RESIDENCE 4:00pm Thanksgiving Day. I don't feel much like giving thanks. I told my mother about the pregnancy when I got back home from Oregon. She was so excited. She's been calling me everyday to check on me. I'm trying not to let her smother me. My mother thought it would be nice to invite a friend over to share dinner with us. It turned out to be Assistant Director Walter Skinner. "Sir, what are you doing here?" "I was invited. And let's skip the formalities for today. You can call me Walter." "Alright, sir--I mean, Walter." It felt kind of strange calling my boss by his first name, but my mother seemed to have no problem with it. Dinner turned out wonderful. We told stories about Mulder. It didn't seem right at first, but I became more comfortable as the night went on. It felt good to talk about him with other people. Once we were alone again, she asked me about the baby. "Everything's fine, Mom. I'm keeping my appointments with the doctor, and the baby's healthy." "That's good. I've got to go shopping for a few things. Another grandchild in the family!" "Mom! I don't want you to start spoiling this baby." "But that's what grandmothers are for, Dana..." I let her have her fun. Besides, we never thought I'd be able to have a child again. Might as well enjoy it. I'd enjoy it more if Mulder were here. *To Be Continued...* "Somewhere Out There" is by Linda Ronstadt & James Ingram, from the AN AMERICAN TAIL movie soundtrack. COME BACK TO ME II: SEARCH & RESCUE By mulder42 PART TWELVE: ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT I LOVE YOU XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 30th X-FILES OFFICE 7:05am Another week goes by, and still no news. I went down to the office and found Skinner there, holding Mulder's nameplate. "Sir? Is something wrong?" "No. Just thinking." I took the nameplate from him, and walked over to a filing cabinet, clutching it to my breast. "Any news?" "No. Dana, how do you do it?" "Do what, sir?" "Go on, like this." "I have to, sir. I've got no other choice." "Do you ever wonder if we never find him?" "I try not to, sir, but it's very hard. Some days are very difficult to stay positive." "Hang in there. I've got some paperwork to finish. You'll be okay down here by yourself?" "I'll be fine, sir." He left. I had been holding Mulder's nameplate so tightly, it made red marks on my hands. I walked over to his desk and sat down. "Oh, Mulder...I miss you so much!" I knew I was going to break down, but I stopped myself. I opened his drawer, and was about to put the nameplate inside, when I thought better of it. What am I doing? If I put that away, I'll be shutting Mulder out of my life! How can I be thinking this way? "Mulder, I'm so sorry. I don't know what I was thinking..." I was ashamed at my behavior. I was about to leave the office when the phone rang. I rushed back in to get it. "Scully." "Dana? What's wrong?" "I almost did something terrible, Mom!" "What is it, dear?" "No, I can't tell you..." "Nonsense! I want you to stay right there at the office. I was going to tell you to come over here, but I don't like the way you sound." "Mom! I'm at work--I can't leave now!" "Yes, you can. Walter called me a few minutes ago. He said you looked troubled." "*Mother!* What did he say to you?" "He said you looked tired, and that I should talk to you." "I'm fine." "I know that's not true, Dana. The man you love is gone..." "Mom, please! Don't say anymore!" "I'm coming over there, so just wait for me." "Mom, I don't know how much longer I can do this. I feel myself slowly unraveling a little bit more everyday. I can't do this anymore..." "Dana! Please don't talk like that! You're scaring me." "I can't do this anymore..." "Dana! Dana, listen to me. Walter said you could take the rest of the day off. Now you just sit tight and wait for me. I'm coming straight over there. Dana? Dana!" "Yes. I heard you, Mom. I'll be waiting for you." She hung up. I don't know what's happening to me. I put my head on the desk, and took some deep breaths. I felt like I was on the verge of a collapse. Like I was having a nervous breakdown. I waited for my mother to arrive. xxxxxxx SOMEWHERE ABOVE THE UNITED STATES 8:06am "Scully!" I jumped off the cold floor. I could feel her so close. She was in pain. She's worrying too much about me. It's tearing her up inside. I've got to get back to her! I sat back down on the floor, bringing my knees to my chest, and rocking back and forth. I've got to get out of here! But I have no idea of where I am. I'm also very weak--I don't know how I could possibly make any kind of escape. I'll have to think about this later. My new 'friends' have arrived. "Please, just let me go." "You know I can't do that, Mr. Mulder." "Scully needs me." "Why? All this--its nothing she hasn't been through herself..." That made me really angry. I jumped up, running towards him in a rage. "You bastard! Don't talk about her like that!" I tried to get my hands around his neck, but his brothers grabbed me, and held me back. "Where is everyone else? What have you done to them?" "That's quite a temper you have, Mr. Mulder, and I don't think I like it very much. We'll have to do something about that." Once again, a table was brought in, with some type of machine. They strapped me down, and started putting electrodes on my face and chest. "What are you doing? *Why* are you doing this to me?" "Because we can, Mr. Mulder." And with that, #1 switched on the machine, and I felt jolts of electricity course through my entire body. I tried to stay awake, but soon I felt myself falling unconscious... xxxxxxx X-FILES OFFICE 9:00am "Mulder!" "No, Dana. It's your mother." I grabbed her tightly. "Oh, God, Mom! They're hurting him! He's in so much pain..." "Dana, it was just a dream." "I know, but trust me. I know what they do to you!" "Dana, listen to me. Fox will be fine." "How do you know?" "I have faith. Look, Dana, I want you to come to church with me. We can talk to Father McCue." "No! I can't. I'm really angry right now. I'm afraid of what I would say to him." "Alright. I'll take you home." "Do you mind if we go to your place instead?" "No, sweetheart. You look so tired, Dana. Are you getting enough sleep?" "No. I have terrible nightmares. They never seem to go away." "OK, I'll tell you what we'll do. We're going to your apartment first. You're going to pack a bag, and you're going to stay with me a few days. You've got to take care of yourself, Dana. The baby..." I knew she was right, so I didn't argue with her. She held my hands. "You know, Dana, you've worked with Fox for almost eight years now, and I've never been to your office. I like it, especially this 'I Want To Believe' poster. Did you give it to him?" "No." I didn't really want to tell her about Karin Berquist, so I skipped over that part of the story. "The original got destroyed when the office got burned down. A friend sent him this replacement." "Do you believe, Dana?" "Believe what?" "That you'll find him?" "Sometimes I do, and other times...I don't like to think about the other times." "Let's get out of here." We went to Skinner's office to let him know my plans, before leaving the building. My mother followed me home in her car. I got to my apartment, and quickly packed. I put my notebooks, pens, pictures, and candle on top of my clothes. I couldn't wait to get out of here. xxxxxxx SUNDAY, DECEMBER 24th 9:05am Christmas Eve. This is so depressing. I got presents for Mulder, but I didn't get a tree this year. I didn't feel in the spirit for it. My mother called earlier; just her usual check-up on me and the baby. She wanted me to come over tomorrow and spend the day with her. I refused. I wanted that day to myself. Almost three months he's been gone. SUNDAY, DECEMBER 31st 10:13pm "Oh! Mulder!" I woke up from another nightmare. I had hoped I would sleep soundly into a new year. I don't want to think about a year ago, and my first kiss with Mulder. Who would've ever guessed how the year would end? He's still gone, and no new evidence has been gathered. I looked out my window. It had started to lightly snow. "Happy New Year, Mulder, wherever you are. I sure hope you're okay. If only you were here right now. I'd take you in my arms, and..." xxxxxxx TUESDAY, JANUARY 9th, 2001 X-FILES OFFICE 6:59am "Scully!" "Agent Scully, it's Skinner. I need to see you in my office. Right away!" "Sir, what is it?" "The gunmen have a lead. A pretty good lead, from what they've shown me." "But I've been checking the websites, too. I haven't seen anything." "They've only picked up lots of activity earlier this morning." "Tell me, is it Mulder?" "Just come to my office ASAP, Agent." He hung up, and I ran out of the office. SKINNER'S OFFICE 7:15am I took a deep breath, before his secretary let me in. My hands were shaking, and I felt faint. I got right to the point and asked him. "Is it him, sir? Is it Mulder? Please tell me!" "Have a seat, Agent. I want you to calm down." He came around the desk, and sat in the chair next to mine. The chair Mulder usually sits in. Suddenly, I felt nauseous. I closed my eyes. "There's been sightings all across the United States. The gunmen seem to think that we should go to Washington State. The message board has been active all morning with sightings." "Of what, sir?" "Right now, it's hard to say, but they've been asking the posters for details of what they've seen, just to be sure." "And?" "And, they think it's a sure thing. We should go. Are you okay?" "I will be once we go check it out. When do we leave?" "Hopefully, very soon. I called the airline, and I'm waiting for a call back, for confirmation on the flight time." "OK, I'll go home and pack." I got up to leave. "Agent Scully?" "Yes, sir?" "Are you sure you're alright?" "I'm fine, sir." I ran out of the office, and to the elevator. I went straight to my car, and drove home. I couldn't believe it. This must be it--it has to be. We're going to find him! WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 10th SEATTLE, WA 1:07am There was a delay here, due to the weather. Seattle was hit by a major snowstorm. There was nothing we could do now but get a hotel room, and wait it out a few hours, until we can start our search. Skinner told me to try and get some sleep. xxxxxxx SOMEWHERE OVER SEATTLE, WA 4:37am "Scully!" I woke up from one of the worst nightmares I've had since I've been here. I'm so weak, and I've lost a lot of weight. In my dream, Scully had found my lifeless body in a field. It was too late. I was already dead. She screamed, the most awful scream I've ever heard. I don't want my life to end this way. I just want to see Scully one more time. I tried to lift my body from the floor. All of a sudden, a bright light appeared in the room. It was blinding me. I put up my hand to block it. This had to be a hallucination. I saw my sister Samantha. She was 14 years old, just like when I saw her last in the starlight. I reached out to her, even though the light hurt my eyes. "Sam? Is it really you?" "Yes, Fox, it's your sister." "This can't be. You're not real. This is all a bad dream." "Listen to me, Fox. She's here. She's so close." "Who's here?" "It's Dana, Fox. She's here looking for you. I need you to hold on for her. She'll be lost without you." "What do you mean?" "She needs you now, Fox. I can't explain it all to you. She'll have to do that herself. Promise me, Fox. No matter what happens--you have to stay strong. It's very important that you do." "I promise, Sam. But I'm so tired..." I heard the door opening, and Samantha disappeared. "No, don't go!" "Who are you talking to, Mr. Mulder?" They probably wouldn't believe me if I told them, so I stayed silent. Once again, his brothers came, and placed me on a table. I saw a tray next to me, with long knives, and a big drill on it. I started to get really scared. I thought about what my sister said. I had to stay strong, no matter what. I continued to stay silent. "Just one more experiment, Mr. Mulder," #1 said. "Before we let you go." My heart leapt into my throat. I can see Scully again, very soon! I prepared myself for whatever was about to happen. The drill floated off the tray, and started to hover over my chest, before it came down, and plunged into me. The pain was excruciating. Then the rest of the brothers came inside, picked a knife off the tray, and started to stab me all over my body. I closed my eyes, hoping the torture would soon be over. I wanted to see Scully so badly. It seemed to take forever. Afterwards, they left me somewhere in the snow, I think. I had no idea where I was. I was so cold. I started to call out for you. "Scull-lee..." xxxxxxx 6:45am "Dana, he's here. He needs you. More than ever before--he needs you now!" "Missy, tell me where he is! I need to know!" "He's so close, Dana. Look inside yourself--don't you feel him?" "Yes, but I don't know..." "You have to be strong for him, Dana." "I'm trying, Melissa, I truly am. It's been so hard these past months." "You're the only one who can bring him back. Your love, it's the only thing that matters..." I woke up, and quickly got dressed. My phone rang, just as I finished brushing my teeth. "Scully!" "Agent Scully, I think you need to get down here. We're searching now." "Searching with who?" "Agents from the local field office." "Why didn't you wake me, sir?" "I felt you needed the sleep." "Sir! I thought we were supposed to be doing this together." "I know, but now is not the time for an argument. Get a pen and paper and write this down..." I jotted down his instructions and jumped in the car. He was ten miles away, on a rural abandoned farm. I drove as fast as I could, on the snowy road. 8:03am I made it here, but I didn't see anyone. All I saw were three cars, standard FBI issue sedans. I got out and started walking, the snow crunching under my boots. After five minutes, I saw Skinner coming towards me. "Is it him? Tell me!" "We found him a few minutes ago, but--" "Show me where he is!" "Agent Scully, it's too late..." "No! It can't be! Tell me where he is!" He grabbed my hand, and we ran to an empty barn. There was a big hole in the roof. Mulder's lifeless body was on the ground, naked, lying in a mound of snow. I stopped, and looked at him. "Oh, my God! Those bastards! They just dump him out here like a piece of garbage!" I ran to him, and knelt down in the snow. I could feel the cold going right through my jeans, but I didn't care. I had to help Mulder! The agents that came with Skinner just kept looking around, anywhere but on the ground. "He needs a blanket. Agent Mulder is cold. Are any of you listening to me? He needs a blanket!" "Agent Scully!" "No! He's not dead, dammit! He's going to live!" I checked for a pulse. It was very faint, but it was there. What did they do to him? He was just skin and bones. It looked like he had lost at least fifty pounds. His eyes were swollen shut. There were cut marks and abrasions all over his body. His head was full of bruises, and there was a nasty gash in the middle of his chest. "We have to get him to a hospital! Has anyone called for paramedics?" "No, Dana, it's too late..." "*Walter!* You're not listening to me. If you're not going to help me, the least you can do is pick up your phone, and call for help!" One of the other agents came back with a blanket. I told them all to go back to their cars, and give Agent Mulder and myself some privacy. "Scully?" "I'll be alright, sir. Please..." "OK, you heard the lady--back to the vehicles. Wait for the paramedics, and show them here when they arrive." Skinner walked back towards the trees outside the barn, and waited. Now I could concentrate totally on Mulder. I covered him with the blanket. "Mulder, can you hear me?" His pulse was still faint, and I continued to talk to him. After a couple of minutes, he started to stir. He tried to open his tightly closed eyes. "Scully..." "Mulder! So long I waited to hear your voice again." I touched his face, as he started to cry. I wiped his tears away. "Mulder, please don't cry. Whatever you've been through-- it's all over now. I'm gonna help you get better, okay?" "Hurts. Scully...hurts so much." "I know, sweetie. I know it does. There's so much I need to tell you, Mulder." "I'm...so cold." "The paramedics are on the way. They'll be here real soon." "Scully...please listen. Don't have...much time." "Mulder, don't talk like that! We've got time now. You're going to be *fine!*" His voice started to fade. No, Mulder--not now... "Dana," he rasped, "love you...never change..." He stopped talking. No! "Mulder? Mulder! Please say something!" I heard Skinner come running into the barn. "Agent Scully, the paramedics are coming." "Sir, no matter what's happened to him--he's going to live! Do you hear me?" "Yes, Dana, I do." They arrived, and started to stabilize him. I followed them towards the ambulance. They told us what hospital they were taking him to. "Please, I have to go with him. He's my partner!" I got inside, and held Mulder's tightly clenched hand. As we sped away, it started to snow. "Please, Mulder. If you can hear me--I told you once before to hold on. I need for you to do that again. Please hold on, Mulder..." I closed my eyes. A few minutes later, Mulder squeezed my hand back. When he let go, I looked down, and found my cross, all bloody. *To Be Continued...* COME BACK TO ME II: SEARCH & RESCUE By mulder42 PART THIRTEEN: STILL SHE CRIES XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Tears that she kept from me Somewhere there's broken dreams Where love once used to be All in a memory With time we are forgiven In time we will forget I hear her voice in the night, cries of joy We were good...good...good I still recall how we'd touch, How we'd fall, we were good...good...good... Tears that she kept from me Someone she used to be Forever yours then suddenly One kiss she can't remember I wish I could forget I hear her voice in the night, cries of joy We were good...good...good... I still recall how we'd touch, How we'd fall, we were good...good...good... Still she cries Somewhere...still she cries No one knows when lovers will walk away I hear her voice, in the night Cries of joy...we were good...good...good... Good...good... All in a memory Where our love once used to be Good...good... HARBORVIEW MEDICAL CENTER 325 NINTH AVENUE SEATTLE, WA 8:57am I'm in the ladies' room at the hospital. The doctors are working on Mulder right now. I can't believe after all this time that we actually found him. I rinse the blood off my cross, under the warm running water in the sink. Mulder was holding on to it so tightly. Like it was a lifeline. I quickly dried it off, and put it in my pocket. He would need it again. I went back to the emergency room, waiting for the doctor to give me his diagnosis. "How is he?" "I don't know yet, sir. I'm still waiting." "I'm sorry about before Agent Scully. I don't know what happened. It's just that when we saw his body in the barn, lying in the snow..." "It's okay, sir. I'm just glad that you found him in time. With him here at the hospital, he can get the proper care." I should have been in there trying to help, but I was so tired, regardless of all the sleep I got. I didn't have time to eat anything, and I'm using all my strength not to fall out right here, so I sit down in one of the chairs against the wall. Skinner sits down too, and we silently wait. 9:30am "Agent Scully and Director Skinner?" "Yes!" We both jumped out of our chairs. "I'm Dr. Collins. Have you contacted Agent Mulder's family?" "No, doctor. He has no surviving family. How is he?" "Well, for right now, it's not good. There was a lot of swelling on his brain, so we induced a coma." "No!" "This time right now is critical, but I'm fairly certain he'll be fine. I'd say he's really gone through the ringer. He has some minor frostbite burns on his legs and hands. His body is littered with cuts and bruises. Personally, I don't know how he made it. He really should be dead. That big gash on his chest--it just barely missed his heart. And, he's severely malnourished. We've got an IV in him. Also, I put him on a respirator. It will take quite a while for the scars to heal. The emotional ones might take a while longer. We're moving him to a room on the third floor. Give us a few minutes to get him settled." "Thank you, doctor." She walked back into the ER. "Mulder in a coma..." "Agent Scully, he'll pull through this." "I don't know. He's been through so much. This is too much, after that awful surgery on his brain. His body can't take all this." Nurses wheeled Mulder out of the ER. I rushed over and grabbed his hand. "Mulder, you're in the hospital. These nurses are going to take you to your room now. I'll see you in a few minutes." I had to call my mother and tell her about Mulder. "Sir?" "Yes?" "Can you stay with Mulder a few minutes, please?" "Sure. Where will you be?" "I'm going to call my mother. I just don't want him to be alone. He hates being in the hospital. I know he's in a coma, but could you talk to him until I get there?" "Of course. Don't take too long. I'm pretty sure Agent Mulder would rather hear your voice than mine." I ran down the hall to a payphone, and called my mother's number. I just hope she's there--I'd hate to leave a message on her machine... "Hello?" "Mom, it's me." "Dana! How nice to hear from you. I was just going to call you in a few minutes. I'm having breakfast right now." "Mom, are you sitting down?" "No--why?" "Please, just sit down." "Oh, my God--please don't tell me..." "Mom--we found Mulder earlier this morning in Seattle." "Is he...?" "No, Mom! He's alive, but just barely at the moment. It was just awful, Mom! He was in an old barn, just lying there in the snow..." "Did he tell you what happened?" "No. He couldn't really talk much. Oh, Mom, how can I tell him about the baby now?" "You'll know when the right time will be. Look, Dana, I'm going to come down there. Just tell me where you are..." We talked for a few more minutes before I hung up. I decided to call the gunmen and Chuck Burks as well. They seemed relieved. Time to see Mulder now. I got to the door, hearing Skinner talking to him. I couldn't make out everything, but I distinctly heard 'worried sick about you,' and 'kick your butt if you don't come out of this.' I smiled. The AD could be a tough guy, but I know that just underneath the surface, a soft spot is there. I opened the door. "So, how are things going on in here?" "Agent Scully! I'll give you and Agent Mulder some privacy. I need coffee. Would you like some?" "No thanks, though I could go for some water." "I'll be back in a few minutes." He left. Finally, I was totally alone with Mulder. I walked over to the bed, and sat down. I looked at him. What he must've been through! I touched his scarred face. "Mulder? I sure hope you can hear me. I always wondered what this day would be like, when I found you. Nothing can compare to what went through my mind when I saw you in that barn. What did they do to you? I promise you, darling-- they won't hurt you again. Ever!" I got up, and took the cross out of my jeans pocket. "I know this gave you an enormous source of strength and comfort while you were gone. I'm going to give it to you again. I love you, Mulder. That will never change." I fastened the cross around his neck, careful not to touch his respirator tube. I tried to block out that slow, beeping sound from the machine. I bent down to lightly kiss the cross, now going slightly up and down on his chest with each of those precious breaths that are being pumped into him. I sat back down, and reached for his right hand, luckily the one without the IV. "I hate to say this, Mulder, but you really need to eat something. Sorry I can't sneak a cheeseburger or something else really greasy in here, so this IV will have to do! I know this isn't as good as solid food, but just give it some time. I'll fix you whatever you want when you get out of here." "Agent Scully?" I had my eyes closed while I was speaking to Mulder, and I didn't hear Skinner come in. I jumped out of the chair, and motioned for him to step outside. "How is he?" "It'll probably be a few more hours until he comes out of the coma." "What do you think happened to him?" "I'd say he was tortured. If you don't mind my asking sir, you didn't tell Mulder about the baby, did you?" "No, Dana. I'd figure you'd want to tell him that yourself. Maybe when he was conscious?" "Yes, sir. Thank you. My mother will be here in a few hours..." "Agent Scully, have you eaten anything today?" "No, sir, I didn't have time." "I want you to go downstairs and eat something. I don't care if it's just a piece of toast. You have to take care of yourself." "I know, sir, but I can't leave Mulder right now. He needs me." "I know he does, but you have to eat. Go down to the cafeteria--that's an order!" "Okay, but please stay with him." "I will." I went as ordered. I knew Skinner was right. I have to take care of myself, and the baby. I had toast and a fruit salad. I finished the water Skinner gave me, and went back up to the third floor. 5:50pm I must've dozed off. It's almost six o'clock! I heard a light tapping on the door. I look up, and see my mother standing in the doorway. "Mom!" I ran to her, nearly collapsing in her arms. "It's okay. I'm here now. How's Fox?" "No change from when I talked to you this morning." "I prayed for this day, and now it's finally here. Walter tells me that you're not eating, Dana." "No, I just didn't eat today, before we found Mulder. He sent me to the cafeteria and I had a little something. I'm fine, Mom." "Okay. But you have to start taking care of yourself. How many times do I have to tell you that? Let Dr. Collins take care of Fox." "You met her?" "Yes. She told me that Fox is in a coma. We just have to wait it out. He'll make it, Dana." "I know, Mom. Here, have a seat. I'll get another chair from outside." My mother and I sat by Mulder's bedside, holding a silent vigil. The hours ticked by and still no change. At 9:30, I told my mother she could stay in my hotel room. I didn't want to leave Mulder's sight. She didn't want to go at first, but I finally convinced her. Skinner took her to the hotel. I had forgotten he was still here. He was right outside Mulder's room, sitting by the door. After they left, I went back inside to be alone with Mulder again. xxxxxxx THURSDAY, JANUARY 11th 12:03am I can hear her crying. She's holding my right hand, and her head is by my shoulder. I can imagine the silent tears rolling across her face--her beautiful face. I wish I could see her face now. I wish I could wake up, but I can't. I hurt all over. I'm so sorry, Scully. So sorry you had to see me like this. I knew I was a dead man, but Samantha told me to fight, so I did. I can't leave you now. It's too soon for me to go. We haven't had enough time together, Dana. I love you. When I can finally wake up, you'll know how much. xxxxxxx 8:15am Dr. Collins just finished checking Mulder. He's still not out of his coma, but I'm trying not to worry. He needs to heal, and it shouldn't be rushed. When he's ready to wake up, he will. I went back to his room and sat down beside him. I laid my head back down by his shoulder, and held his right hand. "I'm so sorry, Mulder. So sorry this had to happen to you..." I knew I was going to cry again, so I went to the window and looked outside. xxxxxxx She's crying again, but it sounds far away, like she's trying to hide it from me. Oh, Scully, please don't cry! It just kills me inside. I never want to see you in pain. Once I can open my eyes, everything will be fine. It still hurts too much. I'm trying very hard, Dana. Just try to remember how good it was between us. God, I want to hold you so badly. Just hold you in my arms... *To Be Continued...* "Still She Cries" is by Journey, from their album TRIAL BY FIRE. COME BACK TO ME II: SEARCH & RESCUE By mulder42 PART FOURTEEN: A MOTHER'S LOVE XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX SATURDAY, JANUARY 13th 6:26am There's still no change in Mulder's condition. I've been staying in his room almost constantly. I'd go back to my hotel room to get a couple hours of sleep in a bed, while Mom stayed with Mulder. She and Skinner have really been helpful. I don't know how I could ever thank them for all they've done. I had decided that I wasn't going to shed any more tears for him. Mulder needs for me to be strong right now. I talked to him everyday, mundane things. Never once did I mention the baby, though it was never far from my mind. I read the newspaper to him, watched old movies on TV with him, and still no change. I started to get worried, though I wouldn't let it show on my face. WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 17th 7:17am Dr. Collins took Mulder off the respirator yesterday, and still he hasn't woken up. I went to her after her daily examination of him. "Dr. Collins! How is he? Why hasn't he come out of his coma yet? It's been a week now." "I can't explain it, Agent Scully. It's almost like he doesn't want to wake up." "That can't be. He wouldn't..." I felt lightheaded, so I took a step backwards to sit in a nearby chair in the hallway outside Mulder's room. "Agent Scully? Are you alright?" "I'm fine. I just need to get some food in me, that's all." "How long have you been feeling like this?" "Just for the last hour or so. I guess I should tell you-- I'm pregnant." "Well, congratulations, Agent Scully! How far along are you?" "Please, call me Dana. I'll be five months a week from today, actually." "That's wonderful! Have you seen a doctor since Agent Mulder's been here?" "No! I haven't wanted to leave Mulder's bedside for too long a time." "Well, I'm going to make an appointment for you today. This is not the time to slack off on your health care. I shouldn't have to tell you this, with you being a doctor, too." "I know. I can just hear my mother telling me to take care of myself." "Your mother's a smart woman. Why don't you give her a call? She can stay with Agent Mulder while we check you." "Okay. Thanks, doctor." "No problem." 11:30am "Dana, what did the doctor say?" "He said my blood pressure's a little high, but I'm okay." "I want you to go to the hotel, Dana. Just take a couple of days to yourself. I'll watch Fox." "But, Mom..." "No buts. That's an order. You're wearing yourself out, Dana. Fox will be concerned when he wakes up and sees you like this. You're not getting enough sleep, and you should eat more." "I know, Mom. I'm just wondering what's taking him so long to wake up." "Don't worry about it. He'll wake up when he's ready to." "You sound so sure." "I know, dear. He's been through something awful. Just give it a little more time." I knew she was right. I did need to rest. I told her to call me the minute there was any change with Mulder. I spent the next few days taking some time for myself. I saw Mulder for a couple hours everyday, got lots of bed rest, and had decent meals. When Sunday arrived, I was ready to go back to his bedside full time. SUNDAY, JANUARY 21st 3:03am I dreamed. Mulder and I were flying, above the clouds. We didn't say anything to each other, just held hands, and looked at each other every few seconds. Then he vanished. He turned into my sister Melissa. She told me not to be afraid; that it wouldn't be long now before Mulder would come back to me. When I opened my eyes and looked down at him, I could swear he was smiling. Hope he's having a nice dream too. xxxxxxx 5:17am I was dreaming again. I had to be. I saw Samantha. I knew it was her, though she was older this time--all grown up. She was beautiful. "Sam, you look wonderful." "Thank you, Fox. I've come to you again because I feel that you don't want to go back to your life." "Why would I want to? That life has only brought me pain and suffering. I kind of like it here. I've decided that I don't want to go back." "You don't really mean that. What about Dana? Don't you want to go back to her?" "I do, but..." "Still being a butt-munch, aren't you?" "Sam!" "Look at yourself, Mulder! Scully needs you! I told you before. Look, Mom and Dad weren't the best parents, but they both know it's not time for you to give up on yourself." "You've...you've spoken to them?" "I have." "Can I see them?" "No, Fox. It's not your time. Go to her." "How can I?" "You will. Just give it some time. It won't be long now. I love you, big brother. I wish we could've had more time together ourselves..." After Samantha left, I tried to move any part of my body, but I couldn't. This is going to be really hard, but Sam was right. I can't sit here in limbo, half dead and half alive. I have to get back to Scully. So I continued to try to move, without success. This might take awhile... xxxxxxx TUESDAY, JANUARY 23rd 5:17pm I rushed right over to the hospital. When my mother called me, she told me to come straight here. She wouldn't tell me what was wrong, and I drove here, trying not to think of something awful. Instead, I got a pleasant surprise. "Mom! What happened?" "Dana, he moved!" "He did? When did this happen?" "Right before I called you. The fingers on his right hand twitched." "What did Dr. Collins say?" "She says this is a good sign. It's only a matter of time now, Dana." "I prayed and prayed for this day..." "I did, too. You stay with him. I'll leave you alone now. Tell him what's in your heart." "Where will you be?" "Walter is taking me out to dinner." "Oh, really? Is there something going on between you two?" "No, Dana. I'm just getting to know your boss better. He's a good man." "Yes, he is." She left. If I didn't know any better, I could swear my mother blushed! I went inside Mulder's room, sat down, and took his right hand in mine. I felt really good. I put my other hand on my stomach. I'll be showing soon. I felt movement beneath my fingers, closed my eyes, and hoped I would be feeling movement from Mulder's fingers very soon. xxxxxxx WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 24th 2:30am I don't know how long I've been trying to wake up, but I felt now was the time. I felt strong, and I felt something else. It was a hand. It could only be one person. Scully. She's been holding my right hand in hers all this time, just waiting. Patiently waiting for me. I didn't want her to wait any longer. I opened my eyes, slowly. I tried to get things into focus, but my vision was blurred. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and opened them again. I saw Scully, asleep. She was wearing a purple sweater, and her left hand was over her stomach. She was radiant. I squeezed her hand, and tried to speak. "Scul-ly..." xxxxxxx I felt pressure on my hand, and woke up immediately. I saw Mulder looking at me, trying very hard not to cry. "Mulder! Tell me this is not a dream!" "It's not," he whispered back. "I'm...very thirsty." I got up and poured him a cup of water that was on the table. I placed a straw in it, and told him to drink slowly. After he was finished, he told me that he missed me. "I missed you too, Mulder." "Something looks different about you." I sat down quickly, and reached for his hand. I hope he couldn't tell how anxious I've become. "Mulder, please don't cry." "I can't help myself..." I wiped his tears away, brought his hand up to my mouth, and kissed it. "Your skin...so smooth. And mine...mine is so..." "No, don't say it Mulder. I have to call for Dr. Collins. She needs to check you out." "Hmm, a lady doctor?" "Yes, Mulder. She's very good. I want you to be a good boy while she examines you, okay? I love you." "Love you, too." I placed my hand on his cheek, then got up to go to the nurses' station to call Dr. Collins. "I'll be right back." "Not going anywhere." I winked at him, and left. xxxxxxx 7:00am After getting examined by Dr. Collins, Scully came back in to see me. She hasn't left my side. I get the impression that she's afraid to leave. She told me that she had called her mother, and that she would be over later to see me. I couldn't wait to see her. I wanted to thank her for looking after Scully. "Scully?" "Mmm, yes, Mulder?" "How long was I gone?" "Let's not talk about that now. We can discuss all that later. I'm just so happy you're back." "I am, too. When does Margaret get here?" "So impatient! She'll be here soon." "I want to thank her." "For what?" "For believing in me, when I didn't believe in myself." "Oh, Mulder..." "No, it's okay. I just want to say that I heard all of you. You, your mother, even Skinner. I want to tell you, Scully. I saw my sister..." "Tell me later, Mulder. Just close your eyes, and before you know it, my mother will be here. You need your rest." And with that, she laid her head down on my stomach. She closed her eyes and sighed. "What is it?" "I can't wait to get my arms around you, Mulder." I put my hand on her head, running my fingers through her hair. She was asleep a few minutes later. Looks like she needs the rest more than I do. xxxxxxx 9:15am "Dana and Fox! Oh, I'm so happy right now!" "Hi, Margaret. How are you?" "Shouldn't I be asking you that question?" "I feel good. I really feel good, now that you're here. I'd like to talk to you." "I'll just leave you two alone." "You don't have to go, Dana." "I know, but I will. I think Mulder would like to talk to you in private." "You read my mind, Scully." I smiled at him, and motioned my mother outside the room. "You haven't told him yet, have you?" "No, I haven't. I'm trying to find the right time. I'll go get some breakfast, and leave you some time alone with him." "But, Dana..." "It's okay. Mulder's waiting for you." I left her alone, and went downstairs to the cafeteria. xxxxxxx I waited anxiously for Margaret to come back inside my room. I had so much to say to her. "Fox? Can I come in?" "Of course, Margaret. How's my favorite second Scully woman?" "I'm great, now. My prayers have finally been answered." I reached out my hand to her, and she gladly took it. "Fox..." "Wait, before you go on, let me say this first. I'd just like to thank you. I heard you telling me how you prayed with Father McCue while I was gone." "I tried to get Dana to go to church with me, but she refused." "I know. You told me that she was very angry at God." "Yes, she was. I don't think she's so angry now." "I'd also like to thank you for watching over Dana. I know this must have been hard for her." "I just did what any mother would do for her daughter." "A mother's love is very important." "Yes. Fox, I know that you weren't able to settle the differences between you and your mother. Teena was her name, right?" "Yes..." "Dana told me a little about her. I'm sorry, Fox." "Don't be. I've made my peace with it now. What's important right now is Scully." "I'm sure she would say the most important thing is you." "I know. She worries too much." "Can you blame her?" "No, I guess I can't." I heard a knock on the door. It had to be Scully. "Can I come in?" "Of course. How are you?" "Fine. I just had breakfast." "What I wouldn't give for a really greasy cheeseburger right now." "So, you *did* hear me while I was talking to you." "Yes, but I guess it'll be a while before I can manage that." "You're right." "Well, I guess I'd better get going." "Mom, you don't have to go." "I know, but I want you two to have some time to yourselves." "Yeah, I think you're right, Margaret. I'm feeling a little tired." "Okay, that's my cue." Before she left, she bent down, kissed me on the forehead, and said: "Go to sleep, my darling boy." I closed my eyes, and stifled a gasp. "Fox--what is it?" "What you just said. My mother used to say that to me when I was a little boy." She didn't say anything else, just smiled and left the room. *To Be Continued...in Come Back To Me III*