TITLE:  As It Might Have Been (1/6)
AUTHOR:  Dyann Zimmerman
RATING: R/NC-17
CLASSIFICATION:  MSR; Sc/Other; Sc/M; AU; RST
SPOILERS:  First Season, episode by lovely episode!
SUMMARY:  What if Ethan was never edited from the Pilot
episode?  What actually happened between the scenes we
saw?  Tune in and find the true smutty story.
DISCLAIMERS:  Please sue me!!!  I would love my 15
minutes.
FEEDBACK:  Most of it welcomed at philer@onemain.com.
The rest of it is deleted.

AS IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN- Pt. 1
**********************************************
DANA SCULLY'S APARTMENT
GEORGETOWN
6:07am

"Ethan... let go of me... I've got to be on time today. I've got a
meeting," she said, trying not all that heartily to get out of his
grasp.  He continued to hold on to her, his arms around her middle,
his leg over hers, essentially pinning her to the bed from behind.

"Mmmm...  Come on, Dana.  Just another 10 minutes," he said, nuzzling
her hair.  "You feel so good...  and it's cold outside of this bed."  
She laughed slightly, rubbing her hands over his at her waist, before
turning onto her back to look at him.  "You're nervous about this
meeting, aren't you?" he asked her, the tender concern in his voice
making her smile.

"Yeah, I guess I am," she said as she wrapped her arms around him,
facing him, snuggling closer to his body.  "I just don't understand
it, Ethan.  I get this call late yesterday telling me a Section Chief
wants to see me in his office at the Hoover building first thing this
morning.  What am I supposed to think?"

"He's probably going to give you another commendation or something,
Dana.  Don't be so pessimistic," he said to her, kissing the end of
her nose, rubbing his hands over her back. "Dana, no matter what it
is, all I can think about right now is having you all to myself, lying
together on the beach.  I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward
to this weekend," he said, kissing her neck before covering her mouth
with a more passionate kiss.

"Me, too, Ethan," she said, looking at him, wiping his hair back from
his forehead.  "We've been way too stressed lately. We need this time
alone...  for ourselves...  she finished, kissing him lightly before
moving to get out of bed.  "Go ahead and sleep.  I'll wake you when I
get out of the shower."

J. EDGAR HOOVER BUILDING
WASHINGTON, DC
9:04am
"Agent Scully, thank you for coming on such short notice,"
Section Chief Blevins said to her, signaling for her to sit.
"We see you've been with us just over two years?"

"Yes, sir," she answered, hoping her inward apprehension was not
outwardly apparent to the three men she was facing.

After a bit of small talk about her background, the other man in the
room asked a question that seemed a bit odd, "Are you familiar with an
agent named Fox Mulder?"

She knew of him, by reputation only, but had heard a few stories about
him and was faintly familiar with his reputation as an outcast, a lone
wolf who pursued strange cases within the FBI.  She wasn't the
water-cooler, gossip-type, so beyond that, she really knew very
little.

"Are you familiar with the so-called 'X-Files'?" Blevins asked.  She
did become aware of the weird presence of the man in the room,
skulking in the background, smoking a cigarette, but saying nothing.  
He gave her an odd feeling. As a matter of fact, the whole meeting was
giving her an odd feeling.  Then it came.

"The reason you are here, Agent Scully, is we want you to assist Agent
Mulder on these X-Files.  You will write field reports on your
activities along with your observations on the validity of the work."  
Her heart sank.  All of the thoughts about what this meeting might
bring for her career, instead, turned into what this meeting was going
to do to it.

"Am I to understand that you want me to debunk the X-Files project,
sir?"

"Agent Scully, we trust you'll make the proper scientific analysis.  
You'll want to contact Agent Mulder shortly.  We look forward to
seeing your reports."

After being told that Agent Mulder's office was indeed in the
basement, as per the folklore, she again felt her ire rising,
wondering why she had garnered this assignment.  Did they think she
was so worthless in her job at Quantico that they found her
expendable?  Did they think she was weak and would just serve as their
spy to rid themselves of this Agent Mulder, someone who was
notoriously a thorn in their sides? Were they trying to force her to
quit?

She knocked on the open door as she entered; amazed at what she saw
when she entered the office.  Her eyes couldn't work fast enough to
take everything in... pictures of UFO's, of skeletons, aerial maps,
folders and books stuffed every which way on every available surface.  
She saw him, hovered over a light table looking at slides.  "Sorry,
nobody down here but the FBI's most unwanted," a voice called to her.  
But she didn't really see him until he turned around to face her,
looking up through his glasses.

"Agent Mulder...  I'm Dana Scully.  I've been assigned to work with
you..."

He was nothing like what she expected.  She found his verbal repartee
intellectually stimulating... intelligent, challenging. The arrogance
of his attitude and his forwardness of constantly stepping into her
personal space was a bit offsetting.  But, she thought she detected a
bit of shyness, that his arrogance was just a defense mechanism.  And
he certainly didn't look like the odd ball she was expecting...
Actually, she thought he was kind of cute, a bit goofy, maybe, but
definitely not in the least bit spooky.

PBS STATION, WWDC
WASHINGTON, DC
Later that day

"Hey!" he said to her as he looked up from his monitor, moving to meet
her.  "What are you doing here?" he asked, kissing her, always pleased
to have her stop by his station. She returned his kiss, but he felt a
bit of hesitancy in her action.

"I knew you wouldn't be home until late and I wanted to see you," she
said, the same hesitancy apparent in her voice. As soon as she looked
down, unable to look him in the eyes, he knew what she was going to
say was going to be something he didn't want to hear.  "I got an
assignment, Ethan."

"Oh, no...  Dana, you can't do this.  We've been planning this
vacation for six months," he said, his whine of disappointment
understandable to her.  They had been planning this, counting the days
of this last week of work.  They had rented a private condo on the
beach in North Carolina, with private access to the water and all the
amenities necessary to seclude themselves for a week.  They needed
this.  Their relationship had become strained; the pressures of her
job and the sometimes erratic hours of his not affording them much
time to spend on themselves.

"I have to go to Oregon.  I don't know for how long."

"Well, can I ask what's so important to ruin our trip?" he asked, a
raised eyebrow her first response.  "National security is not an
acceptable answer."

"You know I can't talk about it."

"Are you working with anybody?" he asked, teasingly probing to see if
her assigned co-worker was male or female.

"Yeeees," she smiled to him.  "His name's Fox Mulder."

"Spooky Mulder?"

"You know him?" she asked, surprised that his reputation seemed to
reach outside the FBI.  Ethan's story of trying to cover one of
Mulder's projects and his inference that everyone felt he was somewhat
of a joke around town somehow irritated her.  She already found
herself feeling defensive about her new assignment... and her new
partner.

DANA SCULLY'S APARTMENT
11:02pm

She was already in bed, not really sleeping, tossing and turning
mostly, when he came home from work.  He was quietly moving around the
apartment, figuring she was already asleep. He had cancelled their
reservations for the condo, checking for a vacancy for the following
weekend, hoping that they might still get their trip together.  He
entered the bedroom, looking toward her to see if she was sleeping.

"I'm awake," she said groggily, sitting up in the bed to look at him.  
He walked toward the bed, bending to kiss her as he removed his
jacket.  "Are you coming to bed or do you have work to do?" she asked,
lying back down against the pillow.

"I've got work to do, but I'm coming to bed," he said smiling at her,
moving into the bathroom to take a quick shower. She watched him in
the dim light of the bedroom, suddenly feeling a pang of guilt at
ruining their chance for some quality time together.  He dropped his
towel and crawled into bed, scooting toward her before propping his
head on his elbow to look at her.  "Wanna talk about it?"

"Oh, Ethan.  I'm just having so many second thoughts about this
assignment... why they chose me for it... what it's going to do to my
career..."

"Can you get out of it somehow?" he asked, rubbing her stomach
soothingly.

"I can't refuse an assignment, Ethan.  I've got to go on this one,"
she said, turning to him, putting her hand on his bare chest.  "But as
soon as I get back, I'm going to try to make sure this assignment is
only temporary."

"How long will you be gone?" he asked, smiling at her as he began to
unbutton her pajama top.

"I have no idea... It could be a day or two or a week... I don't
know..." the arousal already starting to cloud her voice. "Oh, Ethan.  
I wanted this vacation with you so much... so much," she said, kissing
him, responding to his touches.

"I wanted it too, Dana.  I moved the reservations to next weekend, so
let's keep our fingers crossed," he half- mumbled, opening her top,
moving his hand to her breast.

"Actually, I'd like you to keep your fingers right where they are..."
she said, giggling as his hand descended into her panties.  "I love
you, Ethan..."

"I love you too, Dana.  I don't think I say that often enough," he
said as he nuzzled her neck.  "Now, if I could just get you to say
'yes' to my proposal..."  He pushed her panties down with his hand;
she finished removing them, pulling them off her legs with her feet,
too aroused to pay any attention to his last statement.  He moved
between her legs, holding himself to enter her, her sigh indication
that she felt as good as he did.  "Jesus, Dana..."

"Ummm, yeah, just like that..." she sighed, moving with him, stroking
her hands up and down his back, over his ribs as she kissed his neck,
under his chin to his ear.  "A little harder, Ethan..." she whispered.

He began moving harder and faster as he felt his release building,
hoping she would finish before him.  He felt her working harder to
keep up with him, her breathing indicating to him that she was close,
finally feeling her shudder, her internal muscles clamping him so
tightly, he followed almost immediately.  They lay quietly, both
recovering as he held her close.

"What am I going to do without that in Oregon?" she smiled at him.

"I think you'll survive, considering that's the first sex we've had in
over a week as it is," he said, sounding rather sharp and not meaning
to.

"And whose schedule has caused that," she said, turning onto her side,
away from him.

"Dana, I didn't mean it that way... really," he said, snuggling over
to her, wrapping his arm around her.

"I know, I know... I'm just tired and apprehensive about tomorrow...
I'm sorry."  She moved her head back and he kissed her, her thoughts
being totally elsewhere...

DANA SCULLY'S APARTMENT
The next morning, 5:08am

She poured her travel mug full of coffee, thinking she'd leave the
rest in the pot for him when he got up in a couple of hours.  As she
turned to close her briefcase that was lying on the table, she
startled at seeing him standing in the doorway, leaning against the
jamb watching her.  "Ethan! Shit!  You scared me," she said, holding
her hand to her pounding heart.

"I just wanted to say good-bye, wish you good luck on this
assignment," he said, moving to her and putting his arms around her
waist, kissing her neck.  "I know you're nervous."

"I'm okay... better this morning, I think.  Last night helped," she
smiled, returning his embrace, relaxing to lay her head on his
shoulder.  "At least Fox Mulder doesn't seem so bad."

He pulled away from her, looking into her eyes at that comment.  "I
did some checking last night, Dana... on Mr. Mulder and his so-called
work."  She moved back from him, looking up with a questioning
expression on her face.  "He's bad news for you, for your career.  
You do not want to be associated with this guy any longer than you
have to."

"You checked up on him?" she asked, finding herself somewhat irritated
that he hadn't mentioned it last night.  "Why didn't you say something
before?"

"Well, we had other things on our minds, for one thing," he answered,
moving to put his arms around her again.

She stepped back from him, her irritation continuing to build.  
"Don't Ethan," she said, finishing putting things into her briefcase.  
"I think I can handle this situation myself, thank you."

"Well, Dana, maybe you think you can, but just be aware that Mr.
Mulder has some very powerful friends who support him that you may not
want to piss off."

"Well, it'll be a moot point by the time I get back, now won't it?"
She picked up her briefcase and her mug, looking at him like she
wanted to say more, but thought better of it, not wanting to leave on
a bad note.  "I have to go, Ethan. I'll be late for my flight," she
finished, looking at him with a softening look, leaning over to give
him a light kiss. "I'll call you as soon as I can."

THE PINES MOTEL
BELLEFLEUR, OREGON
The same day, 7:06pm

"I want you to look at something," she said, her voice quivering as
Mulder invited her into his room out of the pouring rain.  She could
barely see him, the light of the candle providing illumination only of
his face.  She took a deep breath, turning away from him before
unfastening the tie of her robe.  She lowered the robe to her waist,
standing before a man she barely knew, but somehow trusted, in nothing
but her bra and panties.  "What are they?  Mulder, what are they?!"
she demanded, scared that the marks on her back were the same kind
they had found on all of the victims in their case.

"Mosquito bites..." he said after hesitating a few long seconds.

"Are you sure?!"

"Yeah, I got eaten up alive, myself, out there," he said, a bit of a
laugh to his voice.

She closed her robe, turning around to lay her head against his chest,
as much from embarrassment as fear, most likely. She felt him lightly
pat her back, asking her if she was okay.  "You're shaking," his voice
having lost the bit of fun he had previously seen in this situation.  
He realized she was really scared.

"I need to sit down," she said quietly, her eyes downcast, unable to
look at him.  She couldn't believe she was behaving this way.  She had
seen more horrible things in her work thus far than many agents would
see in their whole careers and she had handled them professionally.  
But this case was nothing like she had ever experienced--- people
disappearing, suffering severe psychosis as the result of their
disappearances or as the result of the marks on their back. And all of
it starting to appear as though the local officials were trying to
cover it all up.  She took several deep breaths, trying to regain her
composure and her ability to speak.

"Take your time," he said softly as he sat in the chair on the
opposite side of the small hotel table.  After a few moments, she bent
over and laid her head on her legs.  He stood; alarmed that she was
not doing well.  "Scully, hey, are you going to be okay?"

"I'm a little light headed..."

"Come on, lie down on the bed," he said, helping her to her feet.  
She moved to the bed, laying down, rolling to her side.  Instead of
leaving her, he sat on the floor beside the bed, a gesture she found
touchingly kind and considerate. "Some of the cases I get weird me
out, too, Scully.  So don't be embarrassed."  A bit blunt, but somehow
comforting and just what she needed to feel better about her
unexpected reaction to their case.  "You feeling a little better?"

"Yeah...yeah.  I'm fine," she said, finally looking at him with a
slight smile.  "I'm not a pantywaist, Mulder.  I don't usually react
that way.  It's just... it's just that there are so many unknowns in
this case..."

"There are more unknowns than you will ever understand, Scully..."  
He began to tell her everything, opening up about his life, his
family, his sister, the cases he had found and the attempts by others
to destroy evidence and to cover up what he was searching for.  "I'm
tellin' you this, Scully, because you need to know... because of what
you've seen..." She felt somehow proud that he trusted her enough to
confide in her, this from a man who, admittedly, trusted no one.  She
found herself telling him about her life, past and present, about
Ethan and felt an immediate attraction to him that she couldn't
define.  It wasn't sexual or even personal at this point, but his
honesty and compassion for the truth of his work was something she had
never seen in anyone before. She felt drawn to him in some way.  
'Nothing else matters to me' he had said.  "I know you can't
understand, Scully.  But I needed to set things straight... so you can
get out while you can," he said, a resigned laugh, almost.

"But I do... I do understand, Mulder," she said, putting her hand on
his arm that was lying on the bed.  "I may not understand this case or
your work, but I understand your compassion for it...  I've always
felt that no one really understood why I wanted to join the FBI, my
interest in forensic medicine."

"Not even your boyfriend?"

"Especially not my boyfriend," she said sadly, propping herself up on
her elbow.  "Oh, I think he might understand my compassion for
medicine---he loves his work, too.  But he's never really accepted
that I have a compassion for forensics. He really doesn't like to even
talk about it.  I think he thinks it's too weird," she said, smiling a
sad smile at him. "So when I come home and I'm excited about my work,
having solved a case or maybe even preventing another crime, I really
don't have anyone to share it with..."

DANA SCULLY'S APARTMENT
GEORGETOWN
Two weeks later, 9:04pm

She and Mulder had finished the case in Oregon in a few days, but they
had to finish up with several things after they had returned to
Washington.  They had spent long hours together, Mulder working with
Dr. Werber and Billy Miles and she working on trying to present the
facts of their case to Blevins in an acceptable light.  She found
herself invigorated, actually turned on by the work and the absolute
need to prove what she felt might have happened.  She couldn't say the
words that she might believe; still having doubts that what Mulder
felt happened could have actually happened.  She could justify almost
every point with some kind of scientific explanation, which was more
what Blevins wanted to hear.

Needless to say, she and Ethan's rescheduled trip to the beach had
been placed on indefinite hold.  He couldn't understand why she
couldn't go since she had returned from Oregon with, what he thought,
was plenty of time to spare. She resented that he doubted her,
questioned her work and the strain on their relationship seemed to
have intensified by the day.

"Ethan, I don't know what you want me to say," she said resignedly,
moving off the couch and walking into the kitchen.

"Dana, don't walk away from this," he said, looking back over the
couch to watch her.  She had already returned to the couch, a filled
mug of tea in her hand before she addressed his statement.

"I'm not... I'm not.  I know we need to talk about this, but you just
refuse to listen to my point of view."

"What---that you want to give up a great job here in DC with fairly
regular hours to go chasing who knows what all over the country?" he
said, a sincere tone to his voice.  "I thought you wanted to get out
of this assignment, Dana.  Why have you suddenly changed your mind?"

"I haven't 'suddenly changed my mind', Ethan.  I have no choice.  I
have been assigned to the X-Files with no opportunity to leave at this
point," she said.  "It's the FBI, Ethan.  You are told to do a job and
you do it---period."

He moved closer to her, his voice soft and caring.  "Dana, you know
people, you have an excellent reputation... I'm sure if you tried,
you'd have enough influence to do something about this assignment."

"Maybe so, Ethan..." she said, placing her hand over his that was
resting on her thigh.  "But I'm not... so... convinced I want to..."
she spoke, aloud and maybe to herself for the first time.  She turned
to him and took his hand in hers, looking him directly in the eyes for
the first time that evening. "I have never been so challenged by any
work I've had yet, Ethan.  It was invigorating.  Fox Mulder is an
extremely intelligent, dedicated agent and the work is nothing like
anything else within the Bureau."

"Dana, he's a joke to everyone in Washington."

"Then the joke is on them.  He is the furthest thing from a joke I
have ever met in my life, Ethan.  And the work is fascinating--nothing
like I have ever encountered before," she said, moving to him, putting
her arms around his neck. "Please understand, Ethan.  I want to learn
more about this work, at least for now," she whispered, leaning back
to look at him.  "Please understand..."

He returned her embrace, moving back to kiss her lightly on the lips.  
"I don't understand, Dana, but I'll support you. If that's what you
feel you need to do right now, then I'll support you... I love you,"
he finished, holding her tightly to him.  "Come on... let's go to
bed," he said.  "We could use some...um...sleep..."  She chuckled
lightly at his metaphor, smiling at him as she stood from the couch.

"You go ahead.  I'll be in in a bit... I'm gonna take a shower, then
I'll be in," she said, bending to kiss him before leaving the living
room.  He didn't understand her, he thought.  What was it about this
'work' that had caught her fancy?  Why was she the only one he had
come across who had anything positive to say about this Fox Mulder?  
He didn't want this guy or this new work--- or his attitude towards it
to come between them---it just wasn't worth it.

Ethan had wanted to get married six months ago when he first proposed,
but she had wanted to wait, something that subconsciously could wear
away at him, at times.  He felt that she truly loved him, but seemed
all too content living together without a permanent commitment.  He
loved that she was career-minded---he was too, but he didn't know if
they could make it through the continuous separations that her new
assignment would surely bring.  He just hoped they could.

He was sleeping when she crawled into bed over a half-hour later.  
She hoped he wouldn't stir and she could just go to sleep.  She knew
he had wanted to make love and she wasn't exactly in the mood, despite
the fact they had only made love a few times since her return from
Oregon.  She didn't understand why--they used to spend some weekends
barely getting out of bed.  She had loved sex with him.  He was tender
but assertive, loving and always aware of her needs and pleasures,
appreciative of her satisfaction of his. Quite frankly, she had always
thought he was simply great in bed.  But lately, since their
relationship had become so strained, he seemed somehow... forced,
trying too hard to pleasure her rather than just loving her.  Maybe it
was her imagination--maybe it was just her.

She felt the mattress move, feeling he might be awake, knowing so when
he reached over to place his hand on her stomach.  "Feel better after
your shower?" he said softly as he rolled from his back to his side to
face her.

"Yeah, I always do..." she smiled at him before turning to face him,
too.

"Dana, I hope you know that no matter what we may disagree or even
argue about, I'll always love you," he said softly, wrapping his arms
around her.

"Oh, Ethan... I love you, too... so much," she whispered into his ear
as they embraced each other.  She knew he was hurting, as was she, and
suddenly felt an overwhelming need to show him just how much she felt
she really did love him.  "I need you, Ethan..."  She moved over him,
easing him over on his back as she began to kiss him, ravenously.  
She moved her leg between his, feeling his erection against her thigh,
feeling the wetness beginning between her own legs.

"Dana, God..." his response causing her to smile to herself.

"Just lay back, Ethan," she whispered, eliciting a soft groan from him
that affected her so that she had to lay her head against his chest
for a moment to catch her breath.  She began kissing his chest, taking
a nipple in her mouth, sucking it softly before kissing her way down
his chest, over his abdomen.  He stroked her hair, her back, holding
her hand that was splayed over his heart.  She took him in her hand,
stroking him lightly, kissing his thigh in response to his sighs and
increased breathing.  After putting him in her mouth, she held on to
his hip that had bucked in response, enjoying giving him pleasure in
this way, the way he had done so many times for her.  As a physician,
she knew where the most sensitive nerve endings were on a human body
and, as his lover, certainly knew where the ones were which were most
erogenous for him.  She licked his length and sucked his glans,
massaging his testicles, rubbing his perineum, feeling herself needing
more in response to his moans and sighs.

"Dana, honey, you'll... have to... stop... unless you want me... to...
uhh, Jesus... finish this way," he said between pants.  She scraped
her teeth very lightly over the head before moving up to lie over his
body, smiling at the euphoric expression on his face, before kissing
him.

"Some other time," she spoke against his lips.

He wrapped his arms around her back, rolling her to her side, making
eye contact with her for the first time since she had started kissing
her way down his body.  "Enjoy yourself?" he teased, finally being
able to speak.

"Very much...  Now, return the favor, big guy," she smiled to him as
she rolled to her back, opening her legs to him.  He moved on top of
her, his penis so hard he was able to enter her easily.  "Ummmm," she
sighed, rubbing her hands down his back, over his bottom, enjoying the
feeling of the contractions of his muscles as he began to move in and
out of her.  Her climax came quickly, as did his--their foreplay
placing them at the precipice before they had even started. As their
bodies cooled and their breaths steadied, he moved them to their
sides, holding her as he stroked her back, squeezing her bottom.

"I love you, Dana.  God, I love you..."

She snuggled closer into him, kissing his chest before Answering, "I
know... I know."

Continued in Pt. 2


AS IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN- Pt. 2
*******************************************

CAPITOL GRILL
WASHINGTON, DC
Two days later, 2:11pm
The bar was noisy, particularly the giggling woman
sitting next to her at the bar.  Scully was beginning
to wonder why she was here, why Mulder wanted to meet
outside the Hoover building in the middle of the
afternoon.  And, she was beginning to wonder if he
was going to show up, when she heard his voice.

"Hi," she said, turning almost into his face.  "I got
your message."

"Sorry for the runaround... Can I buy you a drink?" he
asked, already motioning for the bartender.

She was a little taken aback by his forwardness, again
crossing the line into her personal space.  "It's 2
o'clock in the afternoon, Agent Mulder."

"It's not stopping the rest of these people," he
noted, looking around at the others in business
attire crowding the bar.  "I've got something to show
you."

"Something you couldn't show me at work?" she said
rather coolly to him, still a bit off kilter by his
closeness.

He nodded, the look on his face making her understand
that what he had to talk about was something he didn't
want others to hear.  "Let's get a table."  She
followed him through the crowd, up a couple of steps
to a more private section of the bar.  He began
telling her of a case of what he suspected was a
military cover-up of a kidnapping of an Air Force
general.

"So you and I are going to the 'Spud' state to
investigate a little kidnapping," he smiled at her.
If she didn't know better, she would have thought he
was flirting with her.

"I don't get it, Mulder.  Does this have something to
do with an X-File?  I thought you only liked those...
a...paranormal-type cases...  Am I missing something
here?" she asked, suddenly self-conscious that she had
caught herself flirting back.

"Well, let's just say this case has a distinct smell
to it--a certain paranormal bouquet..." he said,
excusing himself to go to the restroom.  She was
smiling, enjoying the way he could describe something
so boring in such a, well, a 'Mulder-ish' way.  She
enjoyed his conversation... very much.

The file proved to be quite interesting as she began
to read, perusing the copied documents, some of them
apparently smuggled from somewhere, wondering just
how Mulder got his information sometimes.  And she
also wondered what might be missing... what he might
not be telling her when she looked up and saw him
standing there with a shocked look on his face.  "You
okay, Mulder?"

He focused on her, hesitating before answering, "Yeah,
I'm fine."  He didn't explain anything to her, even
though she had asked.  She had let it drop; knowing
that he only trusted her to a point and would tell
her when or if he was ready.  They returned to their
table, talked a little about the case, about
everything in general and nothing in particular.  He
had made a somewhat off-color joke, that she had found
hilarious, not being able to prevent herself from
laughing loudly, only giving him fuel to continue to
try to make her laugh, she thought.  During another
particularly hearty laugh, someone saying her name
interrupted her.

"Dana?"

"Ethan!" she said, struggling to stop laughing at
Mulder's latest quip.  "What are you doing here?!"
she asked, standing to greet him.

"I guess I could ask you the same thing, sweetheart,"
he said as he kissed her quickly on the mouth.  Her
discomfort was palatable, both because of Ethan's
public display of affection and his questioning
attitude, surely about why she was in a bar with a
man in the middle of the afternoon.

"Um, Ethan, this is Fox Mulder..." she stuttered.
"Mulder, this is Ethan Minette."  Mulder immediately
offered his hand, almost arrogantly.

"Ethan.  Good to meet you.  Dana has told me a lot
about you..." Mulder offered, apparently trying to
temper his attitude.

"Ethan, what are you doing here?  I didn't know you
were working around Hoover today," Scully said,
honestly wondering what he was doing there.

"I'm meeting Steve and a couple of people he's working
with on a story.  You haven't seen him, have you?" he
said to her looking around the crowded bar as he
could.  Steve was Scully's friend, Ellen's, husband
who worked with Ethan; that's how she had met Ethan.
The four of them socialized with some regularity,
but those instances had decreased also since Scully
and Ethan had both become so involved in their work.

"No.  No, I haven't," she answered, still looking
somewhat uncomfortable.

"Uh, Scully, we need to be going if we're going to
catch the next flight," Mulder said just as
uncomfortably.

"Um, yeah, uh, can you give us a minute, Mulder?" she
said, the sadness in her voice and in her eyes
apparent to Mulder immediately.

"Sure, Scully.  How about I meet you at the airport?
I'll have your ticket at the gate," he finished,
moving quickly out of the bar and away from the
awkward situation he knew Scully was in.  He would
talk to her about it later.

"Ethan..." she started.

"Were you going to tell me about this or just call me
when you got there--- to wherever the hell it is
you're going now," he said harshly.

"I was going to call you.  I just found out about
this myself, Ethan.  I hadn't had a chance to call
you yet," she said, her voice quiet and passive, very
unlike her.

"Oh, really.  When I walked in here, you didn't look
like you were getting ready to do anything of the
kind, Dana."

"Ethan, you are being ridiculous," she said, moving
to touch him, causing him to back away.  "What is
going on with you, Ethan?  I've never seen you act
this way."

But before he could answer, he heard a voice behind
him.  "Hey, Ethan. Dana-- I didn't know you were
going to be here!" the man said to her, giving her a
friendly hug.

"Hi, Steve.  Good to see you," Scully said to the man
who had just walked up, glancing sadly then toward
Ethan. "I'm sorry, you two, but I've got to go.
Ethan, I will call tonight after I arrive in Idaho,"
she told him, pointedly letting him know where she
would be going.

"Oooh, Idaho.  Man, Dana, are you livin' the high
life or what," Steve joked, not knowing the thin ice
he was treading on.  She gave him an obligatory smile,
moving to hug Ethan, whispering that she loved him in
his ear.  He barely returned her embrace and said
nothing more to her as she exited the bar.  They
wouldn't speak for another three days.

SOUTHWEST IDAHO
The next day, 3:10pm
They were sitting in their rental car across the
street from the home of one Col. James Kissell,
waiting for the man to arrive at his home since he
had refused to meet with them after Scully's call to
his office.  Mulder noticed she had been unusually
quiet during the flight out, but couldn't really say
anything to her since the plane was crowded and
they'd had someone in the third seat.  They had been
busy with the case since their arrival, trying to
figure out why they had received such a cold welcome
from every one except Mrs. Boudahas, the kidnap
victim's wife, and they hadn't felt her to be totally
forthcoming.

"Scully, you doin' okay?" he asked gently, trying to
test the waters a bit.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she said, looking at him with a
smile he recognized as forced.

"I'm sorry about yesterday...in DC.  I hope your
boyfriend wasn't too pissed off."

"Pissed off wasn't the half of it and I'd really
rather not talk about it right now, Mulder," she
said, unable to look at him, taking another drink
of her lukewarm coffee.

"Scully, we work together, surely he understands
that..."

"What?  What?!" she said, her second query containing
a laugh.  She looked at him incredulously; never
imaging that that was what he would think Ethan was
upset about.  "Mulder, I hate to burst your bubble,
but you have this all wrong.  As you know, I hadn't
yet had a chance to tell Ethan I was leaving town on
an assignment--the first he hears about it is from
someone he has never met reminding me that we had a
plane to catch.  I think you can understand why he
was upset."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to imply anything, Scully.  I
hope everything is okay between you two, that's all,"
he said, placing his hand softly on her shoulder.

"Mulder, please, I'm having a hard enough time with
this as it is and I truly would rather not talk about
it, okay?" she replied, her response more harsh than
she intended.

"Yeah, sure, I'm sorry, Scully.  I really didn't mean
to pry.  I won't mention it again---Scout's honor," he
said, giving her his smile as he gave her the Scout
salute.

"No, I'm sorry, Mulder.  I didn't mean to bite your
head off...  It's just that I don't do very well talking
about my problems to other people.  I never have," she
said, staring at the half-empty Styrofoam cup in her
hands.  "I truly would like to talk about it to
someone, Mulder, but I think it would be best, at
this point, if that person were Ethan..."

DANA SCULLY'S APARTMENT
Four days later, 6:07pm
Depositing her suitcase on the floor by the door, she
closed the door with her foot, slapping her hand at
the wall trying to find the light switch in the dark.
She was only mildly surprised to find that Ethan
wasn't yet home; he generally didn't get home until
six or so on a regular night.  She laid her briefcase
on the desk, taking her carry-on into the bedroom.

She had showered and had been working on her notes
for a while before she went into the kitchen to make
some tea, wondering to herself where Ethan was,
childishly thinking he was paying her back for her
trip to Idaho.  The case had been stressful enough,
her anger at Mulder as palpable as her fear for him
at what his stunt at Ellen's Air Force Base could
have cost him.  She was just thankful the ordeal was
finally over, at least the ordeal in Idaho was over,
she thought.  She had finally been able to reach
Ethan, on the third day she was in Idaho.  Mulder had
taken off with the car and she hadn't heard from him
since and she was worried as hell.  She was in the
middle of nowhere, and was totally inexperienced in
anything like her current situation.  So when she
had finally talked with Ethan, she was pretty much a
babbling idiot, the conversation finally
deteriorating into her crying and him trying to
comfort her from 1,000 miles away.  She had never
felt so alone in her life.

She had turned on the light above the sink when she
noticed a small note lying on the counter top.
Recognizing Ethan's handwriting on the front of the
envelope, her heartbeat increased as she began to
open it...

'Dana,
  I had to go to Atlanta.  We got an exclusive
interview with Turner, so we had to go while he was
still in the mood.  I left a message at your office,
but wasn't sure you would get it.  I should be back
late tomorrow.  I'll call.  I love you, Ethan'

Surprising herself and for some unknown reason, she
began to cry.  She knew she wasn't crying because he
wasn't coming home, but yet she was.  She needed to
see him, to have him hold her, talk this out.  The
events in Idaho had scared her; she realized that
Mulder's paranoia wasn't just all part of his
over-active imagination.  She just felt sad...
She took her tea and went to the living room,
lying down on the couch, wrapping herself in the
afghan that had been folded over the back.  She
left the lights off, turning on the television,
searching for an old movie to keep her company in
the dark.

DANA SCULLY'S APARTMENT
Two weeks later, 7:06pm
She and Ethan had been doing all right, better
actually.  He had come home from Atlanta in a good
mood, having gotten his interview with his prize
catch.  She needed to see him so badly by that point,
that most of their tension was seemingly forgotten.
They had taken a couple of nights for themselves, one
for a Pat Metheny concert and another for a night out
at a nice restaurant and a stay overnight in one of
Baltimore's most posh hotels.  She felt things between
them might actually be smoothing out and getting back
to what they had had before--- until the 'Tooms' case.

The stakeouts she had been doing for this case had
been keeping her out overnight, forcing her to sleep
when he was at work and simply repeating the cycle
the next day.  He understood, or so he said he did,
but they hadn't actually laid eyes on each other in
four days.  But she had told him on the phone that
morning that they had gotten back-up help with the
surveillance of the suspect and that she would be
home that night, all night, barring anything
unforeseen.  He told her he would be a little late,
but that he would be home in time for a late dinner
and the promise of actually sharing a bed.

"Mulder, you must have gone out since Colton gave us
the night off.  I say we file a complaint against
him--- I am furious!  Call me when you get in.  Okay,
bye," she had left on his machine.  Their co-worker
on this case, Tom Colton, had proven to be a major
horse's ass, not the decent Joe he had seemed to be
when she knew him at the Academy.  He, too, had
ridiculed Mulder and his theories regarding Eugene
Tooms.  And while she wasn't totally sold on
Mulder's conclusions either, she resented Colton's
attitude and had told him off quite well, she
thought.

She came home to find the apartment empty, wanting to
get a shower before Ethan got home, but realizing she
needed a long, hot bath to calm down after her run-in
with Colton.  She had been readying the tub when all
hell had broken loose.  Mulder's theories had been
true and Tooms squeezed into her apartment, attacking
her until Mulder showed up and was able to help in
subduing him.  Had it not been for Mulder's dedication
to the case and his habit of not listening to his
superiors, he might not have found the evidence at
Toom's hideaway that led him to rush to her apartment.
And the outcome might have been very different.

She was sitting on the couch, talking with a female
DC police officer when Ethan arrived home.  There were
a couple of other officers there, as well as a couple
of FBI, including Mulder.  "What the hell?..." Ethan had
said as he walked up to the apartment building.  After
convincing the officer outside that he belonged there,
he was given a brief rundown on what had happened and
escorted into the apartment.  "Dana?"  She turned
around, immediately going to him, wanting to jump into
his arms, but keeping up her professional decorum and
resisting her need.

"Ethan, I'm fine.  I'm fine.  There's been an incident
related to that case I was working on, but everything
is okay now," she said, her tone just a little too
professional for his liking at the moment.  "If you
would, please just give me a few minutes to get
everyone out of here and I'll explain everything,
okay?"  He just looked at her and walked back into
the bedroom, closing the door behind him.

While Mulder and the various agents were finishing
with what evidence there was and Mulder was giving
his statement, Scully found time to go talk to Ethan,
still sequestering himself in the bedroom.  When she
entered the room, his fury was palpable before he
spoke.  "What the fuck is going on, Dana?  What the
hell kind of work are you into that maniacs are
attacking you in our home?!!"

"Ethan.  Shhh, they'll hear you," she said nervously,
glancing back toward the door.

"Goddammit!!  I don't give one fuck if they hear me!
You could've been killed!"

"Ethan, I said lower your voice," she whispered.
"I'll not argue with you in earshot of my co-workers.
Now, I'll go out there and hurry them along; you calm
down and we'll talk about this like rational adults."

"I'll lower my voice, Dana, if you don't talk to me
in that condescending, nauseating FBI voice," he
finished, throwing his jacket across the room.  She
stared at him for a moment, her absolute anger raging
from her eyes, before moving to leave the room.

"Deal!" indignation dripping from her voice as she
slammed the door behind her.

All the evidence that was available had been gathered
and she could finish her statement tomorrow.  Everyone
had been ushered out except Mulder and he was readying
to leave, slipping on his coat.  She moved toward him,
standing on her toes to wrap her arms around his neck.
"Mulder, thank you.  Thank you," she said, moving back
to look at him, but not releasing her embrace.  "I
think I owe you my life."

"Looked like you were doing a pretty good job
yourself, there, Scully, but, you're welcome," he
said, wrapping his arms loosely around her waist.
"That's what partners do, partner."  She embraced him
again, and then stepped back from him, reaching for
the doorknob to let him leave.  He looked at her
intently before telling her quietly that he'd see her
tomorrow.  She smiled, closing the door behind him,
locking the locks before leaning her forehead against
the painted wood of the raised panel, not realizing
that Ethan had been watching the whole interchange
from his place just inside the bedroom door.  He
never mentioned what he had witnessed... and neither
did she.

CATTALARI'S RESTAURANT
BETHESDA, MARYLAND
Two days later, 8:06pm
Scully had called her friend the previous day,
telling her she was in need of a drink and some
female conversation.  Ellen kidded her that it
sounded serious, but realized Scully was about as
far from kidding as she ever got.  "Well, maybe you
can tell me what to do, El," she had told her friend
on the phone, setting a date for the next evening.
Ellen had picked Cattalari's since it was close to her
home and she wouldn't be far if Steve called with any
problems with the kids.

"So, Dana, tell me what's up...are you alright?" Ellen
asked, concern suddenly present in her voice after she
noticed how tense her friend appeared.  "How's Ethan?"

"Um, he's in New York, at the affiliate's convention,"
she answered, her evasion of the question not going
unnoticed.

"I didn't ask you where he was, I asked you how he was
doing, Dana," Ellen said softly, knowing Dana had
picked up on her acknowledgement that she knew her
friend was trying not to answer her question.  "And
why didn't you go with him?  I thought you guys always
liked to turn his trips to New York into
mini-vacations."

"Oh, Ellen...  I just don't know where to start and I
need to talk to someone," Scully finally said, her
voice filled with emotion that her friend was
surprised to witness.

"Dana, what's happened?  Tell me..."

The problems with Ethan just came pouring out of her,
even a slight mention of their lack of passion for
each other, the infrequency of their lovemaking,
things that Scully had never before talked about,
not even with Ellen.  Scully began telling her
about the problems Ethan was having accepting her
new assignment and how they seemed to have so little
time for each other anymore.  "We just don't seem to
have anything to talk about anymore, El.  We used to
lie in bed and talk for an hour before we went to
sleep.  Now, we're hardly ever home on the same
nights to even share a bed," she said sadly.

"What is it with this new job that has you so
enthralled, Dana?" she asked, curious about what had
taken hold of her friend that would cause her to
consider losing her relationship over.  Scully began
talking about her work, not the specifics of the
cases, but what the work did to her... intellectually,
emotionally, even spiritually; how she had felt so
alive and vital in the last two months since she had
started working on the X-Files, working with Fox
Mulder.  She began talking about him, telling the
funny things he had said, the brilliant conclusions he
had made in their cases, how stimulating she found his
conversation.

"Dana, do you realize that in the last, oh... 40 minutes
or so, you have talked about virtually nothing except
your partner and haven't mentioned Ethan once?" Ellen
asked sincerely, convinced that Dana didn't even
realize it.

"What?  Have I? ...Er, haven't I?" she asked, now
embarrassed by what she knew her friend meant.  "God,
Ellen, what is wrong with me?  One minute, I think if
I don't see Ethan, I'll explode and the next minute,
I can't wait to get to work to see what next new
thing Mulder is going to expose me to...  She put her
face into her hands, trying to contain some of her
tears.  "I can't take this, El."

Ellen reached across the table, putting her hand on
Scully's shoulder, thankful that they had a booth
toward the back of the restaurant, knowing her friend
would be highly embarrassed if anyone noticed she was
crying.

"Dana, do you still love Ethan?" Ellen asked quietly.

Scully looked up finally, taking a deep breath before
answering as honestly as she could.  "I don't know...
I don't honestly know..."

DANA SCULLY'S APARTMENT
Two weeks later, Saturday evening
The table was set for two, candles, crystal, the
whole deal.  Scully had actually been cooking most of
the afternoon, making Ethan's favorite, lamb with
wild rice pilaf and steamed vegetables.  The salad
was chilling in the refrigerator and the wine was at
room temperature waiting to be poured.  She was
trying in earnest to make things work and Ethan
seemed as if he was trying, too.  She had had to
leave for Sioux City, Iowa the day after her breakdown
with Ellen and the day before Ethan returned from New
York.  She had returned several days ago and things
had been cordial, no arguments or particular tension,
but no real passion, either.  True, they had been
tired, and she had gotten her period, so sex hadn't
been anything they had had to face.  But tonight would
be different.

The case in Iowa had been emotionally draining.  She
had felt so sorry for Mulder, his empathetic response
to the case of the disappearance of a young boy's
sister making her very concerned for his emotional
well-being.  She felt she and Mulder had become
close enough for her to confront him about his
personalization of the case, which had initially just
irritated him.  But later, back at their motel, he
had thanked her, actually thanked her for 'giving
enough of a shit' about him to even notice that was
what he was doing.  The boy's sister was returned to
him, alive, but the case hadn't ended well for Mulder.
He hadn't gotten the answers he was seeking, needing,
hoping for, and it saddened her to see him with his
heart aching.

But she was trying to put Mulder out of her mind and
keep her thoughts on her struggle to save her
relationship.  She really did want this to work out...
didn't she?

"Mmmm, Dana, even your lamb smells good," he said to
her, wrapping his arms around her from behind,
nuzzling her neck.  "Do you know how much this means
to me that you are doing this for me, for us?"

"It means a lot to me, too, Ethan," she answered
softly, bending her head to give him easier access to
her neck.  "It's almost ready."

He helped put the food on the table and poured the
wine as she lit the candles and turned down the
lights.  "Here's to us... and to our future," he said,
his desperate look unsettling to her, sad even.
They touched their wine glasses, taking a sip before
he reached to kiss her lightly on the lips.  The
conversation during the meal had been pleasant
enough; he had actually tried asking about her work.
He talked about his work, catching her up on a couple
of new projects he was working on at the station.
She couldn't go into too many details about her cases
with Mulder.  What would he think?  Hell, he thought
her work at Quantico was weird.

He had surprised her later, after they and the wine
had moved to the couch.  "So what's this Mulder guy
really like?  Is he as weird as everyone says he is?"

"He isn't 'weird', Ethan.  He's intense, but not
weird.  He has very strong beliefs about certain
things and is very intent on what he believes in,"
she said matter-of-factly to him.  "Some people may
mistake that for being weird or arrogant, but I
don't," she finished, setting her wine glass on the
table behind the couch.  She moved to sit closer to
him, folding her legs up on his lap before laying her
head on his shoulder.  "I don't want to talk about
work anymore, Ethan.  I thought tonight was supposed
to be about us."

"It is... It is," he said, kissing the top of her head.
"You know, it could be even more about us if we moved
this party to the bedroom..."

He was more aggressive than usual, seemingly more
intent on satisfying his basal need that she knew
hadn't been even addressed in well over two weeks.
She tried to respond to him, felt her body
responding to his physical touches, his mouth, his
voice.  It felt good when he entered her, her body
needing this as much as his did.

"Right there, Ethan," she had said when he
intensified his thrusts, her physical need to be
satisfied taking over her thought processes at that
point.  She climaxed, something she thought wasn't
going to happen until he moved just enough to hit the
right spot at the last minute. He continued to thrust
in and out of her, her thoughts by that time on hold,
just wanting him to finish... to hurry up and get it
over with.  Her thoughts suddenly began to make her
feel sick... nauseous to the point she was afraid she
wasn't going to make it until he finished.  After he
came, he fell off of her, onto his back next to her,
trying to catch his breath.  She rolled to her side,
away from him, never remembering a time when they
made love before that they hadn't held each other
afterwards.  She was already crying and that thought
made her weep all the more and she knew there was no
hiding her tears.

"This isn't going to work anymore, is it, Dana," he
said softly, sadly to her, a statement, not really a
question.  She reached for a tissue from the bedside
table, sitting up to wipe the tears from her eyes.

"Ethan..." she sobbed, sincerely sorry for what she now
knew was the end of this relationship.  She loved
him, she still did, she was just no longer in love
with him.  "I wish I could say differently, but I
can't... I can't."  She finally looked at him, the
light filtering in from the streetlight and the
nightlight from the bathroom, providing enough
illumination for her to clearly see the sadness in
his eyes.  She started sobbing all over again.

"What happened, Dana?"

She covered herself, leaning back against the
headboard, still sniffling, wiping at her eyes with
the tissue.  "I don't know, Ethan..."  She sobbed
again, covering her eyes with her hand.  "I didn't
intend for this to happen...  I just think we have
grown in different directions and can't seem to find
a middle road anymore."

"You're in love with him, aren't you?" he asked.  His
tone wasn't mean or accusatory; it was simply sadly
resolved.

She looked at him, initially surprised by his
question, but then realizing that the question had
been hanging between them for some time and needed to
be asked---and answered.  "Ethan, there is nothing
going on between Mulder and me," she said, looking at
her hands, nervously twisting her tissue.

"I didn't say there was...  I asked if you were in love
with him."

She looked at him lovingly, an inconsolable sadness
washing over her face as she contemplated her answer,
for what seemed like eons to him, and to her, before
responding.  "What I feel or might feel for anyone
else has no real meaning to us, Ethan.  You and I
both know that there were problems in our
relationship before I ever met Mulder," she said,
returning her gaze to her lap.  She looked at him
again, reaching to take his hand in hers.  "You
were never a substitute until the real thing came
along, Ethan.  I loved you... Don't ever think that
I didn't..."  She had loved him, had felt deep love
for him, but there always seemed to be feelings
somewhere inside her that made her feel there could
be more...  She had asked herself what had happened at
least a thousand times, never before being able to
admit there was an answer to her own question.  But
she knew--- Mulder and the X-Files had happened.

FBI HEADQUARTERS
WASHINGTON, DC
One month later
Ethan had moved to a hotel the next day, moving the
rest of his things out within the week.  They had
been civil to each other, sincerely trying to make
things as easy as possible on each other, all the
while enduring insufferable pain in silence, alone.
Ironically, she and Mulder hadn't been out of town on
a case since Iowa and she had barely seen him since
her split with Ethan.  Probably for the best, she
thought.  She had painfully told her mother about her
break-up, the lack of any surprise from her coming as
a surprise to Scully.  Her mother hadn't said much-
'It's probably for the best, Dana'--- about all Scully
had remembered from the conversation.  She told Ellen,
after a half bottle of wine, finding it more difficult
to tell her than when she told her mother, for some
reason.  She had been deliberate in not mentioning
Mulder in either conversation, not wanting to deal
with any potential questions or insinuations.

Of course, she hadn't yet told Mulder.  She used the
fact that she had seen very little of him as her
convenient excuse, but she knew the truth was that
she was avoiding it.  Actually, she had also realized
that her insecurities had reared their ugly head and
she was also avoiding telling him because she was
afraid he could actually care less.  No, she really
didn't think that; she knew he would be concerned for
her, but was certainly not convinced that he would
have any other reason to take notice.

A coroner had telephoned Scully for consultation on a
rather strange case in New Jersey. Scully had really
wanted to run it by Mulder, but her apprehension was
high at the potential of possibly having to go out of
town on assignment with him.  She headed down to the
basement office, finding Mulder, um, otherwise
engaged...

"Workin' hard, Mulder?" she facetiously asked, her
question directed at his preoccupation with the
rubber-breasted centerfold in the magazine he was
viewing.

Without missing a beat, he turned around in his
chair, showing her the magazine.  "This woman claims
to have been taken aboard a spaceship and held in an
anti-gravity chamber without food and water for three
days," he said, his humorous smirk bringing the same
reaction to her face.

"Anti-gravity's right..." she replied, a bit proud of
her 'Mulder-ish' retort.  He threw the magazine on
the desk and she read the look on his face as sincere
happiness at seeing her.  She smiled back at him,
their unspoken language speaking much, at least to
each other.

"Sorry to interrupt your serious investigation..." she
said, turning to face him, leaning against the desk,
"but I just heard a story that'd just about take your
knees out."

"What's that?"

"They found a body in the New Jersey woods yesterday,
missing its right arm and shoulder.  They think they
may have been eaten off... by a human."

Of course Mulder's curiosity was peaked.  "Where in
New Jersey?"

"Just outside Atlantic City."

"Not an uncommon place to lose a body part," he
pointed out.  "They think it's the Mob?"

She shook her head, "Uh uh.  It was a homeless man.
There doesn't seem to be a motive."

He looked at her before rising from his chair, his
face almost touching hers as he grinned at her,
asking "Ya feeling lucky, Scully?"

"Relative to whom?" she asked, being as coy as he was.
He was already rummaging through the file cabinet
where he kept the old X-Files; she could see the
wheels already turning in his head.  "It's not our
case, Mulder.  The local police are handling it."  He
pulled out the file he had evidently been looking for
and turned to look at her.  "An X-File?" she said,
teasing him with incredulity.

"Ever hear of something called the 'Jersey Devil'?"
he asked seriously, handing her the file, again
stepping into her personal space.

"Yeah, it's a beast that's supposed to come out of the
woods and attack cars, right?   Kinda like an east
coast Big Foot?"

He leaned even closer to her.  "Read the file about
the case in 1947," he said, leaving the office before
she had a chance to barely open the folder.

She hurriedly closed the file, grabbed her briefcase
from the desk, moving quickly to catch up to him.  He
began giving her a matter-of-fact bare bones synopsis
of the 1947 case as they made their way upstairs to
the car requisition unit.   "Family watches Dad get
dragged off into the woods.  Cops find Dad with a few
appendages gnawed off.  Cops corner a large naked man
in the woods and gun him down.  Autopsy shows human
flesh and bones in the man's large intestine... a
'beast' man," he says, finally stopping, turning to
look at her.

Scully had become fairly incredulous at his attitude
that she was just supposed to accept this as fact.
"Is the autopsy report in here?" she questions,
holding the file up to him, knowing full well there
was no documented proof of what he has described.
"Mulder, it's the same story I've heard since I was a
kid!  It's a folktale, a myth!"

He continued to avoid her eye contact, overly intent
on completing a car requisition form.  "I heard the
same story when I was a kid, too.  Funny thing is... I
believed it."  He turned to face her, then, telling
her what he knew she needed to hear to get her to
investigate this case with him.  "Fact is, we got a
cannibalized body in New Jersey.  Someone or
something out there is hungry," he finished, walking
away from her.  She watched him go; taking a deep
breath as she realized she may be embarking on what
could become the rest of her life.

ATLANTIC CITY, NEW JERSEY
Outside the City Morgue, 2:11pm
Mulder's self-confident arrogance had further pissed
off an already irritable, jurisdictional local
detective named Thompson who was in charge of the
case.  They were essentially given the official boot
without ever even being allowed on the case.  She
tried to explain to him that the detective had been
well within his rights to pull jurisdiction on them,
but she could tell that Mulder wasn't finished with
this case.

"Hey, whadaya say we grab a hotel, take in a
floorshow, drop a few quarters in the slot, do a
little digging on this case?" he said to her as they
started to get in their car.  She couldn't help but
smile at him.

"You're kidding, right?"

"Okay, we can skip the floorshow."

"Mulder, I have to be back in DC."

"Have you got a date?" he said, his expression
serious.  She looked at him a moment, taken aback at
his quick question.

"No...  I have my Godson's birthday party at 6:30."  He
looked away from her, the pissed-off expression on his
face beginning to piss her off.  He looked back toward
her, tossing the car keys at her across the roof of
the car.  "What are you doing?"

"A little poking around... maybe make a weekend out of
it," he finished, walking away from her, giving her a
fairly irritated stare.  That was all it took...

"Mulder, it's a three hour drive back by myself!" she
yelled after him, Mulder simply giving her a
discounting wave as he continued across the street.
"In Friday night traffic!" she finished, flashing him
an even more irritated stare that he wouldn't see.

Continued in Pt. 3


AS IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN- Pt. 3
**********************************************

HOME OF ELLEN KELSEY
BETHESDA, MARYLAND
Later that evening, 7:06pm
Scully had sat motionless in bumper to bumper traffic
on the New Jersey turnpike for over twenty minutes,
her anger at Mulder having risen to a level that if
he suddenly appeared in front of her car she would
have run him over.  And whatever made her think that
being in the presence of ten eight-year-olds would be
any less animalistic than the 'beast man' in New
Jersey had quickly faded from her memory pool.  After
Ellen had rounded up all the party-goers and had them
sitting at the table with plenty of cake and soda to
keep them occupied, the two of them had a chance for a
bit of respite.

"Ohhhh," Scully had groaned, amazed at the deafening
decibel level emanating from a seemingly average group
of boys.  "You're amazing!" she said to her friend.

"What?" Ellen replied, unsure of what Scully was even
talking about.

"You're such a natural at all this... I don't know how
you keep it all together."

"Mommy radar."

"Hmmm... I don't think I'm cut out for this, El."

"Dana, you went through the FBI Academy.  What better
training could there be for motherhood?" Ellen said,
Scully looking at her unsure if Ellen was joking or
not. "Seriously... You're great with kids.  What are you
talking about?"

"When am I supposed to find the time?"

"Well, first you have to get a life..."

"Ahhh," Scully joked.

"---And, of course, it helps if you can find a man,"
Ellen hinted.

"Know of any?" Scully asked, only half teasing.

"Yeah, they're disappearing faster than the Brazilian
Rain Forrest.  What about that guy you work with?"

"Mulder?"

"Yeah, I thought you said he was cute?"

"He's a jerk," she said, her ire at him just as
present as it had been on her solo trip home.  But,
she really didn't truly believe that, and not wanting
her friend to believe it either, immediately
corrected herself.  "He's not a jerk.  He's a... he's
obsessed with his work."

"And like you're not, Dana."

"I'm committed to my work, El.  There's a difference."

"Okay... if you say so, Dana.  You just keep telling
yourself that."

The doorbell rang and Scully went to answer it,
leaving Ellen to answer the ringing phone.  When
Scully opened the door, an incredibly handsome man
greeted her on the other side.

"Hi, I'm Scott's dad," he said by way of
introduction before moving in to locate his son.

Ellen coughed to get Scully's attention and put her
hand over the receiver, whispering to Scully,
"Divorced..."  Scully didn't outwardly react, but
internally, her emotions were like a blender on a
roller coaster.  She had strong feelings for Mulder
that she could make no orderly sense of whatsoever;
she still missed Ethan at some level, missing having
someone to love and missing someone loving her; she
found this stranger very handsome, but nervous about
the prospect of dating anyone again.

DENNY'S RESTAURANT
ATLANTIC CITY, NEW JERSEY
Monday, 11:02am
Mulder's phone call to her at FBI Headquarters hadn't
exactly come as unexpected news.  He had stepped on
the wrong toes over the weekend and found himself
locked up in the drunk tank of an Atlantic City
police precinct.  After she had picked him up, he
could barely contain himself, his eagerness to tell
her all about the case and what he had seen, so
childlike and refreshing, that the predominant anger
she had continued to feel toward him as recently as
that morning, just faded into the background.

She had taken him to breakfast, jail food not being
all that appetizing and all.  "Mulder, what's gonna
happen when word of this gets back to the Bureau?"

"They dropped the charges.  That guy, Thompson--- he
ran me through the system just to spite me," Mulder
said, his mouth stuffed with his breakfast food.

"I'm talking about this Jersey Devil thing..."

"I saw it!  It's exactly the way the Ranger
described--- the way it moved; the way it sniffed the
air.  It's come out of the woods!  Probably in search
of food..."

"Yeah, I'll say," she said sarcastically, referring to
the fact that this 'beast' had eaten human body parts.
"This thing chewed somebody's arm off.  It's not
exactly a defensive posture."

"But you do believe I saw something, don't you?" he
asked, his face alive with the wish that she would,
at least, believe that.

"You saw something, I'll give you that.  But I'm not
about to go in and sell it... Not when it's nothing more
than a sighting in a dark alley."

"I still got a hotel room I'm paying for," he said,
looking up from his plate of food, the innocent hope
that she would agree to stay and work the case with
him, lighting up his eyes.  She found herself wanting
to, very much, but not being able to prevent herself
from backing away.

"Yeah, well, I have to get back to Washington by 7:30,
so... a..."

"Got another birthday party?" he asked, unable to look
at her, as he stuffed another piece of toast in his
mouth.

"No.  I have a date," she answered, taking a sip of
her coffee to avoid his eye contact, too.  She felt
somehow guilty.

He looked at her with an expression on his face that
looked like if he waited long enough, she would
retract her statement.  "Can you cancel?" he finally
asked shyly.

"Unlike you, Mulder, I would like to have a life..."
she told him, finally looking him square in the eyes.

He smiled at her, almost a pitiful expression, she
thought.  "I have a life," he said, staring at her,
seemingly thinking that if he stared at her long
enough, she would believe that he really did.  She
had to laugh, shaking her head slightly, embarrassed
because all she could really think about through
their entire breakfast conversation was how infectious
his excitement was and how endearing he was when
telling her about it.

After they got in the car and she had pulled back out
onto the interstate, he looked at her as if his
question had just dawned on him.  "What do you mean,
you have a date?  You mean a date with Ethan?"
sincerely realizing he didn't really know what she
had meant.

Her audible sigh could be heard over the low tone of
the radio.  "Mulder, Ethan and I split up... last
month..." she said softly, saying the actual words
still difficult for her.

"Scully... I... I didn't know... I hadn't heard..." he said,
the end of his sentence dropping off as he looked at
her.

She could feel him watching her, knowing his
expression would be something that might bring out
more emotion that she could let herself have at the
moment.  "It's okay, Mulder.  Really... I think even
my mother has taken me off suicide watch by now,"
her attempt at levity falling short.

"That bad, huh?"

"Oh... not really," she said, turning to look at him.
His eyes radiated the emotion of his true concern,
causing her to realize that she owed him, at least
some of the true feelings she had.  "At times, yeah,"
she finally said.  "I think I've cried more in the
last few months than I had in all the previous years
of my life--- combined."

"The last FEW months?" he asked, immediately picking
up on the time discrepancy.

"Things had not been good for quite some time, Mulder.
We just happened to finally end it last month."

"The Tooms case...," he stated, looking down at his
hands.  "I could feel he blamed me for that, blamed
your working with me for exposing you to danger you
didn't have in dealing with dead bodies at Quantico."

"Mulder, you know when you have a cup overflowing
with water; it isn't that last drop that causes it all
to pour out... It's the accumulation of every drop in
that glass..." she said, looking at him, his eyes
expressing something to her that she wasn't sure she
was ready to handle...

FBI HEADQUARTERS
FOX MULDER'S OFFICE
One week later
Her date with the incredibly handsome man Ellen had
fixed her up with had turned out to be incredibly
boring, so incredibly boring, that when Mulder had
called her pager, she made the proper excuses and
left the poor bastard sitting in the restaurant
alone.  There had been another sighting in New Jersey
and she had followed Mulder back onto the case, going
with him that same night back to Atlantic City.  They
hadn't been chasing some slimy criminal, some child
rapist or serial killer, but a possible evolutionary
missing link.  How fascinating was that?  The case
excited her, whether totally believing it or not, she
was enthralled at what they might find, the thrill of
the hunt almost intoxicating.

Mulder had been devastated at the end result, the
'beast WOMAN' being killed by the same local
detective who had thrown him in jail.  She had
tempered Mulder's reaction, preventing him from doing
something that could have easily gotten him thrown
out of the Bureau.  They had worked on the case notes
for the last week, gathering statements from the other
witnesses, waiting for the autopsy report, since the
local PD had again flaunted their jurisdiction and not
allowed Scully to perform it.

On Friday, she had walked into the basement office,
the posthumous medical exam results in her hand. They
had found fragments of human bones still in the
woman's digestive tract, but nothing to suggest
prehistoric bone structure or physiology.  She also
had the results of the male body they had found.

"There would've been offspring..." Mulder stated.

"The exam of the woman's uterus does seem to indicate
that she may have given birth," Scully admitted.

"She was just protecting her children, Scully.  It all
makes sense!" he said excitedly, like the proverbial
light bulb over his head had just been turned on.
"The male dies... and she comes out of the woods in
search of food," he said, jumping up from his chair,
getting his coat, obviously heading out to who knew
where.

"Mulder, will you do me a favor?  Will you just go
out and have a beer?  Will you take the day off?
I'll cover for you...  Will you just take some time for
yourself?" she begged, her worry for his
obsessiveness showing in her voice.

"Thanks for the offer, but I've got an appointment at
the Smithsonian with an Ethnobiologist--- I can't
wait to tell him about this!" he said excitedly,
moving around her to go answer the phone.  She
crossed her arms and sighed with exasperation at his
refusal of her offer.

"Mulder," he answered.  "Yeah, just a second."  He
had an odd look on his face, she thought, seeming
surprised by who had called.  "It's for you," he
said, handing her the phone before walking out of the
office.

"Oh, hi," she answered, wondering herself who would
have tracked her down to Mulder's office.  It was the
man she had gone out with last weekend, trying again,
offering her a chance at 'a life' from the other end
of the phone.

She caught up to Mulder, again registering for a
Bureau car, moving to stand beside him.

"Who was that on the phone?"

"A guy."

"A guy?  Same guy as the guy you had dinner with the
other night?" he asked, his attempt at nonchalance
not very convincing.

"Same guy," the hint of a smile beginning on her
face.

"Gonna have dinner with him again?"

"I don't think so..." she said, thinking to herself
that this plainly ordinary conversation with Mulder
was more stimulating to her that that 'guy' could
ever be on his best day.

"No interest," Mulder said, finally looking at her,
reaching for the car keys issued to him.

"Not at this time," she said, her resolve that her
place was with Mulder, giving her a comfort and a
pleasure she hadn't felt in a long, long time.

FEDERAL COURTS BUILDING
WASHINGTON, DC
Three months later, 2:11pm
"Ohhhh.  I forgot what it was like to spend a day
in court," Scully moaned, loaded down with files and
reports used in her testimony.

"That's one of the luxuries to hunting down aliens
and genetic mutants--you rarely get to press
charges..." Mulder's observation eliciting her
laughter.  They had found a cassette tape in the car
containing a cryptic message from a previous
acquaintance of Mulder's, now an inspector with
Scotland Yard, the message scaring the hell out of
her, but seeming to be quite a cute trick to Mulder's
friend.  The fact that the 'acquaintance' had
immediately given Mulder a lingering kiss on the lips
did nothing to endear her any further to Scully.
Later, Mulder had told her they had 'known' each
other at Oxford but that it had been over ten years
ago and he just wanted to help her with the case so
she could return to England.

Scully had so wanted that to be on the case.  In the
last several months, they had been together virtually
every day, even weekends, working on varying cases.
A poltergeist in Philadelphia, a computer with a mind
of its own in Virginia and an ordeal in Alaska that
had nearly gotten them killed--- at each other's hand.
On their next trip, to Houston, they had been distant,
both probably needing some time away from each other.
Alaska had shaken them both.  Then Mulder had gone off
to Wisconsin by himself, AD Skinner sending her to
retrieve him after he had gotten into trouble with a
military operation Mulder said was covering up a
downed UFO.  The case seemed to heal them a bit, both
seeming to realize that they were much better when
they were together, than trying to work apart.

Their next case had been tiring, flying back and forth
from Connecticut to California twice within a week's
time.  The case had involved two young sisters; cases
with children always difficult for anyone, but
particularly so for Mulder.  They had had some down
time after that, only the court case to prepare for.
They had actually had a night out together, Mulder
showing up at her apartment asking her if she wanted
to go with him to a friend's birthday party, an
outdoor barbeque held in the Virginia countryside just
outside Washington.  The following weekend, Mulder had
gone with her to her mother's to help with some
furniture moving prior to her mother having her house
painted.  They had ended up staying the night, Mulder
in the guest room, Scully sleeping on the couch, and
finished up the next day.  Their off-hours time
together had been wonderful, the connection she felt
with him growing each day,it seemed,until Phoebe Green.

Almost as soon as Phoebe had shown up at their car,
she had barely seen Mulder.  He had worked the case
with Phoebe, telling her flat out he didn't need her
on the case.  Scully had found the file in the office
and read it, researching a few things on her own.
She had finally found some significant information
that she felt she should share with him when she
called his cell.

"It's Scully.  Where are you?"

"Hum," he coughed; surprised to hear her voice,
acting like he'd been caught doing something he
shouldn't.  "I'm in Boston."

"I've got something to show you.  I'm gonna come up
there," she said matter-of-factly, not yet picking up
on his reaction to her call.

"What've you got?" he asked, a feeble attempt, hoping
she might just tell him over the phone.

"I might have some information on the identity of
your arson suspect."  He hesitated, an 'oh shit' look
on his face that he was lucky Scully couldn't see, but
picked up in his audible sigh.  "Are you there,
Mulder?" she asked, beginning to get the picture as
to why he was reacting to her news as though it
didn't matter.

"Yeah...  yeah..." he said, another nervous sigh audible
to her.

"Can I meet you somewhere?" her voice tinged with the
impatience and irritation she was beginning to feel
for him.

"No, it's just I'm... I'm kinda anticipating having my
hands full," his double entendre not being lost on
Scully.  He had finally told her where he was staying,
that he was providing surveillance at a party there
that night along with Phoebe for the family who had
been threatened by the arsonist.  She hadn't told him
definitely that she was coming up there, not knowing
for sure that she would.  But after she hung up, she
knew professionally that she needed to and shouldn't
let her personal apprehensions interfere and,
personally, she just knew she had to.

VENABLE PLAZA HOTEL
BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS
8:05pm
Scully had arrived in Boston and checked into a room
before trying to locate Mulder.  He wasn't in his
room and she thought about calling his cell again,
but decided, instead, to go to the Marsden party to
locate him.  She expected to find him near the
ballroom, but was taken aback when she got off the
main elevators to find Mulder and Phoebe, in their
evening finery, sharing a very slow dance in the
main hall area outside the ballroom.  She didn't
know whether to be pissed at him for being so
unprofessional in public or hurt because he seemed
to be enjoying himself.  She thought it was a little
of both.

Scully moved around the corner a bit, out of their
field of sight, not wanting to be discovered, to
decide how she was going to proceed.  She looked
around the area, before again checking on them, now
finding them kissing, his hand slipping down to
Phoebe's bottom.  Scully turned to leave, unable to
witness anymore, when she noticed the main fire alarm
panel on the wall, the flashing lights and beeping
noise catching her attention.  Running to do the job
that Mulder and Phoebe were obviously ignoring, she
let them know as she passed them, still kissing.

"There's a fire upstairs!" she said, turning to look
at them.

"What?!" Mulder responded, Phoebe moving out of his
embrace.

"On the 14th floor," Scully finished, giving Mulder a
look that reflected everything she was feeling.

The rest of the evening had been a blur...  Fire
personnel had taken charge and Mulder was
unaccounted for until he was finally located some
time later.  He had suffered smoke inhalation when
trying to rescue the Marsden children, feeling
embarrassed that he had panicked and been unable to
get to them, what a limo driver had been able to do
instead.

Scully had taken care of him when he was brought back
to his hotel room, only saddened further when his
first concern when he awoke was "Where's Phoebe?"

Scully had essentially solved the case for them and
Mulder had caught Phoebe and Sir Marsden in a
lip-lock, so his experience with her had ended no
differently than it had 10 years before.  But the
whole scenario had shaken Scully, feeling she had
mistaken the closeness she and Mulder had developed
as more than he wanted it to be.  She had worked on
several autopsies for other agents and cases and he
had helped profile on two important cases, projects
that had gotten him some positive attention for a
change.  But she missed him... missed the challenges
he presented, missed his passion, even his sick jokes
and off-color innuendos.  She put in for a week off at
Christmas to spend time with her family, hoping that
over the break she could get her head, and her heart,
back on the right track.

FORDHAM HOTEL
RALEIGH, NORTH CAROLINA
December 29, 10:03pm
"I lied to the police about how I found the
warehouse," she said abruptly, not being able to
deceive Mulder any longer.  Scully had left Mulder
and their suspect, Luther Lee Boggs, at the Central
State Prison earlier, her emotions running too strong,
unable to endure any more.  She and her family had
held her father's memorial service only hours before
she joined Mulder in Raleigh, needing to be near him
and her work, more than needing to be with her family.
Boggs had taunted her, had started singing the obscure
song played during the scattering of her father's
ashes, and she had been stricken.  She had held on to
her emotions as long as she could, not wanting to fall
apart in front of Mulder and a room full of fellow
officers.

For once, Mulder didn't believe in something
paranormal, he didn't believe this suspect was
'channeling' another murderer, but orchestrating a
kidnapping from within the prison walls, trying to
deal a stay of his execution.  And for once, Scully
was believing, truly believing this suspect was
somehow communicating with her deceased father.
Scully had chosen to let Mulder finish with the
suspect while she returned to the hotel, but on her
way there, the things that Boggs had said were coming
to him in visions, began to formulate into clues that
she was seeing in her own mind.  She found herself
following the clues and located important evidence
exactly as his visions told her she would.

"I didn't notice any... suspicious activities," she
admitted.

"Then how did you find it?" Mulder questioned, moving
closer to her.

"It was where Boggs said it would be," she said,
unable to look at Mulder.

Mulder sighed, the frustration evident in his voice.
"Scully, I told you about Boggs."

"I didn't go looking for it!  I came across an area
that had landmarks he spoke of!" she said defensively,
finally looking him squarely in the eyes.

"That doesn't matter!  That's exactly what Boggs
wanted!  He could've been setting you up---you could
be dead right now!!!" he yelled, unable to contain
his emotion, his obvious concern for what could have
happened.  She turned away from him, but he moved
closer to her, hurt beginning to register on his
face.  "Why did you feel you had to lie on your
police report?"

"I thought it would be a better explanation under the
circumstances..." she said quietly, beginning to
understand the look of hurt now on Mulder's face.

"What you're really saying is that you didn't want to
go on record admitting that you believed in Boggs.
The Bureau would expect something like that from
SPOOKY Mulder... but not Dana Scully."

She turned to look up to him, her voice starting to
break.  "I thought that you'd be pleased that I'd
opened myself to extreme possibilities..."

"Why now, after all we've seen--- why Boggs?"  She
had turned away from him again, unable to speak and
Mulder noticed her emotion, a sudden understanding
dawning on him.  "Does this have to do with your
father?" he asked gently.  She couldn't look at him,
shaking her head 'no', but Mulder knew better.  "You
said that he didn't approve of you becoming an FBI
agent.  Now, if being on the job now makes you feel
guilty... or... uncomfortable or uneasy, I think you
should back away."  She looked at him then, hoping
that he didn't mean that---she couldn't leave now
and be alone with all that she was feeling.
"Because if it's clouding your judgment, you're
putting yourself in danger," he finished, the caring
in his voice making it difficult for her to hold
herself together.

"I love this job," she said softly to him, not
knowing if everything she meant by that was apparent
to him.

"You love your father..." he said sweetly and that was
too much.  She walked away from him, unable to face
him, to let him see her cry.  He moved closer to where
she was standing and sat on the end of the bed.  She
looked at him and saw the invitation in his eyes,
sitting down next to him.  He offered a bit of
conversation about Boggs, probably to help divert his
own emotions but serving to help her gather herself a
bit also.

"Scully, maybe you should go back to DC... be with your
family," he said looking down at her, sitting quietly
next to him, unable to meet his eye contact. "Scully?"
he said, touching her chin with his fingers so that
she would look at him.  That's when she broke, unable
to contain her whirling emotions, her shaken belief
system... her grief, any longer.  She wrapped her arms
around his neck, sobbing openly into his shoulder. He
reciprocated, holding her tightly, just letting her
cry as he soothingly rubbed her back, whispering into
her ear.  "Let it go, Scully... I'm here with you... Just
let it go..." he told her.

They stayed that way for over ten minutes, neither
saying another word.  After her sobs had finally
subsided, she lifted her head from his shoulder,
letting her arms fall away from him.  She looked at
him, her small smile saying so much, before laying
her head back on his shoulder.  He put his arm around
her, laying his cheek against the top of her head.
"I've got an idea, Scully..." he said, reaching for her
hand that was lying in her lap.  "You get yourself
ready for bed and I'll go scrounge us up something to
eat and some hot tea or something... How's that sound?"

"Wonderful..." she answered quietly, finally sitting up
to look at him.  He stood up, reaching in his pocket
for his handkerchief, offering it to her before he
moved to leave. "Mulder..." she said, just before he
moved out the door.  "Thank you..."

"Anytime, Scully... Anytime."

FORDHAM HOTEL
Two hours later
Scully had barely had time to shower and put on her
pajamas and robe when Mulder knocked at her door,
his hands full of carryout containers.  The hotel
had fixed him a couple of omelets and decaf coffee
and he had brought her several mints that he had
filched from a maid's cart he found sitting
unsupervised by the kitchen entrance.  She had only
picked at her omelet, so he had finished hers as well
as his own.  "Mints are for you..." he had smiled at
her, childlike in his offering of his little gift.

It became obvious to him that she was fighting sleep,
obviously so tired she could barely sit up, but
keeping the conversation going so he wouldn't leave.
"Scully, you need to get to bed.  You can barely
sit up."

"Mulder..." she said, stopping herself before saying
what she really wanted to say.  "I guess you're
right," she offered quietly, standing to move toward
the bed.  But he stopped her, touching her shoulder
before wrapping her in his arms.  She held on to him,
needing his comfort more that he could realize, she
thought.  "Mulder, I don't want to be alone tonight...
please don't leave..." she said, strengthening her
grasp on him.

"I hadn't planned to, Scully.  I'll stay as long as
you need me to..." he whispered to her, moving back
from her to look at her.  "Come on, let's get you
into bed."

He bolted the door before turning off the light on
her bedside table, the room darkened except for a
faint glow around the partially opened bathroom
door.  He took off his shirt and his shoes and she
could hear the buckle on his belt jingle as he
removed it and the change from his pockets clatter
onto the table.  She remained quiet, lying on her
side with her head pillowed on her arm, unsure of
what he was going to do.  The mattress dipped, but
he did not get under the covers, simply scooting
over to her, spooning up behind her, wrapping his
arm around her.  "Sleep tight, Scully.  I'll be
right here if you need anything..."  She didn't
reply, but simply moved her arm over his and
grasped his hand, feeling him snuggling closer to
her as she did.

DANA SCULLY'S APARTMENT
Six days later
The case in Raleigh had ended badly, at least for
Mulder.  Even though the kidnap victim was found
alive, Mulder had been shot in the thigh, a nasty
wound that had left him fairly incapacitated.
Despite his arguments otherwise, Scully had
insisted that he stay with her after his four day
stint in the hospital, until he was up and around
enough to, at least, get to and from the bathroom
without assistance.  His doctors in Raleigh
weren't exactly ready to discharge him, but gave
in only because he was going to have a 'personal'
physician.

"Mulder, please just lay back and let me do this,"
she said, mildly irritated at his lack of cooperation.
"This dressing needs to be changed and you need a
bath.  You're starting to get a bit rank..."  Even
though he had been sedated enough that he slept most
of the time, he had managed to refuse his sponge bath
the previous two days he had been at her apartment and
she had finally drawn the line in the sand.  Either
he allow her to properly take care of him or she was
sending him back to the hospital.  "I won't kill you,
Mulder... even though I have given it thought in the
last couple of days," she teased, looking up from
what she was doing to give him a slight smile.

"Scully, the last time you did that I was too stoned
to notice.  But, I get a little nervous when... a...
a someone is using scissors so close to my... uh...
valuable parts, so to speak," he said.  He was
sitting up in her bed, propped against the headboard
with a stack of pillows.  She continued to cut the
tape, giving him a look that told him he had better
keep his comments to himself.

"Everything looks good, Mulder.  Your incision is
healing nicely, very nicely, actually.  You're a
quick healer," she smiled.  "Mulder, I really need
to give you a sponge bath, but you need do as much
for yourself as you can."  She placed a pan with
warm soapy water on the nightstand, handing him a
towel and wetted washcloth.  "Wash what you can
and what you don't want me washing," she smiled at
him.  "And I'll be back in a few minutes and finish
what's left."

"Oooh, Scully, you mean I get to choose?" he said,
wagging his eyebrows at her.

She gave him a departing smile, one that made him
remember a previous case where she was referred to as
'the enigmatic Dr. Scully'.  Enigmatic indeed.  He
couldn't figure her out most of the time, that was
for sure.  And there was something else he didn't
understand--- what the hell had he ever done in his
life that had made him worthy of her care, her
loyalty, her friendship... her love?

The rest of the evening had been spent in the living
room, Mulder's cabin fever having reached dangerous
proportions.  She had put a brace on his knee to
prevent him from pulling the muscle of his thigh and
he had hobbled from the bedroom using his crutches.
He was propped up on the couch, his legs extended in
front of him.  Moving from the bedroom to the living
room had been enough of a strain that he had needed
more pain medication and had fairly quickly dozed
off.  That gave her time to do a few things around
the house, to actually cook something for dinner
instead of ordering in.

Mulder had roused a couple of hours later, his
stamina still at about zilch.  She brought him
something to snack on and a sports drink to tide
him over until dinner time.  She had given him the
remote and figured he was good to go for another
couple of hours and went about finishing what she
needed to do.  He would watch her come and go, in
and out of the kitchen, the bathroom, wishing she'd
come and sit with him for a while but not wanting to
ask her.  He already felt he was a burden to her,
and knew she had things to do beyond playing
nursemaid to him.

"Hey," she said quietly, touching his shoulder from
her place sitting on the coffee table.  "You ready
to wake up?"  He looked around, not even realizing
he had dozed off again.

"What time is it?" he asked groggily, sitting up a
little further as she moved the pillows behind his
back.

"Dinner time, if you're hungry," she offered.  "You
want to stay here or try to sit at the table?  We
could probably prop your leg up, give you a change
of scenery..." she smiled.

"Um, yeah, yeah, that sounds good," he said, touching
her knee.  "Thanks for all you're doing for me,
Scully.  I don't know where I'd be right now if you
hadn't taken me in."

"Mulder, if the truth be known..., I'm actually
enjoying the company," she said quietly, placing
her hand on top of his on her knee.  "Please don't
feel that you are in any way a burden, or a pain in
the ass... well, at least you aren't a burden..."  He
smiled at her, truly feeling she meant what she said
to him.

"Well, I can't show you right now, but I do
appreciate it."

"Come on, let's eat in the kitchen.  You'll feel
better," she smiled, standing, offering him her hand.

10:03pm
She had gotten him back to bed, full from dinner and
in a much better mood from having been up and about a
bit during the afternoon and evening.  "How many
pillows do you want, Mulder?" she asked, wondering
how he wanted to sleep.  The first few days he had
wanted to sleep half sitting up; he said it was
easier on his leg muscles.  But as the days
progressed, he wanted fewer pillows, sleeping
better if he reclined.

"Um, just one.  I'm going to try to sleep lying down
for a change," he said, solemnly to her.  "Scully..."

"What?  What is it?" she asked, sensing he wanted to
say something further, moving to stand at his side
of the bed to adjust his pillow.

"I've been hogging this whole bed since I've been
here, but now that I don't need so many pillows, I
can sleep on my half and you can have your bed back,
at least half of it," he said sincerely to her.

"Mulder..." she said, unable to look him in the eye.
If he only knew how badly she wanted to sleep in that
bed with him, he wouldn't have been so apprehensive
about asking.

"Look, Scully, I know you don't like the couch and I
won't do anything..."

"I'm not afraid of you, Mulder.  That isn't why I
have been sleeping on the couch," she said, finally
looking at him, feeling silly that she was even
hesitating.  "Let me get you comfortable and I'll be
in later.  I've got a few things to do.  Is that
better?"

"Yeah, much better," he said, looking toward her
just in time to see her slight smile.

11:20pm
Scully had taken a long, gourmet bath, soaked until
she was prunish.  She dressed in the bathroom, not
knowing if Mulder was totally asleep.  She had mixed
emotions about getting in the bed with him; wanting
to so badly she could barely contain herself, yet
dreading lying next to him without being able to
touch him.  She had touched him physically so
frequently since his discharge from the hospital,
seen him naked, helped him use the bathroom.  But
yet, it wasn't intimate, sexual or truly personal;
it was all things she had done with other patients
during her residency more times than she could
remember.  But yet it was personal, more intimate
than some sexual contact could be because it was
Mulder.  She hadn't been with anyone since Ethan
and there were times, she admitted to herself, that
she missed him, missed him physically, missed being
held by a man while she slept.

But this wasn't about that.  This was about
friendship, about being there for someone you cared
about, about getting Mulder better.  He was sleeping
when she got into bed, snoring very noticeably,
probably from the sedation of his pain medication.
She gave him a slightly larger dose at bedtime than
she did during the day so that he would sleep more
soundly and not accidentally move and hurt himself.
She felt odd getting into bed with him, laying that
closely to him when they were both half-dressed.
She rolled to her side away from him, smiling to
herself that the strangeness she had felt initially
was already dissipating and the closeness they
shared seemed somehow already familiar.

6:07am
Scully had slept fitfully; Mulder's snoring keeping
her awake on several occasions.  She had gotten up
early, making coffee and an easy breakfast quiche.
She squeezed the orange juice and made a tray for
Mulder.  She checked on him about an hour later,
finding him still sleeping, the covers thrown off of
him and his t-shirt on the floor next to the bed.
Going to his side of the bed, she noticed the
perspiration on his forehead and the flush to his
face.  Looking down his body, she also noticed the
tenting of his boxers, his morning erection making an
impressive appearance.  She softly moved the sheet
over him before touching his shoulder, shaking him
slightly to wake him.  "Mulder...  Mulder, it's time to
wake up," she said, now brushing his hair off his
forehead with her hand.  He didn't feel feverish and
she noticed his eyes moving rapidly under his eyelids,
obviously dreaming something that had him worked up
or aroused or both.  "Mulder," she said louder,
shaking him more strongly.

"Huh?!" he said loudly, snapping up straight in the
bed, a look of total disorientation on his face.
"Owww, fuck!" he said, reaching for his leg,
obviously hurting from his sudden movement.

"Oh, Mulder.  I'm so sorry... I didn't mean to startle
you," she apologized, grabbing at the pillows to place
them behind him.  "Here, lay back and try to relax...
just relax."  She moved the sheet down, massaging his
leg softly, trying to ease his pain.

"Oh, shit, it hurts," he said, laying back against the
pillows, closing his eyes.  She got him a glass of
water and his morning pain pill and lifted his head to
help him drink.

"Here, take this and just try to relax.  It'll kick in
in a few minutes."  He opened his eyes then, looking up
to her, sitting beside him on the bed.  She smiled at
him, again brushing his hair back from his forehead.
"Feeling better?" she asked softly.

"Yeah, yeah... I'm fine... much better, Scully.
Really," he said, taking hold of her hand, giving her a
reassuring smile.  "Man, I musta really been out of it."

"Um, yeah.  I think you were dreaming," she said,
blushing slightly, unable to look at him directly.
"I've got some breakfast made if you're hungry...  I'll
bring you a tray..."

"No, Scully.  Just help me get up---I need to go to the
bathroom, anyway," he said, moving to sit up and reaching
for his crutches.  "I need to start living a normal day...
I can't stay here forever."

Continued in Pt. 4


AS IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN- Pt. 4
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

DANA SCULLY"S APARTMENT
Friday, six days later
They had returned from Mulder's doctor's
appointment, his stitches had been removed several
days before and he was getting about fairly well,
but slowly, on his own, only using his crutches
when he was out of the apartment, walking longer
distances.  He, no doubt, could have moved back to
his own place several days before, but both of them
had been silently avoiding the subject.  They had
developed a routine, even after Scully had gone
back to work earlier in the week.  She had simply
taken some personal time, feeling that her reason
for being off was no particular business of anyone
at the FBI, figuring they assumed that it was
related to the sudden death of her father.  And she
just let them believe that.  Mulder had paid
medical leave since he was injured in the line of
duty and wasn't due back until his doctor
released him, so he was probably going to be off
another couple of weeks before he could return, even
to desk duty.

"Scully, where's your corkscrew?" he yelled to her
from the kitchen.

She stuck her head around the corner of the bedroom,
finishing dressing from her shower.  "Top drawer to
the left of the sink... " she called back.

Mulder had puttered around in the kitchen, getting
the take-out ready for dinner, even making a salad,
such as it was.  He opened the wine, looking forward
to drinking a bit since he was no longer taking any
pain medication.  Scully had gone in to work very
early to get some things finished so that she would
have time later in the afternoon to take him to his
doctor"s appointment.  She was beat, tired and
stressed, Skinner having questioned her about the
time she had been taking off and she sensed he was
insinuating something about Mulder, but had let it
drop, feeling it was better than to try to deny
anything.  After they had returned to her
apartment, Mulder had insisted that she take a long
bath, even bringing her a book and a cup of tea.

She had known things would go well at Mulder's
doctor's appointment and then there would be no
sliver of a reason why he would need to continue to
stay at her apartment.  And she didn't want him to
leave; she had grown used to him being there and had
grown used to not being alone.  That had been one of
the greatest adjustments after Ethan had moved
out-spending time alone in her apartment.  Not that
she didn't enjoy it once in awhile, having time to
herself; sometimes she even looked forward to it.
But she loved having Mulder with her, enjoyed the
humor and intellect in his conversation, enjoyed
having someone to care about... sleep with.  But she
knew tonight was it---he would have not even a
flimsy excuse to stay any longer and would be
moving back to his place tomorrow.

"Mulder... everything looks great," she told him,
seeing the table already set and dinner just waiting
to be eaten.  "Really, it's very thoughtful. "

"It"s just take-out, Scully, " he said, not a person
to take compliments well.  They sat down to dinner,
neither saying much, awkwardness in the air that
they hadn"t had in the two weeks he had been at her
apartment.  Each of them seemed to be wanting to say
something, but neither having the nerve to start the
conversation each of them knew had to take place.

"Mulder... "

"Scully... " they said simultaneously, each of them
laughing then, finding the humor in the fact that
they had somehow each begun the inevitable
conversation at the same time.

"I guess we both got our nerve at the same time, "
Mulder kidded, looking at her knowingly.

"Yeah... yeah," she smiled, meeting his eyes.

"I guess I"ll head back home tomorrow.  I think I"m
healed, huh?" he said, the melancholy visible in his
voice, his eyes.

"Yeah...  I, uh... uh... all of your laundry is finished,"
she said clumsily, embarrassed by her inability to
talk about what she was really feeling with him.
"We can get everything packed tonight, if you want."

"Scully, it"s okay.  I"m having a hard time with
this, too," he said, his directness actually causing
her to relax a bit.  "I"ve gotten used to mooching
off you in the last couple of weeks."

She smiled then, looking at him, somewhat shyly.
"You haven"t been mooching off me, Mulder.  If I
hadn"t enjoyed every minute of it, I would"ve moved
you out a week ago... and I wouldn"t be dreading
tomorrow."

"Dreading?" he said, affecting a shocked expression,
teasing her.

"Well, maybe not dreading... but definitely knowing
that... that, um... that I"m going to miss you, Mulder,"
she said sincerely.  "You know, it hasn"t been that
long ago that... um, I, um... didn"t live alone.  I"ve
kinda gotten used to having somebody around again."

"Oh, so that"s it," he responded, a measure of hurt
reflected in his voice.

"No.  No... that"s not what I meant," Scully said,
shaking her head.  "I"m not doing very well, here..."
she said, almost under her breath.  She looked at
him, then, directly making eye contact with him
before speaking again.  "What I want to say is,
Mulder, that I enjoyed having you here.  I have
enjoyed spending time with you, having someone
around to fuss over, someone else to think about
besides myself, someone to come home to..."

"Thanks, Scully.  I know I have been a burden, but
you have never made me feel like one and I
appreciate that.  Really, you have no idea," he
finished, reaching across the table to lay his hand
on hers.  She returned his grasp, smiling quietly at
him, not knowing what to do next.  "I hope you know
that had things been reversed, I would"ve done the
same for you."

"I do know that, Mulder... as surely as I"m sitting
here.  And you have no idea how much that means to
me," she said, giving his hand a confirming squeeze.
"Come on," she said standing, pushing her chair away
from the table.  "You go on into the living room and
find something ACCEPTABLE to watch and I"ll be in in
a few minutes, okay?"

He stood, moving up behind her as she stood at the
sink, rinsing their dishes for the dishwasher.  He
put his arms around her, laying his chin on top of
her head, moving to kiss her temple, then whispering
in her ear, "Thank you, Scully."

FOX MULDER"S APARTMENT
ARLINGTON, VIRGINIA
The next day, 1:12pm
They had had a nice, relaxed evening, Mulder finding
"The Birds" showing on AMC and Scully figuring it
might be one of the few movies that they both would
like.  He had laid on the couch, his head on a pillow
on her lap, her feet on the coffee table.  They were
watching in the dark, Mulder"s idea of the only way
to watch "The Birds".  When the movie had ended, he
looked up at her, his eyes and expression saying so
much, the look she returned saying as much.  He
reached up, stroking his fingers along her cheek,
giving her a small smile that she somehow couldn"t
resist and bent to kiss him, lightly on the lips.
She pulled back suddenly, like she had been shocked,
afraid she had made a mistake.  He pulled her down
for another kiss, smiling at her after, telling her
quietly, "I think I"d better sleep on the couch
tonight."  And that was the way the evening had
ended.

They had gathered his things after breakfast, and
Scully had loaded everything in her car.  Mulder
joked, telling her he could get used to her waiting
on him, but really feeling quite terrible at not
being of much help.  When they had arrived at his
apartment, she had left him for a while to go
shopping for a few things for his refrigerator so
that he would have at least a few things that were
less than a month old.  Finally, she had figured he
was set and she probably needed to get going.  "I
guess I better go, Mulder.  I think you"re set,
here," she said, picking up her jacket from the
back of the chair.

"Scully, sit down a minute.  I need to say a couple
of things," he said, looking at her, patting the
sofa beside him.

She slipped her jacket on, maybe as security to let
him know that she was indeed leaving, and sat down
beside him on the sofa.

"Scully..."

"Mulder, look, I think I know what you are going to
say and it"s okay.  Really.  I understand.  We were
both caught up in the moment last night and we can
just chalk it up to that and forget it if you want
to.  I won"t hold it against you," she said, staring
at some unknown spot on the floor.  "We have to work
together... and I don"t want to ruin that."

"If that is what you thought I was going to say, you
may not be as perceptive as I thought you were," he
laughed.  "I was just going to say that, well... I owe
you one, you know?  And I just wanted to pay you
back, well, in some small way.  How about tomorrow
night?  There"s an "Ed Wood" marathon at the
Esquire..." he asked hopefully.

"Mulder, I would really enjoy that...  But I"ve
already made plans for tomorrow night," she said
softly.

"Another date?" he joked with her, but fearing it
was actually true.

"Actually, yes-- with my mother," she kidded, sensing
his apprehension.  "We"ve made plans for the day and
she needs my company right now.  But I"ll call you
when I get home tomorrow and maybe we could rent one
of Ed"s classics sometime next week, if that"s
okay?" she asked as she stood from the couch.  He
started to stand as well, struggling to get to his
feet as she reached to help him.  He walked her to
the door, both of them childishly nervous about how
to finally say good-bye.  She stopped when she got
to the door, opening it before turning to look up at
him.  "I"ll call later, Mulder---make sure everything
is okay..."

"I"ll be fine, Scully.  I"m not helpless anymore---at
least no more helpless than I"ve ever been," he said,
touching her shoulder, rubbing her shoulder lightly.
He looked at her intently, his gaze so intense that
she found it almost unsettling.  Holding on to her
shoulder, he bent to give her what he meant to be a
light kiss, but which became much deeper when she
reached her hand behind his neck and held him close,
kissing him harder.  She pulled away then, smiling at
him before exiting, closing the door behind her as he
stood there still in a state of shock.

GREEN GARDENS RESTAURANT
WASHINGTON, DC
Sunday, 1:12pm
Scully and her mother had gone to Mass in Arlington
and had each lit a candle for Scully"s father.  Her
mother had good days and bad days, as did Scully, but
Sunday generally seemed to be a good day for her
mother; maybe it was Mass, she didn"t really know.
Scully had driven them to a favorite restaurant, not
far from the Hoover building, and they were seated
in the atrium, enjoying the view of the Potomac.
"Mulder and I like to eat lunch here every now and
then, when we have the time," Scully said to her
mother, continuing to peruse the menu.  "The
raspberry and havarti salad is good, Mom."

"Is that what you and your new partner order?" her
mother teased, Scully getting her inference.

"No..., Mom.  That"s what I order--- Mulder orders
whatever he can find that is highest in calories and
cholesterol," Scully answered.

"Oh, really... So what else can you tell me about Fox,
Dana?" her mother smiled at her.

Scully finally looked up from her menu, glaring at
her mother, before speaking.  "Why don"t you just
say what"s on your mind, Mom."  But before her
mother could speak, the waiter arrived at their
table and delivered their drinks and took their
order.  Scully hoped that her mother"s train of
thought had been broken and that she wouldn"t
continue to rib her about Mulder.  She didn"t want
to lie to her mother, but she really didn"t want to
answer any questions about him... Hell, she wasn"t
sure she would know the answers.

"So work is good, Dana?" she started.

"Yes, Mom.  Work is good."

"I don"t know why you are being so evasive, Dana.  I
can see that you are enamored with Fox..."

"Mom, please," Scully said.  "Please..." the emotion
behind this line of conversation finally apparent to
her mother.

"Dana?" she said, moving her head to force Scully to
meet her gaze.  "What"s going on with you?"

"Mom, please don"t ask me any more questions.  I"m
having a hard enough time with this as it is..." she
replied, taking a drink of her coffee.

"What do you mean, "with this"?  Dana..." her mother
said, almost a gasp.  "You are in love with this
man,"she said, a surprised statement,not a question.

"No, Mom.  No," Scully said, unable to formulate any
more words to reply.

"Dana, I didn"t just fall off the turnip truck, you
know.  I know what it"s like to be where you are and
I can see how you feel," she said softly.  "You"re
in love with him..."

"Mom, I can"t be.  Don"t you understand?  I can"t
be!" she said, glancing at her mother before laying
her forehead in her hand.  "He"s my partner."

"Don"t let your work interfere with you personal
life this time, Dana.  True love only comes around
once in your life.  I knew that you and Ethan were
not meant to be together forever.  I could see it.
But, Dana, I can see what you are feeling for Fox
in everything about you... I"ve noticed it every time
you speak about him," she said, noticing her
daughter fighting back tears.  "Please, honey,
don"t let this pass you by for some noble reason.
Don"t ever count on tomorrow... things can be over
in an instant."

BALTIMORE, MARYLAND
Three weeks later
Mulder had returned to work, desk duty, the previous
week and was annoyingly antsy to get out in the field
on a case again.  That next week after he had moved
back to his apartment, he had taken her out to
dinner and to a play about the "Brady Bunch" that she
thought was kind of funny, in a dorky kind of way.
They had kissed a couple of more times, but he had
seemed distant, almost as if he was having second
thoughts or trying to slowly pull away from her.

Only Mulder could"ve come up with their next case.
He had actually wanted her to believe that there was
a group of backwoods Amish-types from outer space
who were able to change from one sex to another to
use pheromones to kill their sex partners.  The
funny thing was, by the end of the case, she wasn"t
so sure that he was wrong.

Anyway, after they returned from their weird
experience in Maine, they had been assigned a case
that she would never forget because it almost spelled
their end.  She had been called off the X-files at
the request of an agent in charge of a big case the
FBI had been working on for some time and were
pulling out all of the stops to solve.  She knew
that Agent Jack Willis had been a major part of the
case, but was surprised to learn that he had
specifically requested her.

The case had begun catastrophically, Willis having
been shot in the process of catching the suspect,
this being witnessed by Scully before she shot the
suspect.  She had felt guilty about the whole thing,
feeling she should have reacted more quickly,
shooting the suspect before he had a chance to level
his gun at Willis.  Mulder had heard about the
shooting, knowing Scully was working the case and
initially only hearing that an agent had been shot
and seriously wounded.  He had frantically located
the Baltimore hospital where the victims were taken,
bursting through the ER doors to find Scully
standing at the nurse"s station talking with a
couple of doctors.  He stopped dead in his tracks,
feeling a relief that almost took his breath.

"Scully..." he said as he walked up beside her.

"Mulder?  What are you doing here?"

"I heard that an agent was shot on the Dupre case and
I thought..."  She took hold of Mulder"s elbow to move
away from the others, excusing herself to the two
men she had been speaking to.

"Mulder, I"m fine.  I"m fine," she said, a slight
tone of irritation evident in her voice.  "Why
didn"t you just call my cell?"

"I did--about fifteen times and there was no
answer," he told her, his irritation with her
attitude starting to show also.

"I"m sorry.  I forgot I had it turned off.  I was
helping in ER.  It was Willis who was shot, Mulder.
He coded but we were able to revive him," she said
tiredly as she led him into a private conference room
just off the ER waiting area.  She collapsed into the
closest chair, laying her head back against the wall
as she sighed a sigh of exhaustion.

"You okay, Scully?" Mulder asked softly as he sat
down beside her.

"Oh, Mulder... it was awful... just awful," she said,
struggling not to let her emotions show in her
voice.

"Tell me," he said,touching her arm as he watched
her.

"We had "im, Mulder.  Dupre looked like he was
going to surrender his weapon and then he just
pulled it up and shot Jack, square in the chest,"
she said, finally looking at him.

"What about Dupre?  Did you get him?"

"Yeah. He"s dead... He died in the ambulance, she
said, side-stepping the subject of exactly how he
died.

"It was you, wasn"t it, Scully," Mulder asked
quietly.  "It was you who shot him."

She hesitated for a moment before answering, her mind
unable to work quickly enough to process everything
her answer meant.  "Yes," she answered simply,
looking at her worrying hands in her lap.  "If I had
reacted a couple of seconds earlier, not let my guard
down when Dupre looked like he was going to
surrender, Jack wouldn"t be lying in there within a
heartbeat of his life right now."

"Come on, Scully.  If you hadn"t reacted soon
enough, you might be lying in there right along side
of him.  I"m sure it was a good shoot," he said,
standing, offering his hand.  "You"re a good agent,
Scully.  If Willis got shot with you covering his
back, then it couldn"t have been avoided. That I"m
sure of, Scully..."  She looked at him, then, giving
him a slight smile that he recognized as her way of
thanking him for his steadfast support of her.

"Mulder, let me just check on Jack, okay?" she
asked resignedly as she stood.

"Sure, Scully.  Take as long as you need."

"I won"t be long, Mulder. I just want to go home..."

UNIVERSITY OF MARYLAND
BALTIMORE
Two days later
After they had left the hospital, Mulder had taken
her home and made sure she was settled in bed.  He
had volunteered to stay, but she told him she needed
to be alone, that she would see him the next day. He
had relented, gave thought to staying on her couch,
but decided that he wanted to check on a few things
about the case before seeing her again and left her
to sleep.

By the time Scully had arrived in the office late in
the morning the next day, Jack Willis had already
left the hospital and was nowhere to be found and
Mulder had already gathered enough evidence to
postulate a theory that Warren Dupre was not exactly
dead and had inhabited Jack Willis" body.  Mulder
had talked her into meeting with a professor of
biology who had done extensive research on
near-death experiences but she was still more
convinced that Willis" miraculous recovery and
disappearance from the hospital was more
related to psychology than the supernatural.

"I don"t discount the near-death experience
because it can be explained empirically by
stimulation of the temporal lobe," she said to
Mulder as they exited the professor"s office.

"I sense a big "but" coming," Mulder said, fully
expecting her skepticism.

"Well, it"s still my best guess that Jack"s
disappearance could be explained in psychological,
not supernatural, terms."

"For instance?" Mulder asked, curious about what
she was getting at.

"The stress of the case; the trauma of being shot;"
she said, looking toward Mulder before continuing.
"Jack"s personality..."

"How well do you know "im?" Mulder asked looking at
her as they continued to walk.

Scully took a deep breath before answering, figuring
she might as well come clean about this whole thing
with Mulder.  "We dated..." she said as she exhaled the
breath she was still holding.  "...for almost a year."
Her admission caused Mulder to stop walking, a look
of "now I get it" finally appearing on his face.  She
stopped and looked up into his eyes, wanting to see
his reaction and wanting him to know she was telling
him something no one else knew.  "He was my
instructor at the academy," she finished, deciding
to walk away from him.

"The plot thickens," Mulder called after her, a
facetious grin beginning to form on his face.

Scully continued to walk away, but stopped, deciding
she wanted him to know something about her past,
about her.  She turned back toward him, moving
closer to speak to him, both of them oblivious to
the students walking around them in the halls of the
building.  She smiled, hoping Mulder would begin to
understand why the shooting had been emotional for
her.  "We even had the same birthday.  We used to
celebrate it in some dive in Stafford that had a
slanted pool table."  Mulder tried to smile at her
reminiscence, but was feeling that Scully might
have some unresolved issues with this man.  "But it
was always so hard for Jack to... relax--- it was
impossible for him, really.  He was always so...
intense, so relentlessly determined..." she finished,
looking at Mulder sincerely.

"Do you believe that he is predisposed to this type
of psychotic episode?" Mulder asked, keeping his
voice calm despite his inner anxiety.

"I believe it"s a long way from saying Jack had a
near-death experience to saying his body"s been
inhabited by Warren Dupre," she said, turning to
walk away from Mulder, wanting to get back to the
case to try and find any clues that might lead them
to locating Jack.  She turned back to look at Mulder,
coyly smiling her answer to him before descending the
stairs to the exit.  "... A long way..."

DANA SCULLY"S APARTMENT
GEORGETOWN, VA
Four days later
7:06pm
The case went from bad to worse, all within the span
of a day.  Willis had been located, his disappearance
and the circumstances surrounding it seemingly not
even slightly unsettling to Scully, but seeming
highly suspicious to Mulder.  He could see with both
eyes that Scully still had some kind of feelings for
this man and he felt it was affecting her judgment.
He had told her so, but she had just become angry at
him, so he let it drop... and it had very nearly cost
her her life.  Willis/Dupre had kidnapped Scully,
nearly gotten her killed all the while managing to
get himself killed--- again.  Mulder had busted his
balls to locate where she was being held and his
relief and excitement at finding her alive was only
met with indifference by her, her concern being aimed
toward Willis" condition instead of at seeing Mulder.

Mulder had gone to the hospital with her, the agent
in charge ordering her to be checked out before being
released to go home.  Mulder had called Scully"s
mother and left soon after she had arrived, not
wanting to even see Scully, much less speak to her.
And that was the way it had been for almost three
days...

Scully had been left to take care of Willis" personal
effects, planning his service and she had several
other issues to take care of before it was all said
and done.  Mulder had only talked with her briefly at
the service, feeling sorry for her after seeing her
obvious discomfort as being viewed as Willis" most
significant other.  He could see that she didn"t want
this role, but had gone along with having it placed
in her lap because that was who she was.  She knew
Willis had no one else and felt some obligation to
follow through with everything.

After Mulder had arrived home after attending the
afternoon service, he had called Scully"s cell to
check on her with intentions of meeting her at her
apartment with dinner.  Willis had been a
"Big Brother" to a boy that Scully had taken to the
service and Mulder reached her in her car as she was
driving the boy home.  "It"ll be a couple of hours
before I get home, Mulder," she said, looking toward
the sleeping 8-year-old next to her.

"I could bring some dinner by, Scully...  Say...
7:30 or so?"

She thought only an instant before answering, her
desire to not have to make dinner and not wanting to
be alone both distant seconds to needing to see
Mulder.  "That sounds good, Mulder.  I"m really not
in the mood to worry about getting something," she
said.  She was tired, physically and emotionally.
She hadn"t had time to really recuperate from her
abduction or the strange feelings she had had about
everything surrounding Jack.  She hadn"t had feelings
for him anymore.  Their split had been difficult as
he would not let her go easily after she broke it
off.  He had tried to coax her into seeing him
again, on several occasions, and had arrived at her
apartment uninvited late one night after having had
too much to drink.  It had gotten ugly and what
could have been a fairly friendly split had turned
into a bad situation, with him saying some cruel
things to her.  But after she and Ethan had begun
dating seriously, he had backed off, things being
generally civil between them when their paths
occasionally crossed at work.

"Hi... come on in," she said, smiling to him as she
opened the door to her apartment.  "Mmm... Chinese,"
she said, the smell immediately permeating the
apartment.

"Yeah, I hope that"s alright," Mulder said, placing
the food on the counter in her kitchen before
removing his jacket.  "I wasn"t sure what you"d be up
for... so... uh..." Mulder trailed off, unsure of what to
even say to her, his nervousness obvious.

Scully walked up to him, touching his arm before
speaking.  "Mulder, I"m fine... we"re fine... okay?" the
expression on her face questioning and reassuring at
the same time.  He nodded, smiled a strained smile,
still feeling uncomfortable at being alone with her
for the first time in weeks.  "Come here," she said
as she held her arms out for him.  He hung his jacket
over the chair and walked toward her.  She wrapped
her arms around his waist, laying her head against
his chest before speaking.  "Thank you."

"For what, Scully?" he asked quietly, returning her
embrace, rubbing her back lightly.

"For the first step," she said, stepping away from
him to look at him.

"You"ve lost me there, Scully," Mulder replied,
truly unsure of what she meant.

"Mulder..." she began, now looking at an unknown spot
on the floor. "Lately our friendship doesn"t seem to
have been what it once seemed to be and... and, quite
frankly, I, uh, I"ve missed you.  I appreciate you
coming here tonight... with dinner."

"Yeah, I guess it"s kind of a peace offering... such as
it is," he smiled.

"Well, it"s just what I needed.  Really...  Anyway,
thanks," she finished, moving to him to give him a
light kiss on the lips.  "Thanks...  Let"s eat-I"m
starved," she said, quickly moving away from him,
unsure how he felt about her action.  He stood there
fairly stunned for a moment, just watching her move
around her kitchen, getting out the necessary things
for dinner and setting them on the table.

They had a nice dinner with stimulating conversation,
something she realized she had missed dearly.  They
hadn"t mentioned the Dupre case or Jack Willis,
barely even talking about work.  They sat at the
dinner table for a long time, enjoying desert and
coffee.  They had moved to the couch after they
washed dishes together and opened the wine Mulder
had brought with the take-out.  Funny stories had
been exchanged as well as embarrassing college
stories, academy nightmares, before the conversation
got more personal, talking about family... and former
lovers.  "Mulder, you can ask me about Jack.  I told
you I"m okay and I am.  Really."

"Scully, if you want to talk about Jack or the case,
then I"m here to listen.  If you don"t, then I"m just
here.  It"s your call," he said quietly, wanting her
to do what she needed, not face questions just
because he wanted to know the answers.

"As I told you, Jack and I dated for a little over a
year," she started, her tone softening as she began.
"He was my instructor in an evidence course and had
asked me out before the course had ended.  At first
it pissed me off that he would do that, but I guess
my irritation was obvious and he apologized.  I
sincerely think he didn"t really think about me being
his student, so I ended up apologizing and asking him
out."  She shifted on the couch, her discomfort
obvious to Mulder, but he didn"t say anything, just
letting her continue.

"It got serious quickly... Jack was very intense---and
possessive.  Or, at least, he grew to be that way,"
she said, looking at Mulder then, a sad regret
obvious in her eyes.  "It was difficult to break it
off with him.  He just wouldn"t let it go.  I don"t
think he loved me that much, I think it was all a
matter of control.  Had he ended it first, he
probably wouldn"t have had much of a problem," a
slight laugh to her voice.  "But since I ended it, I
just think he couldn"t stand it--- didn"t want
anyone around the Bureau to find out he"d been
dumped, let alone by a fellow agent."  She smiled at
him then, taking his hand before finishing.

"I won"t deny that we had a lot of good times in a
lot of ways... and working with Jack again stirred
some unexpected feelings, but by the end, it became
clear again why Jack was not someone I wanted to be
with.  I just wish it had ended differently, that"s
all.  I certainly didn"t wish him harm... I hope he
finds some peace..." she finished, her voice
faltering a bit.

Mulder moved closer to her, putting his arm behind
her on the back of the couch.  "Scully, wherever
Willis is, I"m sure he knows that.  I think you must
have been one of the few friends the guy had.  He
obviously felt so and you should be proud of that,"
Mulder said softly to her, rubbing the back of her
hand with his thumb.  "You were obviously the only
one he trusted," Mulder noted, Scully smiling before
leaning her head on his shoulder.

"I never really thought of it that way, but in some
weird sense, I guess you"re right.  It"s sad really.
If I"m the person he felt closest to, then he was a
very lonely man..." her voiced trailed off, Mulder
recognizing that she was finished with this chapter
of her life.  And knowing Scully, that would be the
end of that; the topic would probably never cross
her lips again.  When she was done with something,
she put it behind her and moved on... a trait he wished
he had only a portion of.

They sat together silently for several minutes,
Mulder continuing to rub Scully"s hand, fondling her
fingers.  Finally, he lifted her chin, smiling
slightly at her before dipping his head to kiss her
softly, moving his hand to caress her cheek as he
did.  She returned the kiss just as softly, moving
her hand to hold his wrist as he continued to caress
her.  The kiss intensified and Mulder put his arms
around her, lifting her fully into his lap.  At
that, she interrupted the kiss, moving to wrap her
arms around his neck, holding him as close to her
as she possibly could.  She felt his stubble against
her face, but relishing the feeling as she nuzzled
his neck.  "Mulder..." she whispered, more of a sigh.

He didn"t answer for awhile, just continued to hold
her, rubbing her back, then over her bottom, down her
leg.  "What, Scully?" he asked softly.

"What are we doing, Mulder?" she said, kissing his
neck, her hand slowing running through his hair.

"We"re making out on your couch," he answered,
returning kisses to her neck, near her shoulder.

"You know what I mean..."

He did know what she meant--he just didn"t know the
answer.  He moved back from her, placing his hands
at her waist to move her so that he could look in
her eyes.  "What do you want to do, Scully?  As I
said earlier, it"s your call..."

She gave him a slight smile, brushing a stray strand
of hair from his forehead before giving him another
soft kiss.  "Whatever it is that we are doing, I
think we had better stop while we still can."

"Is that what you want to do--stop?" he asked, a sad
resonance of defeat clear in his voice.

"No, it isn"t what I want to do, but I think it"s
what we"d better do..." she said, laying her head back
against his shoulder.

"Then why, Scully?  Why stop?" he asked softly.  "You
know this is where we"ve been going since the day we
met."

Suddenly, she jerked up, staring at him with an
incredulous look on her face.  "What did you say?"
she asked, almost whispering.

"I think you heard me..." he said, the defeat still
present in his voice.

"Since the day we met?" she asked, still not quite
believing what she had heard.

"Well..., maybe that first day in Bellefleur, then---
at least for me.  I"ve never had anyone take me
seriously before, Scully.  At least not about
anything surrounding my sister..." he finished.

She could feel his sadness, his sincerity; could see
it in his eyes.  She smiled, again putting her arms
around him, holding him as tight as she could before
whispering in his ear.  "And here I thought it was
seeing me in my underwear..."  They both snickered,
again pulling apart to look at each other before
kissing again--- softly, at first, then intensifying
quickly.

"Scully...?" he said, kissing her neck, under her chin.

"Yeah?" she answered, almost panting.

"I"d rather see you out of your underwear..." he said,
moving one of his hands under her sweater to feel
her skin.

"You would, huh?" she said, barely managing more
than a mumble, continuing to kiss and nuzzle him.
Mulder started undoing the buttons at the bottom of
her cardigan, shifting slightly as his jeans became
a bit more snug.

"Mmmm... yeah, I would..." he whispered, continuing to
unbutton her top as he kissed the area of her chest
already exposed by the v-neck of her sweater. ""

"Then what"s stopping you?" she said coyly to him.

Continued in Pt. 5


AS IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN- Pt. 5
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
DANA SCULLY'S APARTMENT
Mulder scooted to the edge of the couch, and then stood,
lifting Scully easily with him.  She wrapped her arms
around his neck, laying her head on his shoulder as they
walked to her bedroom, both knowing that their lives were
about to change forever.  She had known, too, that Mulder
was 'the one' for a long time.  Maybe not since
she had first met him, but most certainly by the time
her father had died.  She knew when she needed to be with
him more than she needed her family's support then that
he would somehow be in her life forever.  And she hoped
it would be like this.

Scully kissed his neck, touched his cheek to turn his head
toward her to kiss his lips.  He returned her kisses as they
made their way into the bedroom, Mulder stumbling into the
dresser causing a laugh that eased some of their
nervousness.  When he reached the edge of the bed, he laid
her down on the comforter, her head falling gently against
the pillow.  He felt like his breath was being sucked from
his lungs, seeing her laying there, her sweater half open,
her auburn hair splayed against the taupe pillow case.

And it was him that she wanted.  Scully held on to his hand
as he moved over her, bending to kiss her as she reached to
pull him down closer, to feel him on top of her.  He moved
off of her to his side, bringing her with him while they
continued to kiss, caress each other, before looking at each
other for reassurance that they were doing the right
thing...
and finding it in each others' eyes.

"Scully, are you sure this is what you want?"
he asked, working on the remaining buttons of her sweater,
barely able to look at her after her sweater fell open and
he saw the tops of her breasts over her black lace bra.
"God, Scully..." She watched him look at her,
feeling overwhelmed by his obvious awe of her and barely
able to handle it at that moment.  She moved closer to him,
embracing him, then kissing him deeply, contemplating what
he had asked her, what she knew was going to happen.

"Mulder... tell me what you want," she told him as she held
him to her, her hand under his sweater, stroking his back
softly.

"You.  Plain and simple, Scully," he said, the emotion
catching in his voice.  He reached for her arms, grasping
her
hands in his as they faced each other, their eyes finally
meeting.
"But we both know this will change everything... and working
with you, being with you these last months has been... well,
I... don't want that to change."

"Mulder, it will change---you know that," Scully said,
sadness to her voice as a realization seemed to overcome
her.  She sat up, moving away from him, sitting up, shifting
her legs off the bed to sit on the edge. "If you didn't
want to do this, Mulder, why didn't you say so before you
had me in bed, half-undressed?" she finished, as she held
her sweater closed to cover herself. She wiped the tears
that came so quickly, not wanting him to notice her tears.

Mulder moved quickly to sit next to her, putting his arm
around her shoulders.  "Scully, no.  No. That's not what I
meant at all.  I, I just wanted to give you one last
opportunity to change your mind," he said, reaching for her
hand that had been worrying in her lap. "Scully, you
actually wanting me just seems... well, I just needed to
make sure that you are in your right mind, I guess,
before we... well, you know, did something we couldn't
take back."

Scully let her head drop and laughed, actually laughed out
loud before turning to look at him again.  "Mulder, why is
it so hard for you to believe that I would care for you the
way you care about me?" she said, moving over him to
straddle his lap, putting her arms around him.  "You know
I think you're intelligent, brilliant actually," she said
between kisses to his neck, his jaw line. "You're funny...
most of the time, anyway." His hands weren't still as he
rubbed her back under her sweater, then grasped it to
remove it.  She moved her arms from around him to let her
top open and fall to the floor, never stopping her kisses
to his neck, his face, finally embracing him again before
kissing him deeply on the lips.  "And you're a reallllly
good kisser," she smiled, reaching for the bottom of his
sweater to remove it.  "And... I think that if you don't
get me in that bed with you, I'll spontaneously combust..."

They had removed their clothes with a little help from each
other and Mulder had turned back the covers and crawled into
bed while Scully had gone to the bathroom.  When she had
gotten in bed, he had immediately moved over her, nuzzling
her neck, nervously stroking her stomach with his palm.
"Scully, do you need me to use some protection?  I mean, I
know I'm clean, but if you..."

"I'm on the pill, Mulder; everything's okay with me, too,"
she said softly, her voice sounding almost like a pant as he
continued to kiss and nuzzle her.  He was kneading one
breast while he was kissing and licking the other before
taking her nipple in his mouth to suck it.  "Jesus,
Mulder..." she sighed, causing him to smile.  He moved up
to look at her, propping himself up on his elbows over her,
continuing to smile at her.  "What is it you find so
amusing,
Mulder?"  she asked, smiling slightly in spite of herself.

"Nothing..., nothing.  I'm just really, really happy right
now, Scully," he said, and then kissed her--- hard,
passionately.

They continued to kiss; he continued to massage her breast
as he laid half over her, his hardness pressing into her
thigh.  She ran her hands up and down his back, over his
bottom, the light touch of her fingernails making him
shudder.  She moved more underneath him, opening her legs
to him as he moved between them, holding himself up above
her with his elbows.  He looked at her, able to see her
expression by the slight light coming from around the
ajar bathroom door.

"You are so beautiful, Scully," he said into her lips
before kissing her again.  "I want you so much."

"Me too, Mulder," she responded softly, rubbing her foot
against the back of his calf, moving under him as she
continued to stroke his back and kiss his neck, under his
chin.  She felt his hand move away from her cheek as he
reached for himself, finding her opening with the tip of
his penis before slowly entering her. "Mmmmm, Mulder..."
she sighed.

"God, Scully..." he said, his voice deep with arousal.
"You feel so good."  He began to move inside her, feeling
her hardened nipples rub against his chest, her fingers
tightening against his back.  The feeling of her moving
under him, responding to what they were doing was
awe-inspiring, his feeling of love for her
increasing with every move, beyond what he ever thought he
was capable of.

"Oh, Mulder..." she said, unaware that she had even
formulated a word amidst her sighs.  She bent her knees
further, moving her legs over the backs of his thighs, then
up over his bottom, opening herself further to him.  "Oh,
God..." she said aloud, the change in position causing his
friction to hit her in just the right place.  "Oh, God---
right there, Mulder...  Right there."  She could feel the
pressure escalating, her abdominal muscles beginning to
tighten, knowing she was so close.  "Don't stop---
ohhhhhh..." she finished as her orgasm hit, causing her
body to shudder harder than she had ever known was possible.
Her body jerked again every time he stroked into her, to the
point that it was almost embarrassing, painful.  "Mulder...
could you... stop a second... please..." she was able to
say to him between pants.

"Scully... everything okay?" he asked
her, his breaths as labored as hers by that point.  He was
balanced on his elbows, looking down at her, rendered
speechless by the sight he saw, the ecstasy on her face
beyond beautiful.

"It's just..." she stammered.  "Too
much... I... need to move, um, position a bit for
you to finish, Mulder. It's just too much
this way," she finished, shifting
slightly underneath him, finally looking at him, giving him
a slight smile before lifting her head to kiss him.

"Better, now?" he asked, returning her smile.

"Yeah... Every woman should have
this problem," she joked softly.

"What's that?" he asked, beginning to
move within her again slowly.

"Feeling too good..." she answered,
closing her eyes, the feeling of him moving in her just as
good, but in a different way; a way that felt wonderful,
but a way she knew would not bring her to another orgasm.
She knew she couldn't do that again, physically or
emotionally, not now.  Even when he began to move faster,
harder, she could just enjoy it and enjoy moving to help
bring him the pleasure he had brought her.

"Scuuullly," he groaned, his voice
betraying that he was close.  "God, I love
you," he said as he climaxed, emptying
into her with several hard thrusts, his body as erratic as
his thoughts at that moment.  "Scully,"
he sighed as he collapsed onto her, trying in vain to stay
up on his elbows, his face buried next to hers in her hair
splayed against the pillow.  He rolled to his side, holding
her tight to take her with him.

Scully held onto him, her leg wrapped around his waist, her
arms around his neck as their lips touched, not really
kissing, just breathing in each other's breath, each other's
life.  "Mulder," was all she could
say, finally kissing him, his lips, his face, snuggling
closer to him, trying to wrap him up in her arms.  She felt
like she couldn't get enough of him, her body feeling like
it was glowing, vibrating.  "God,
Mulder..." she whispered.  "I
have never experienced anything like that in my
life---not even close..."

Mulder's breathing had finally slowed and his thoughts
finally focusing so that he realized where he was and what
had happened.  He wrapped his arms and legs around her, too,
holding her tightly against him as they continued to lie on
their sides facing each other.
"Jesus, Scully..." he said
softly to her, rubbing her back, grasping her knee to pull
her leg further around his waist.  He could feel their
fluids on her, now on him, closing his eyes to take a deep
breath to settle the overwhelming feelings that were
swirling in him.

They lay in each other's arms, not saying anything, just
caressing each other, stroking each other's body, kissing...
Finally, she broke the silence, looking at him, smiling to
him.  "You gonna be alright,
Mulder?" she said, a slight tease to her voice.

"Scully, it wasn't just something
I said in the throes of passion when I told you I love you,
you know," he said out
of the blue, his tone and expression very serious.

Scully smiled at him in spite of his absolute seriousness,
placing her palm against his cheek, rubbing his face with
her thumb.  "I know that, Mulder.
I know..." she said softly,
kissing him then, drawing back and smiling at him again.
"I also know that I love
you."  He smiled then and kissed
her, softly but for a long time, not moving his lips from
hers for several minutes except for a few needed breaths.
His tongue stroked hers, traced her lips between kisses.
She returned his actions, sucking his bottom lip between
kisses, nuzzling against his face, his neck.  His hands
didn't stop moving either, rubbing her back before
reaching her bottom and squeezing after which he felt her
nipples harden against his chest.

"Mmmmm... Scully...  I never want
to let go of you..." he said,
holding her to him as he rolled to his back, holding her to
him.  She laid half over him, her leg between his, her head
on his chest, rubbing her hand lightly over the spattering
of hair on his chest. They stayed like that for a long time,
Mulder having covered them with the quilt to take the chill
away.  She dozed off and on, but, as usual, Mulder didn't.

"What are you thinking about?"
she asked after she stirred
and noticed him staring at the ceiling, idly stroking her
back, her shoulders.

"You," he said, looking at her.
"You are absolutely beautiful, Scully.
You do know that, don't you?"

"If you think I am, then that's
enough.  I only care if you think so, Mulder.  You know
those
kinds of things aren't all that important to
me," she responded, truly meaning what she
said.  He smiled at her, reaching both arms around her to
hug her, kissing the top of her head as she held him, too.

"What's next, Scully?" he asked,
later as they continued to lie in bed enjoying the touch of
each other's body.

"Well, I'm going to go to the bathroom
and then we're going to sleep and---"

"No, I mean what's next for us?" he
asked, knowing that she had understood his question the
first time.

Scully moved up, propped herself across his chest on her
arms, looking into his eyes.  "Mulder,
we will take this one day at a time.  We'll be fine,
okay?" she said, pleading with
her eyes for him not to over analyze things.
"Let's just enjoy this for a while."

"That I can do," he said, rolling
her to her back, moving over her, both knowing they were
not going to get much sleep.

DANA SCULLY'S APARTMENT
GEORGTOWN
Two weeks later, 8:05pm
They had been together six times since their first, Mulder
had kept count.  But then work had gotten rough and they had
been a bit tense with each other the last several days since
their case in Pennsylvania.  A guy Mulder had been
instrumental in sending to prison had somehow re-appeared
and was systematically killing off those close to him.
Mulder had become overly protective of Scully and she
resented it, telling him so and, instead, using herself as
bait to draw the suspect out.  It had ended well; Scully
was only banged up a bit and they got their killer without
him getting to anyone else.  But one of Mulder's good
friends had been killed and he had been distant, dealing
with his grief alone, not letting her in.

Their next case had been more up Mulder's alley, UFO's and
all the trimmings, and his mood had been better and his
interest high.  They had found that their office had been
bugged and her paranoia was more heightened than his, if
that was possible.  "Mulder,
this photograph is a fake,"
she said bluntly after closely examining the photograph
his 'deep background' had given him.

"What?" Mulder asked, almost in disgust.

"Look..." she instructed him,
pointing out all of the areas of the picture that didn't
jibe, that she felt his contact had obviously altered.
He had presented arguments for all her points and she was
getting nowhere.  "Mulder, we
should have it analyzed."

He stood from his chair next to her at her kitchen table,
his
anger very apparent in his voice.
"Why don't you just admit it, Scully?
You're determined not to believe him!"

"Well maybe you're too determined to
believe him!" she said
looking up at him standing over her.

"I am determined to follow a lead
that may result in the proof of the existence of
extraterrestrial biological entities!"
he said as he gathered the picture and the rest
of his papers from her kitchen
table.  "I need to go."

"Mulder, listen to me..." she
said, quieting her tone.

"No," he answered, walking away
from her toward the door.

"Please...  Will you just hear
me?" she said, standing,
leaning over the table to plead with him.  Resignedly, he
turned to face her, giving her a patronizing look as he
pretended to listen.  "I have
never met anyone so
passionate and dedicated to a belief as you...  It's so
intense that sometimes it's
blinding."  He relaxed a bit, realizing she was just
looking out for him, fearing that someone was misleading
him.  "But there are others who are
watching you, who know what I know
and wh..." she said, needing to take
a breath before finishing, choosing her words carefully.
"Whereas I can admire and respect your
passion... they will use it against you."
He nodded, knowing she was right.
"Mulder, the truth is out
there, but so are lies."

"Thank-you," he said softly,
looking at her intently, his eyes trying to apologize for
his earlier anger at her.

Mulder had left her apartment then, needing to cool off,
intending to spend the night in his own apartment as he had
since the completion of their last case.  They weren't
together every night or even with any regularity yet; their
nights together still being something uncommon and special.

Scully had taken a long bath to relax, her tension from
their argument lessening as she soaked. She had gone to bed
shortly after, knowing they would be headed to who knows
where by this time tomorrow.  She had just turned out the
light after reading a bit to make her sleepy when she heard
his key in the lock of the front door of her apartment.
"Scully, it's me," he called
from the living room.

"I, uh, wanted to apologize..."
he said as he entered her bedroom.
"I didn't want to leave things the
way I left them earlier."  She
sat up, leaning back against the headboard when he sat next
to her on the edge of the bed.  "You were
right.  I took the picture over to the night guys at the
lab.  Hopefully, they should be able to tell us something
by morning."

"Thank-you, Mulder.  I hope you
know that I don't question you because I don't trust you.
It's everybody else I don't
trust," she said, smiling at him.
"God, I'm starting to
sound like you."  They both laughed and he leaned in to her
to kiss her, which she returned.

"We okay?" he asked softly, holding her hand.

Scully smiled at him, putting her other and on top of their
joined fingers.  "We're okay," she said,
moving to kiss him lightly.

"Well, I guess I'll go...  We'll
probably be heading out of town tomorrow.  So... uh, I'll
call when I hear something..."
he stammered.

"Mulder...?" she asked softly.

"Yeah?"

"You have your clothes and luggage
already in your car,don't you?" she
said coyly, still holding his hand in both of hers.

"Yeah."

"Then, you've got everything you
need for work tomorrow, don't you?"
she continued, smiling at him then.

"Yeah..."

"Then go get what you need from
your car and be in this bed
in five minutes," she said,
arousal already apparent in her voice.

"Yeah!" he said, running from the
room like a kid on his way to the candy store with a
full pocket of change.  She laughed, enjoying his
silliness and needing the release.

J.EDGAR HOOVER BUILDING
OFFICE OF FOX MULDER
WASHINGTON, DC
One month later
Things had been going well between them, both personally
and professionally.  Mulder had narrowly missed finding his
'EBE' and his enthusiasm for continuing his search was
renewed after their cross-country trek to the state of
Washington.  Consequently, he had been in a fun mood for
their next case; a case of a faith-healing teenager in
Tennessee.  The boy's life had been a tragedy, but Mulder
was none-the-less at his wisecracking best.  Scully had
reserved two rooms at a nice Memphis hotel, much better
than Mulder's usual fair, and they hadn't once opened the
door to the second room.  They hadn't slept together on a
case up until that point, but knew they would probably
never sleep apart on another one.

A strange case in Montana hadn't taken very long and had
fairly much just proven to be cold and wet.  They were both
eager to get back to Washington and civilization and hoped
they might have some time at home before another case would
come along.  But the next day back, she knew better when she
entered the basement office and found him reviewing slides.

"Take a good look, Scully," he said,
showing her a slide of a large group of flannel-clad loggers
projected against his handy screen.

"What am I looking at?" she inquired.

"Thirty loggers working a
clear-cutting contract in Washington State--- rugged manly
men in the full bloom of their
manhood," he retorted,
his good mood still present.

"Right, but what am I looking
FOR?" she said, playing along
with his little game.

"Anything strange..., unexplainable...,
unlikely..., a boyfriend?" he teased.

"I don't know..., I give up,
Mulder," she said, smiling at his joke.

"You give up? Funny, that's apparently
what the Federal Forest Service has done
as well."

"Why, what happened to them?" she
asked, her curiosity peaked despite herself.

"In a word--- they vanished..." he
said flatly, finally turning away from the screen and
looking at her.  "Or so
it would appear."  He explained
the specifics of the case, the problems with eco-terrorists,
and the claims about the logging companies.

"It appears as if these 'monkey
wrenchers' are doing more than just a little
mischief making," Scully noted.

"That's what the lumber company and the
Federal Forest Service are accusing.  They've asked the
FBI to investigate.  I had to pull a few strings to make
sure
we got the case," he finished.

"For an eco-terrorism case?" Scully
asked skeptically.  "Do I dare ask why?"

Mulder flipped up another slide; this one very similar to
the one he had just shown her, but very obviously taken
decades earlier.  Mulder explained that this exact same
scenario could be assigned to a situation in the same area
of the same forest in 1934.  An entire WPA crew had also
vanished without a trace.  "Not one
of those men was ever heard from again."

"And you suspect what---
Bigfoot?" she asked sarcastically,
grinning at him.

"Not likely," he smiled.  "That's
a lot of flannel to be
choking down, even for Bigfoot."  She
returned his smile, enjoying the banter.
"Come on, Scully.  It'll be a nice
trip to the forest..."

OLYMPIA NATIONAL FORREST
WASHINGTON STATE
Two days later
Famous, almost, last words.  They had a trip to the forest
alright, but it had been anything but nice.  The weather had
been abhorrent and they felt like they were in the middle of
the war of the timbers.  They had become isolated in a cabin
with a ranger, a security man from the logging company and
one of the eco-terrorists--- a fine combination. Everyone
hated each other except them and the others would've been
happier if the FBI would've just stayed home.  They had
found
a body in a cocoon and some kind of swarming mites that one
of the eco-terrorists had warned them had killed his
co-terrorist, swarming him in the dark.  The only thing that
could save them was the light.  They had become isolated in
the ranger's station with no vehicle and they were more than
a day's hike back to civilization.  All of the gasoline in
the stranded vehicles had been sabotaged and they only had
a can full to keep their generator running--- and their
light on.

Unbeknownst to the others, Mulder had given the extra gas to
the eco-terrorist on only his word that he was going for
help and would come back for them.  Larry Moore, the Forest
Service ranger, was royally pissed and Mulder realized he
may have fucked up in a major way.  After his confrontation
with Moore, Mulder had gone into the cabin, leaving Scully
to deal with the ranger alone.

Scully found Mulder in one of the bedrooms, sitting on a
bed with his head in his hand. She entered slowly, taking a
deep breath before walking toward him to
speak.  "Mulder..."

"Look--- it's done.  I shouldn't
have let him go.  Let's just... move past it,
okay?" he said disgustedly.

"Fine," she nodded, distinct
irritation present in her voice.
"What do you suggest?"

"I don't know," he said flatly,
still unable to look at her, feeling her standing over him,
staring.  "We'll think
of something."

"Look... I think we both have a
pretty good idea of what happened to those loggers and what
happened to the group in 1934..."

"They only found one cocoon," he
said defensively, standing to leave the room, but not
meeting
her stare.

"It's a VERY big forest," she
said, her irritation still palatable.

Mulder turned to look at her then, raising his voice in
anger.  "Look, Scully, what
would you have done?!"

She looked at him then, her expression reflecting the tone
in her voice.  "You mean would
I have made a decision by
myself that would've affected the whole
group?" she asked him rhetorically.

"Oh, would you cut the sanctimonious
crap?!" he yelled.

"What do you want me to say?" she
said, hesitating before continuing.
"Let's face it, Mulder, we might
die up here.  If we're lucky, they'll find our bodies spun
up in a tree--or they may not find us at
all!" she said, yelling at
him now, her actual fear finally becoming apparent to him.

Mulder looked at her for a moment and couldn't bear what he
was seeing.  He realized that Scully wasn't actually mad,
but afraid.  And in that instant, he also realized that
this could be their last day together on the earth.
"You're right," he said softly,
looking at her intently.  "And
we're wasting time arguing about it."

She sighed and hung her head, realizing the exact same
thing he did at the exact same moment.  He touched her
only lightly as he moved past her to the window, looking
out, checking to see that it was snugly closed.  She moved
over to stand next to him, but not touching.
"What're you going to do?" she sighed sadly.

"Button this place up.  If we
gotta spend the night in here, we gotta do everything we
can to make sure the bugs stay out
there..." he said, moving away
from her.  He was afraid to touch her, even though he wanted
so badly to hold her.  Despite the fact that they had shared
a bed while on cases, it was only when they were in a hotel
away from the location of the actual crime scene and the
questioning eyes of others.  And since they were still
sharing the accommodations with the ranger, Mulder knew
better
than to even get close to her.  But he touched her lightly
as he moved to leave the room, getting to the door before
he heard her--- heard her sob.  He turned back to see her
standing there with her back to him, her hand covering her
face, trying to hold her tears at bay.

He flipped the latch on the door to lock it and walked over
behind her, putting his arms around her middle, bending to
kiss her temple lightly.  She turned quickly into him,
wrapping her arms around his waist and burying her face in
his chest.  He could hear her fighting to stop crying, but
not doing a very good job of it.
"Scully, we're going to find a
way out of this... I promise you."

"Oh, Mulder..." she said, her
words muffled by his sweater.
"This can't be our end--- not like
this."  She looked up at
him then and he bent down to kiss her softly on the lips.
She wrapped her arms around him again, holding him tightly
to her.  "Hold me.  Just hold
me for a few minutes..." she
asked and he held her tight, kissing her hair.
"Then we'll get this place tightened
up," she said, the 'Scully' back
in her voice.

OLYMPIA NATIONAL FORREST
WASHINGTON STATE
Later that night
The three of them moved into the main area of the cabin, the
only area with a working light.  Mulder and Scully were
lying on separate cots and Moore was sitting on the edge of
his, all of them not saying a word, just staring at the
light, hoping there was enough gas to keep it going until
sunrise.  Scully suddenly noticed the glowing bugs coming
in underneath an area they had patched closed.  "I can see
them," she said, continuing to stare at the green swarm,
moving to sit up.  "You guys,
look at this."  She got up
from the cot then, walking toward the corner where she was
seeing the moving bugs.  "Look,
they're coming through the wall, down where it's
dark--- you see them?!" she said
anxiously, pointing to them.  Mulder and Moore had moved
to look and now saw what she saw.

Suddenly, she looked down and noticed the bugs were
covering her hand, the arm of her shirt.  She stood,
panicked, "They're on me!" she
said, standing to try to move away from them, frantically
brushing at her sleeve to get them off of her.

"You're alright, Scully," Mulder
said calmly to her, reaching for her as she was becoming
more and more frantic.  "Scully...
easy--- stop it!" Mulder yelled
at her, trying to reach for her flailing arms.
"Scully!" Mulder said, finally
grabbing her arms just as she accidentally hit their only
light with the back of her hand.

"Get them off me!  Get them off
me!" she yelled, absolute
panic having taken over.

"Whoa, watch out!  Watch
it!!" Moore yelled, reaching for
the swinging light bulb as Mulder yelled to her.
"Stand still!  Stand still!--- Stop it!
Stop it!" Mulder yelled,
holding her arms, shaking her.

"Can you see them?!!" she yelled
to Mulder as he continued to hold her arms, trying to shake
her to her senses.  "Mulder, get them
off me!"

Mulder stayed calm, holding on to her, trying to talk to her
calmly.  "They're not just on
you--- they're everywhere.  I think that's what that
greasy residue is all over everything."

"I thought we were supposed to be safe in the
light," she said, looking at him,
trying to find reassurance.

"We are.  I think the light keeps
them from swarming," he said, looking
at her intently, wanting her to believe him, to calm down.
"We'll be safe as long as we stay in the
light," he said quietly to her,
his face mere inches from hers now.  She quieted, but he
could see that she was still more scared than he thought
she ever could be.  Despite the fact that Moore was looking
on, Mulder held her to him, comforting her for a moment.
He moved her to the cot, sitting her on the edge and sitting
down next to her, his arm still around her shoulders.  Moore
returned to his cot, staring at the floor, trying to give
them what sliver of privacy he could, given the situation.

Scully leaned into him, laying her head against his
shoulder, taking a deep breath before giving him a look
that told him to return to the proper decorum.  He removed
his arm from her, leaning forward, putting his elbows on
his knees, his face in his hands.  After a few moments,
he looked at her, finally speaking again over the
omnipresent gloomy din of the generator.
"How're you feeling?" he asked softly.

"I'm okay," she answered with
an obviously stilted optimism.  She took a deep breath,
trying to do something besides sitting there worrying.
"They're oxidizing enzymes... just
like fireflies," she said,
turning to look at him, wanting so badly to kiss him, have
him hold her.  If this was going to be their last night
alive, she wanted to be with him.
"Maybe that's why they cocoon
their prey... so that they can oxidize the proteins taken
from the fluids in the body."
The light flickered and they all held their mutual
breaths until the bulb glowed strong again.  Scully let out
the breath she was holding.
"What if the generator goes?
They all gonna swarm in here and drain the life out of
us?" she said facetiously,
her face resigned with pessimism.

Mulder continued to look at her, his heart aching that she
was losing hope.  "We've got
an hour and a half 'till
sunrise," he said softly to
her, wanting her to believe that they would make it.

"And then what?  It's over a
day's hike out of here.  We won't make it on foot by
nightfall."

"Well, maybe somebody heard our
radio transmission; help could be on the
way," he said, still trying.

"Hell, you sent that call hours
ago, I mean, help would've been here by
now," she continued softly.

"Well, I'm not gonna give up
on Spinney.  He gave me his word he'd come back to get
us," Mulder said, their faces
only inches apart, the conversation only between the two
of them.  And so much more was being said than the actual
words, only the two of them knowing what they were really
saying to each other.
"And if he doesn't?" she said,
her eyes searching Mulders.

"We'll think of something," he
said, looking at her trying to will his confidence into her.
She sighed, leaning into him again to wait for the sunrise.

Continued in Pt. 6

AS IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN- Pt. 6
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

DANA SCULLY'S APARTMENT
GEORGETOWN
Two weeks later
They had made it out of the forest, but not without being
swarmed by the bugs and being found only hours before
imminent death.  Had Spinney not come back for them and
had Mulder's radio transmission not made it to the
authorities, they would've surely died and disappeared in
the forest just as those loggers had before them.

Scully had spent a couple of more days in the hospital than
Mulder had, her body being more dehydrated by the bugs than
his.  He had stayed by her bedside, not leaving the hospital
until he left with her when she was discharged and had taken
her to her apartment, only leaving to get some clothes from
his apartment when her mother had come to stay with her.

"Dana, are you and Fox involved?"
her mother had asked her after the first few days she had
witnessed Mulder hovering over her.

"What?" Scully answered,
her mother's question totally catching her off guard.

"I think you heard me, Dana.
I'm not blind.  I can see how Fox treats you.  It isn't
the way he would be treating someone who was just his
partner," she said, giving her
daughter a slight smile.  "I'm
not trying to pry, honey, I would just like to...
well..." she stammered, realizing
it was really none of her business until Scully decided to
make it her business.
"I shouldn't have asked, Dana.
I'm sorry I---"

"We're involved, Mom," Scully
said abruptly, taking a quick sip of her coffee.
"We have been for a couple of months."

"I'm happy for you, Dana," her
mother said, reaching across the breakfast table to touch
her daughter's hand.  "I like him."

"You do, huh?" Scully asked,
smiling a quiet, proud smile.  "Why,
Mom?  Tell me what it is you like about him."

"What I like about him?" she
said, thinking about her answer before finishing.
"What I like about him is that
I know he is absolutely, totally in love with my
daughter..."

Mulder had been assigned a case with the violent crime unit
early into the second week she had been home from the
hospital.  She hadn't seen him in five days and, at times,
she enjoyed the solitude, but was looking forward to
Mulder's
return.  He had called earlier in the day telling her he
would be in later that evening and would bring her something
she had been wanting.  She could only guess.

The disaster in the forest had zapped Scully's stamina, but
she had been given a clean bill of health by her physician
the previous day and could resume normal activity as
tolerated.
So, she was looking forward to  Mulder's arrival for an
extra
reason they hadn't been able to think about for well over
two weeks.

Scully had gone for a walk around the neighborhood each of
the last couple of days, trying to get some exercise and
breathe some fresh air.  She had gone to pick up a few
things from the deli around the corner thinking she'd have a
few things on hand for Mulder when he returned.  She had
hoped he might be home earlier in the evening, but the last
time he had called, he had told her not to wait up for him.

She had taken a satchel on her walk to carry her groceries
and
a couple bottles of wine and was walking down the street
just
past the deli when someone took hold of her satchel, lifting
it from her hand.  She spun around, ready to defend herself
when she saw who it was.  "Ethan!
Goddammit!" she yelled,
bending over to catch her breath, her hands on her knees.
"Do you know how close you
just came to getting the shit knocked out
of you?"

"Sorry, Dana.  I didn't mean
to scare you... I'm sorry," he
said sheepishly, immediately chastising himself for not
thinking about how she would react.

"What are you doing here,
Ethan?" she asked quietly after gaining her composure,
standing up to look at him, taking her satchel back from
his hand.

"I still come to this deli,
Dana.  We just haven't bumped into each other before,
I guess," he said, finding himself
unable to take his eyes off her.

"I'm sorry, Ethan.  I didn't
mean to be rude... you just caught me off
guard," she said, her look
softening.  "How are you?
You look good."

"I'm doing great--- working for
CNN now--- the Washington bureau."

"That's great, Ethan.
Congratulations.  Really... I'm happy
for you.  I know that is something you've wanted for a long
time," she said, sincerely happy for him.

"How about you?  Still at the FBI,
I guess..." he asked.

"Yeah," she answered without elaborating.

"On the X-Files?" he asked, getting
to what she knew he wanted to know.

"Yes, on the X-Files," she said,
not meaning for the defensiveness that crept into her voice
to be there.

Ethan decided to change the subject, not wanting to anger
her
or take a dig but suddenly remembering something he had
almost
forgotten.  "I was sorry to hear
about your father, Dana," he
said, touching her shoulder.  "I
wanted to call... or something,
but wasn't sure you'd want to hear from me."

"Thanks, Ethan," she said, looking
at the sidewalk, still unable to talk much about her
father's death.

"How's your Mom?" he asked then,
always truly having liked her.

"She's good.  She has good days
and bad days, but she stays busy which seems to help
her," Scully answered, becoming
uncomfortable with the conversation getting a bit personal.

"How's everything with you?
You doin' okay?"

"I'm fine, Ethan.  Fine."

"Dana..., uh, you got time for lunch...
or dinner later, maybe?"
he asked tentatively, testing the waters.

"No, Ethan, I can't," she said
politely, giving him a small smile.

"You can't because you don't have
time or you can't because you don't want
to?" he asked directly.

Scully looked at him, thinking for a few seconds about how
she wanted to answer and finally making up her mind that she
needed to tell him the real reason so there would be no
question.  "Ethan, I would
like to be friends with you, really I would...  But
there's something you need to know
first," she said, taking a
deep breath to finish.  "I'm
involved with someone... someone I love very much.  So, if
you
are asking me as a friend, then maybe someday we could go to
lunch or maybe to dinner.  But if you are asking me in any
other capacity, then I'll have to say 'no'."

"Fox Mulder?" he asked, knowing
the answer before she provided it.

"Yes, Ethan.  It's Mulder," she
said, looking directly at him when she answered.

"Well, in that case, I think
I'd better just pick something up at the deli here and eat
my lunch in the car..." he said,
a certain sadness to his voice.

Scully gave him a slight smile and a nod, speaking to him
before she moved on down the
street.  "Take care, Ethan..."

"You, too, Dana.  I hope
everything goes well for you.  Really, that's all I ever
wanted for you..." he said, giving
her a slight smile.

She walked back toward him, embracing him, much to his
surprise--- and hers.  "That's
all I ever wanted for you too,
Ethan," she said softly, looking
at him once more before walking away, back down the street
to her life.

DANA SCULLY'S APARTMENT
GEORGETOWN, VIRGINIA
The bedside clock read 1:12am and still no Mulder.  She was
dozing, but seemed to wake every time she moved, checking
the
clock.  She had finally fallen asleep and was actually
sleeping quite soundly when she felt something tickling her
ear.  She startled awake to find Mulder bent near her, his
tongue licking her ear.

"Shit! Mulder---you scared
me!" she said, sitting up in the bed.

"You aren't going to shoot me,
are you Scully?" he asked, a
smirk firmly planted on his face.

"Give me a minute to get my
gun..." she said, finally smiling
at him, reaching to put her arms around his neck.  They both
embraced, Mulder nuzzling her neck before shifting to kiss
her passionately on the lips.

"Mmmmmm," she moaned, remembering
how much she had missed him, missed kissing him.
"God, I've missed you, Mulder."

"Me, too, Scully.  Me, too," he
responded, kissing her again, long and hard.
"Let me take a quick shower and I'll be in,
okay?"

"Don't loiter," she said,
giving him another quick kiss before releasing him.

He didn't.  When he returned to bed, he found her already
undressed, waiting for him.
"A bit eager, are we, Scully?"
he teased, moving close to her, propping himself up on his
elbow to face her, rubbing her stomach with his other hand.

"I can put my pajamas back on if
that's what you want, Mulder," she
countered dryly.

"Mmmmmm, baby, that's the
LAST thing I want," he said,
being silly.

"Mulder, if you call me 'baby'
one more time, the couch will be your next
destination---honey," she joked back.
"Come on, tell me how your case ended.  Everything
work out?"

"Yeah, they got the guy, a
creep on a whole new level,"
Mulder started, remembering more gory details than he
wanted to be thinking about.
"But I don't want to talk
about that, Scully---not now.
I'll fill you in tomorrow."

"Sounds good," she smiled, turning
to her side, scooting
closer to him, wrapping her arms around his neck.
"Now kiss me..."  He did,
pushing her lightly to her back, moving over her, continuing
to kiss her.  "I'm so glad you're home.
I've gotten kinda used to you..."

"Yeah?  Kinda like a headache?" he
asked, propping himself up on his elbows over her, bending
to kiss the top of her breast.

"No, kinda like something I
never want to be without," she answered, looking at him
tenderly.  "I love you very much,
Mulder.  I hope you realize that."

"You know, Scully.  Funny thing
is... I do," he said, almost
grinning at her.  He bent to kiss her, moving his hand to
her
breast, down to her abdomen, rubbing her there knowing it
was
a very erogenous area for her.  They continued to kiss,
Scully's hands rubbing his back, his sides, over his chest.
His hand descended between her legs, eliciting a soft moan
from her.  She moved the leg he wasn't laying over to open
his access to her a bit, wanting him to touch her there.
He found her center with his fingers, then moving to kiss
her neck, her shoulder, sliding down to reach her breast
with his mouth.  He licked her there, and then softly sucked
her nipple into his mouth, continuing to move his fingers
between her legs.

"Mulder, you make me feel so
good," she sighed, barely able
to speak.  He watched her as he continued to play with her,
recognizing that her orgasm was imminent before she told him
so; feeling her muscles contract in her groin, her hips buck
before she climaxed--- hard.
Her nails dug into his sides so
hard they hurt but he would never tell her so.  He just
watched her ride it out, her body shuddering, her eyes
clamped closed as she held her breath.

Scully finally came down, Mulder continuing to stroke her
lightly so she wouldn't just crash.
"You okay?" he smiled to her when she finally opened her
eyes.  "That was a good
one, eh?"

"Define good, Mulder," she said
groggily.  "I think you are
underestimating your abilities," she
finished, moving to wrap herself around him, wrap her leg
around his, kiss his neck.
"Jesus, Mulder..."

"It musta been good if your
deifying me before we've even gotten down to the main show,
Scully," he teased, holding her,
rubbing her back.

"Main show? You mean there's
more?" she asked, faking a yawn,
moving back to look at him.  She rolled over to her back,
holding on to him so that he would go with her, opening her
legs so that he'd fall between them, bending her knees to
place her feet flat on the bed.  He smiled at her, kissing
her lightly as he entered her, her eyes closing as he did
so.
He loved her so, realizing why what had always been 'having
sex' to him had truly
become 'making love' with Scully.

"Scully..." he sighed, unable
to get much more out of his mouth.  He continued to thrust,
her movements meeting his, her hands never still.

"Mulder, what do you need?" she
whispered.  "Tell me..."

"Just this, Scully.  Being with
you..." he whispered into her
ear, continuing to move within her.
"This is everything."  He kissed
her then, quickening his pace, pushing harder trying to
bring
her off again before he finished.  "Come on,
Scully.  Go with me, here..."

"I'm trying, Mulder, but
it's okay... I've had mine," she
reassured him, continuing to move with him, undulating to
match his rhythm.  "I don't
think it's gonna happen again
tonight."  And she was right.
His orgasm burst into her, his warm liquid filling her, his
groan of her name making her skin break out in goose bumps.
He spilled into her a few more times before he was finished,
his body falling limp on top of hers before he slid to his
side taking the full force of his weight off of her.

"I love you, Mulder... so
much," she said, snuggling close to him, laying her leg over
his, her head on his shoulder, kissing his chest.

"I love you, too... baby," he
teased, both of them laughing as they drifted off to sleep.

FOX MULDER'S APARTMENT BUILDING
ARLINGTON, VIRGINIA
8:14am
After Scully had returned to duty, they'd had a couple of
cases on the east coast, making it a bit easier on both of
them, before heading back to Washington State for another
'techno' case.  She hated those---Mulder loved them.

Their latest case hadn't involved traveling, but she almost
hoped it would have.  She and Mulder had gotten a call
regarding what looked to be a fairly routine case.  But his
'deep background' had informed him
that it was anything but
a standard FBI case and they had found themselves neck deep
in another conspiracy.  They had both discovered evidence
that the government had concrete evidence confirming the
existence of extraterrestrial life and were determined to
find it.  Only in the meantime, Mulder had disappeared and
Scully had been frantically calling trying to find him.  She
finally went to his apartment, thinking he might show up or
she might find some evidence that would lead her to him.
She had been up all night and was so tired she was running
on her last dose of adrenaline.

As she reached for the door bell at Mulder's apartment, she
was startled by the sound of a man's voice coming from
around the corner of the building.
"He's not home," the man
said, Scully whirling to see who it was.  It was Mulder's
'deep background' standing there looking at her.

"Where is he?" she breathlessly
asked.  "He's been gone
all night."

The man shook his head sadly.
"I wish I knew," he answered
sincerely, moving toward Scully to speak to her.

"Something's happened to him," she
said, both a statement and a question.

"They won't kill him," he said flatly.

"How do you know that?" she
asked, moving closer to him, the anxiety rising in her
voice, her affect.

"He's become too high profile.
And you've got evidence that could expose
them," he said to her.

"I don't have any evidence," she
said, her voice becoming louder.
"They took the evidence and they may
have killed in order to get it!"

"Listen to me--- evidence still exists..."

"Where?"

"It might be difficult to obtain,
but with your medical background, I might be able to get you
inside..." he said.  Scully's impatience
was palpable, her breathing betraying her inner fear.

"Inside where?" she asked.

"High containment facility---
Fort Marlene, Maryland," he
said, looking at her, knowing she would then understand just
how deep this conspiracy went.

"What do they have there?" she
asked quietly, stunned by what she was hearing.

"The wellspring, Miss Scully---
the original tissue.  If they've got Agent Mulder, they
might be willing to make a deal...
it could save his life."

DANA SCULLY'S APARTMENT
Thirteen days later, 11:21pm
Scully was lying in bed, but she wasn't sleeping--- she
couldn't sleep.  When she did doze, she would startle awake,
still fearful of what had happened on their last case.
Scully was able to infiltrate the lab at Ft. Marlene and
traded the evidence she had found for Mulder's life--- but
not for her contact's life.  The man who had led her to the
way to save Mulder had been killed himself; shot right in
front of her.  Mulder had been injured, was sick, but had
survived and had gone back to work just that morning.

Scully stared at the clock, taking a deep breath to recover
what had been startled from her by her dream.  Suddenly, the
phone rang and she answered it
groggily.  "Hello."

"Hey, Scully, it's me," said
Mulder, an odd tone to his voice, she thought.

"Where are you?" she asked.

He hesitated, not knowing exactly how to tell her what he
had
learned only a few hours before.
"They're shutting us down,
Scully," his voice almost breaking.

"What?" she said, leaning up on
her elbow not believing what she was hearing.

"They called me in tonight... and
they said they're gonna reassign us to other
sections..." hoping she couldn't hear
that the news had brought him to tears.

"Who told you that?" she said softly,
hoping against hope that it wasn't official news.

"Skinner.  He said word came down from
the top of the executive branch."

"Mulder...," she said, almost
gasping at the finality of it all.

"It's over, Scully."

"Well, you have to lodge a
protest--- they can't---" she
started, still unable to accept what he was telling her.

"Yes, they can," he interrupted flatly.

"What are you gonna do?" she asked softly.

"I'm... not gonna give up---I
can't give up... not as long as
the truth is out there."  The
click of the receiver sounded
like a gavel hitting a desk when the sentence was death.
She needed to see him, and more importantly to her right
then, she knew he needed to see her.


FOX MULDER'S APARTMENT
ARLINGTON, VIRGINIA
12:13am
Scully had dressed hurriedly, slipping on only her jeans and
a sweater, sliding her bare feet into her loafers.  She
drove
to Mulder's apartment, getting stuck in traffic from an
accident that had covered the road with scattered boxes from
an over-turned semi.  She was so desperate to see him that
she had finally resorted to using her FBI credentials with a
bit of a lie to be allowed to drive through the median to
get
around and out of the situation.

When she reached his apartment, she found his door unlocked
and no lights on.  "Mulder?" she
called softly as she moved into his apartment.
"It's me..." she said, then seeing him
lying on the couch, staring at the ceiling in the dark.

"What are you doing here,
Scully?" he said, continuing to
stare at the ceiling.

Scully removed her jacket, tossing it toward the overstuffed
chair in the corner of his living room, then moved to sit
next to his side on the couch before answering.

"I love you, Mulder.  This is
what people do when they love each
other--- they're there for each
other," she said softly to
him, her hand lying on his chest, moving only slightly.
"And I needed you---"

Finally he looked at her, wrapping his hand around her thigh
before speaking.  "Thanks,
Scully," he said simply, giving
her a small melancholy smile.

"This is as devastating to me
as it is to you, you know..."
she said softly, bending to lay her head on his chest.  He
put his arms around her then, stroking her back, kissing
her hair.

"Yeah, I guess I was too busy
thinking about myself," he
said, more to himself than to her.

She sat up then, giving him a soft kiss.
"Don't be so hard on yourself, Mulder.
You called..." He smiled at her, reaching
for her, pulling her down to lie next to him.

"I love you so much, Scully," he
said, his voice breaking slightly.
"I don't know what I did until I had you."

She propped herself up to look at him, a sly smile starting
on her face.  "You probably
would be getting more sleep..."
She grinned fully at him then, kissing him thoroughly.
"I have plans for you tonight..."

"Scully..." he sighed.  "I'm
not so sure tonight is a good
night..."

"Mulder, this just makes us need
each other all the more..." she said
softly, wriggling against him, feeling him start to harden.

"You are wicked, you know that?" he said, returning her
smile, squeezing her bottom.

"Take me to bed and I'll show
you just how wicked I can be,"
she said against his mouth, giving his bottom lip a
gentle bite.

"You just made me an offer I
can't refuse..." he said, smiling
before giving her a quick peck.  They both got off the
couch,
Mulder leading the way, taking her by the hand.  When they
reached his bed, he shoved all of the papers and boxes that
were strewn all over it off the opposite side of the bed to
the floor, a basketball bouncing into the wall.  She just
stood there watching him, finally laughing out loud after
he'd folded the covers down and turned to look at her with
his goofiest of grins.

"It's a good thing for you that
I don't hold out for romance, Mulder.  When's the last time
you changed the sheets in here?"
she teased, but really curious to know.

"After the last time I slept
in here--- They're clean, Scully...
Really... Well, at least for now," he
grinned, moving toward her, taking her in his arms, kissing
her neck, whispering in her ear.
"Let me undress you, Scully."  She
held him to her, laying her head against his chest, hearing
his heart pounding with arousal.

Scully continued to hold him against herself for several
long
seconds before moving away from him, her eyes giving him
permission for what he'd asked.  Mulder lifted her sweater,
pulling it off over her head, moving to hold her, rubbing
her
back after seeing she hadn't worn a bra.  She closed her
eyes,
taking a deep breath, feeling her nipples harden to tight
pebbles and her sex beginning to lubricate.  He moved around
back of her, never taking his hands off the skin of her
middle.  He reached for the button of her jeans, opening her
fly before sliding his hands down her sides, into her jeans,
smiling slightly when he realized she didn't have any
panties
on either.  "You are so beautiful,
Scully... so beautiful,"
he said, bending to kiss her shoulder.

Scully laid her head back against his chest, his hands
moving
inside of her pants around to her abdomen.  She shivered,
then
gasped when he moved one hand down to cup her, feeling how
wet
she was for him.  "Mulder..." she
sighed, feeling inadequate at not being able to speak more
fluently to him about what she was feeling.  He slid her
jeans
down to her ankles and she stepped out of them, just
standing,
waiting to see what he would do next.  He kissed her on the
back of her thigh causing her knees to buckle slightly.  He
stroked her skin, kissing what he didn't touch, until he was
standing in front of her.  He was looking at her with such
love and longing that coupled with how her body was
throbbing,
she wasn't sure she could continue to stand much longer.

He started to move her to the bed, but she managed to stop
him.
"Huh, uh," she said, reaching
for his t-shirt.  "It's my turn,"
she whispered, raising his shirt up, Mulder finishing
removing
it.  She looked at him as she undid the buttons on his
jeans,
now strained from his erection.  She started to pull down
his
jeans and boxers, but was so overcome with arousal, with
love,
that all she could do was lay her forehead against his
chest.
He wrapped his arm around her waist for balance, removing
his
jeans himself and moving her to the bed.  She sat on the
edge,
moving up to lay down, her head on the pillow.  He lay down
beside her, both of them just looking at each other, so much
being said with their eyes.

The sheets rustled as he got in the bed, scooting over to
her
in the center.  He started to lay on his side to look at
her,
but she crawled on top of him before he could move.
"Let's
start where we left off, huh?" she
said, rubbing against him as she had done out on the couch.

"Whatever you say, Scully," he
said, his hands holding her thighs as she laid over him,
only
breathing room between their faces.  She kissed him then,
running her hands through his hair, slowly moving against
him,
feeling his chest hair against her breasts.

"I love you..." she whispered
to him, next to his ear.  "I love
being with you... being
together like this."

"Scully..." was all he could say,
thinking that if he didn't
get inside her pretty soon he was going to embarrass
himself.
As if reading his mind, she lifted herself up on her knees,
his cue to hold himself up for her.  She moved over him so
that he was at her opening and slowly slid down on him.  He
held onto himself until he felt her wetness against his
hand,
softly rubbing her clitoris as he removed his hand.

"Oh, God, Mulder..." she sighed,
all the way down on him now, feeling his pubic hair against
her clitoris as she leaned further forward.  Her hands were
on the bed on each side of him as she began to move, feeling
like nothing could be more perfect.  She wasn't going to let
herself think about work, what tomorrow might bring, what
closing the X-Files might do to Mulder.  She just wanted to
lose herself in the moment and feel everything that she and
Mulder were doing together.

Mulder watched her all the while touching her body
everywhere
he could reach.  She sat up, sliding her hands down his
chest
onto his stomach, feeling the length of him all the way in
against her cervix.  He touched her breasts, gently
massaging
them, still just watching her, pure bliss reflected on her
face.  Her eyes hadn't opened since he entered her but,
finally, she looked at him, seeing him watching her.  He
smiled at her, reaching to touch her cheek, caress her face.

"You don't mind me watching you,
do you Scully?" he said
softly, hoping she didn't feel self-conscious.  She shook
her
head, her eyes barely able to focus on him.  She began to
move faster, her movements becoming more erratic as she
tried
to find the right angle to take her where she wanted to go.
His eyes were closed now, trying to hang on until she
climaxed.  Sometimes he would go before she did, but it was
much better for both of them if he could wait for her.  He
reached down to touch her clitoris, pushing on it with his
thumb, rubbing it as hard as he dare.  She lost it then, her
movements stopping instantly as she leaned back, her spine
arching.  He felt her pulsing against him, feeling her inner
muscles grabbing him in hard, rapid spasms.

After she seemed to come back to herself a bit, he needed to
move and began thrusting, hoping for release.  She leaned
forward again, placing her palms against his stomach, moving
with him again to meet his impetus.  She lay all the way
over against his chest, still moving with him as he seemed
to be struggling for release.
"Bend your knees, Mulder," she
whispered to him, hoping the change in position would be
what he needed.

And it was... emptying into her finally with several surges,
his knees giving out and his legs falling flat against the
bed.  She kissed his lips but quickly moved her actions to
his neck, under his chin, his chest, to allow him to catch
his breath.  Then she just lay quietly on him until he
calmed, enjoying the touch of their bodies, him still
inside her.  Then she felt him move, stroking her back, over
her bottom, her muscles reflexively tightening causing him
to slip out of her.
"Ummm," she groaned, suddenly feeling
empty, wishing their connection could last forever.

"Miss me already?" he quietly teased.

"God, yes..." she lamented.
"Mulder, I never want to move from
this spot--- never..."  They lay
like that for a long time, neither of them saying a word,
just stroking each other softly, enjoying the quiet
sensations.  Finally, Scully looked up at him, recognizing
the distant stare in his eyes.  "Don't think about it
tonight, Mulder... Please..." she pleaded
softly, knowing what he was thinking about.

"You know, Scully, somewhere
early in my life I must've broken an eternal mirror.  If it
weren't for you, I wouldn't have had any luck but bad
luck," he said, kissing the end of
her nose.  "Just when my life
seemed worth living, someone comes along and takes my work
away from me."

At that, she moved off of him, sitting next to him on the
bed,
watching him continue to stare off into space.
"Your life has always been worth
living, Mulder in more ways than you will
let yourself believe."

"I mean, my existence never
seemed very important, well,
before the X-Files... before
you..." he said, finally looking at her.

"Mulder, when you've pictured
yourself--- where you were or
where you might be in the future, have you ever imagined
yourself, say... mowing the lawn or taking out the
garbage?" she asked sincerely, softly.

"No... no, I haven't," he answered,
unsure of where she was going with her line of thought.

"You are meant to do this,
Mulder... because you are important, important enough to do
important work... on the
X-Files," she said, rubbing her
hand softly over his chest, looking down at him.

"Don't you mean unfortunate
work?" he said facetiously.

"Mulder, you may not have
imagined yourself doing this work, not exactly dreamed of
doing it as your life's goal, but you found the work because
God meant for you to do it," she said,
leaning against him, over his chest.
"And for some reason, I have been
placed here to be with you, in your work and in your
life," she finished, giving him a loving smile.

"God, Scully... What did I ever
do to deserve you?" he said,
his voice laden with emotion.

"Oh, stop it, Mulder," she
said, smacking him lightly on the
arm in jest.  "I just finished
telling you...  As usual, you
don't seem to have been listening to me."

"What?  Did you say something,
Scully?" he teased, rolling
her over on her back, laying half on top of her.  They just
stared at each other, both of them starting to smile at the
same time.

"You know, Scully.  I just
have this feeling that no matter
what happens, we're going to be okay,
you and me," he said,
still looking intently at her.

"Yeah... yeah, I think we will."

The End
Catch the numbers in the timelines?  E-mail me if you
figured it out.   philer@onemain.com